|Reviews for Shadow in Glass|
| KuraraOkumura chapter 1 . 1/4/2014
I'm sorry, but I don't understand any of what just happened. Maybe if there was more I'd be more interested in continuing, but as it is I have no clue what just happened and I'm not interested. I thought Carrie was smiling and then she was screaming? And you should engage the reader more with your characters. Remember that we don't know anything about any of them when the story starts, even if you do.
Good luck with the publishing process. :)
| ellie1156 chapter 33 . 1/11/2013
I LOVE YOU! THIS WAS AWESOME! I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT TO READ IT! I'VE DRUNK LIKE 5 MUNSTERS!
no seriously (and calmly though) i loved this story...it was interesting and you showed knowledge on my diverse subjects. There were some minor details that need fixing and such but otherwise I felt as if I was reading a book.
Minor details being grammatical and spelling mistakes as well as some points you should elaborate or make more clear. The whole glass thing and different worlds was cute, especially in the end...but you had me really confused with that. Especially toward the beginning.
By the way I'm not sure if you have done this yet but maybe you could write a story with the Eddie from the other side. Talk about his grief in losing his sister and the looking glass.
-tips from a nosy-busy-body! 3 Ellen
| alexisrenee chapter 29 . 10/19/2011
SO. MUCH. BETTER.
This is amazing! I love how she ousted herself as Carrie. The war scene is as good as ever, and so far it's just a lot more cohesive.
| alexisrenee chapter 26 . 10/9/2011
Ummmm I love the story, but there are humongous gaps.
In the beginning, there is a gap of quite a bit from the time when Tony first expresses interest to when they're almost breaking up. Now, chapter 22 was Carrie finding out about her father's injury and rushing to the hospital with no mention of Jason. Chapter 24 was a longer version of that that looks like you had edited it and added a lot in, but it didn't even show up until Carrie finds out about her father being shot. Chapter 24 is Jason and Carrie in the hospital and Jason somehow has found out about Carrie being Princess! Where was the scene where he found out!
Just a liiiiittle bit confused here. You may want to fix those things. I love the story a LOT! It's just a little hard to read...
| XtremeAngell chapter 33 . 2/26/2011
Great plot! amazing characthers!
My favorit was of Carrie, Richard, Jason and Emma in that order.
There was a great flow to the story even though you made large jumps forward (twice i think). You did great on explaining her enviroment and the people around her. The drama felt normal it didn't feel like it was overdramatic.
I like the fact that you didn't eleborate how she got to this parallel universe cause honestly I doubt that whatever or whoever switch her with Barbara could or would explain it to her.
You did great on Carrie's political part of life (do you have some kind of experience or knowlegde in that field?).
On her more personal part of her life it lagged a bit, like it was rushed and emotion lagged there as well.
I don't know exactly what your intentions were on this story. Was the story meant to follow her mostly on the political life or was it meant to have 50/50 focus on personal and political life?
Chapter 22 and 23 you GOTTA edit it, because it confused the hell out of me. Chapter 22 she runs out of classroom to the hospital and chapter 23 she has a serious argument in class about being worthy of being a queen and has a fight with Jason. Chapter 24 Jason suddenly knows that she is the princess but no explanation on how he knows or how he reacted.
Your story has great potential to become even better if you look through it again. You really deserve a lot more reviews than you have.
Thank you for the story I really enjoyed it ;)
| Stephanie M. Moore chapter 33 . 10/20/2010
Okay... I have a few comments.
First the bad:
a) There are some scenes missing, I feel, and some errors in the way your chapters are formatted. For example, one of your chapters is repeated (I apologize for not having a specific chapter... it's right after the king is shot.)
b) You don't really resolve the circumstances that initially bring her to this alternate world... it's just kind of swept under the rug and accepted as fact. You do mention the mirror again (the one where Edward and her mother appear) and I think some discussion about that would be beneficial.
c) There are some scenes that are just a bit superfluous. Good editing can get rid of those.
Now for the good!
1. You have a nice pace throughout your chapters. Don't let anyone tell you your chapters are too long- they have some length, yes, but there is nothing wrong with that.
2. You have a nice writing style, likable characters, and a unique world that retains enough recognizable elements. I like it.
3. You do present some good conflicts between Carrie and her surroundings. I think even a small amount of editing could really improve this story.
I enjoyed it, and I hope that this story and can attract more reviews. Good job!
| XxSiennaxX chapter 32 . 8/6/2010
I loved your story, I'm glad she ended up happy and can't help but hope that her brother had not died in her parallel universe.
One thing you may want to fix up - in 6. chapter 5 you wrote "Louis VIX furniture" - Those roman numerals are used in the wrong order - I think you meant Louis XIV (Louis the 14th) or Louis XVI (Louis the 16th). Other than that I could find little I didn't like about your story and I commend you on making the 'parallel universe' theme sound believable.
| kalisong chapter 16 . 5/10/2010
This story is brilliant and captivating. I don't think that the chapter is excessively long I think that its just right. Keep writing this story I look forward to reading more.
| C. Bradford chapter 1 . 3/17/2010
Do you honestly expect us to read through chapters that long? That chapter looks longer than a *53* page story that I'm writing! Goodness...