|Reviews for tsundere BOYfriend!|
| Popping Popcorn chapter 5 . 10/27/2010
itadakimasu - word said before eating
You can use a better definition here! It means "Thanks for the meal!"
either way, I really enjoyed this chapter.
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 3 . 8/27/2010
Lol I understood the Japanese terms here. Yay for me. :) Anyway, I think by this review has ended, I would have paid you back in full. Please let me know if it's not. I'd hate to default on any reviews especially if it's being owed N ages ago. :( Okay so basically I can see the whole over the top humor preparing to explode here. Rin was a hopeless horny girl as it seems, which will only add to the lol factor where Ren is concerned. I do feel that you could have upped the stakes on Rin's own over the top attitude towards Ren while creating some subtle showing of his assumed annoyance towards her to the more humorous end. Of course I do have to admit that Ren's part would be more difficult to do since I assume him to be the cool guy type and such characters don't let their expressions be known on a direct scale. So if you think it's a mission impossible, I'm sorry for making this suggestion. :( And lol the name Rin brought me back the good old memories of the Fate Stay Night visual novel. That's a good blast from the past. :)
P.S: If I've indeed returned everything you've sent to me reviews wise, then I hope you can review A Ranger's Tale in return. You've stopped at chapter one fyi. :)
| Old xRayneWolfx account chapter 2 . 8/13/2010
)It feels like your characters are actually teenagers, sweetness. I'm kinda confuse though a little bit- I'm trying to figure out the plot, but I don't have a clue what's your main plot in this.
But otherwise, this was a humorous chapter and I'm looking forward to reading more.
| Old xRayneWolfx account chapter 1 . 7/24/2010
I like how you use Japanese words in your story and your characters are animated ) what is a tsundere? I'm curious to know. Can't wait to read more
| Eytha chapter 4 . 7/17/2010
I'm terribly sorry it took me so long to get back to returning your review. Things have been pretty busy for me making it difficult to keep up on my reviews, but I hadn't forgotten.
You are cutting down on your use of Japanese, but there are still words that you should be using the English for. Everything you have in your translation section should be in English. The best thing to do is if you put them in a translation section then you should just use the English. Another thing that can help is look at official releases of manga to see how they manage the Japanese culture. Just remember if it is unique to Japanese culture it's fine to be in Japanese, but if it is not unique to Japanese culture then you'll want to have it English.
Keeping it in English will even out of the flow of the reading for the reader. If they have to stop and check to see what a word means then they are stopping and being pulled out of the story. You'll want to keep them engrossed and held in the story and keeping it in English will aid that.
You already have the genre style down really well as I said before. And the main character is a lot of fun providing plenty of entertaining moments. I still enjoy the daydream segments the moment. They are fairly brief here that I almost wish that she got sucked a little more into the illusions and played them out a little more for comedic effect. Still they remain my favorite parts.
I did get a little confused when she was grabbed and Ren was dealing with the one who grabbed her. I don't know if it was the cooking club or another group that was doing it. But that was my only moment of confusion. It was a fun read. Keep up the hard work!
| Melissa Norvell chapter 1 . 7/10/2010
Thank you for your review on my story, Bloodstained Noble. As promised, I shall review you in turn. This chapter was interesting but it seemed a little rushed, as a word of advice and a helpful opinion, you should slow down your events and pace them out to make your work flow more evenly. Take time to talk about your characters a little more and put in a little more description. Usually things like that put a better flow into your story and it doesn't seem to thrown together.
I wish you luck in your writing and I hope to read more of this story. It has a lot of potential so far.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 7 . 7/9/2010
I just went past 4 to 5 chapters and there was nothing else mentioned of the disappearings or weird events in the academy. Instead, it was all about Ami and Ren going around in the fair like a couple.
I don't know what your plot is exactly, but I feel as if the plot has just run into a wall and is going in circles, focusing on Ren's jealousy and the couple's enjoyment of the club fair. I'm left wondering if the story has progressed at all since the last few chapters.
I'm nto saying it's bad, but maybe you might want to lump the fair events into one or two chapters so that it doesn't feel like the story's draggy or not progessing, maybe? Of course I think I might have misunderstood the plot if this whole story was going to be a melodramatic romance comedy focusing solely on Ren and Ami. My bad, sorry.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 2 . 7/9/2010
I have a question. When did Soushi say that students were disappearing from the academy? He only said weird things are happening. You have to keep your story consistent.
Other than that, it's pretty interesting so far. Nice dream Ami is having.
I'm wondering why the Academy is named Ash Academy, though. If it's in Japan, shouldn't it have a Japanese name, or is it a foreign academy?
| Seigetsu Ren chapter 1 . 7/7/2010
Hi. Thanks for your review of my story. I checked out your profile and was interested in this story after I read the title and summary.
I think the first chapter had a really good pace. You introduced a number of characters and set the mood for the story without making it bland.
May I ask if this story is set in Japan? I can understand that you might've used the Japanese language throughout the chapter to develop on the setting, or to solidify the notion that this is a manga-style story, but I find it a tad bit distracting (even though I happen to comprehend the sentences you've used). You may want to consider limiting the use of Japanese in future chapters if it is unnecessary.
I also think that you can improve on the phrasing of your sentences. Occassionally, you would pair two unrelated ideas into a single sentence, which makes comprehension difficult. For instance, "I wondered what I had done to offend a complete stranger as the girl who had talked to me stood up and introduced herself." I think it would be better if you break that down into "I wondered what I had done to offend a complete stranger like him. As I was thinking to myself, the girl who had talked to me earlier stood up and introduced herself."
Other than that, I found the story very enjoyable and humorous. Hope you'd continue to write this wonderful piece.
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 2 . 6/9/2010
Pasta is good if it's cooked well. Beef bolognaise ftw. Nothing else will do for me. :D Anyway, it seems that you're trying to mash mystery action with romance here. I might be wrong though, so I guess I'll just have to see what you've got to offer. And I'm pretty much impressed with your command of Japanese. If there's any pet peeve of mine here, it will be the fact that you can actually save the translations for the A/N instead of straight out in the chapter. Stuff like this can disrupt the flow of reading for your info. Apart from that, I guess the plot seems to be setting up pretty nicely. Sorry if this review is short. Brain has gone a bit ka-bzt at the moment. x.x
| SanjiandSerea chapter 1 . 3/29/2010
Hmm this is very fun and cute, I don't understand the japanese all that well but aside from that it's good you almost never seemale tsundere without twists!
| Lady Kiri chapter 7 . 3/28/2010
"The arrow was about to reach the target board when suddenly, it turned around and flew back towards me, as if it was a boomerang."
OWNED! I'm glad to have caught up and I like how this story is turning out.
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 1 . 3/19/2010
Herro there. Me again. Ergh I won't blame you if you've forgotten me. Quite frankly I've done a major fail in returning reviews on time yet again. :( Anyway, this is a fairly decent starting chapter. All in all this story really reminds of the classic school romance manga. But I'll have to say that your characters seem a bit too dull. As of now, I assume only Ami and Ren are the vital cast. For Ami, I think you could have inserted certain stuff as part of her identity as a character. So far I've yet to see anything that can define her as a character, but then again, I might be too harsh here given that this is only the starting chapter. In fact I'll be the first one to say that I'm guilty of the same thing as well every now and then. As for Ren, maybe you could have played up his tsundere nature since what he had displayed isn't strong enough. And seeing Usagi reminds me of Sailor Moon. You should get the picture once you've known the name of the titular character. Never cared much for it though since I'm more of a seinen and shonen genre fan.
P.S: Return this review via The Eternal Grail. :)
| Niki Tori chapter 7 . 3/12/2010
Another awesome chapter. That was so creepy how the arrow turned back around though. Things are just so bizarrely funny at this school. Can't wait to read more!
Much Love and Many Hugs,
Also Happy White Day! lol. Sorry i have no chocolates to give...I ate it all. . Just kidding around.
| Seth-Cypher chapter 6 . 3/4/2010
I guess this is where the tsundere moment begins lol.