|Reviews for Those Leopard Print Shoes|
| lianoid chapter 1 . 4/28/2010
The way you use metaphors and similes is truly amazing. You have such a brilliant mind. The second last paragraph in particular, was beautifully written. There are so many wonderful lines in this piece, you truly are an artistic marvel. The images are so vivid, and the emotions so overpowering. Honestly, you are a spectacular writer.
- “His mind was a shopping center and all the stores were closed.” – Beautiful line.
- “Linear time matter again.” - I think you meant “mattered”, if not, just ignore me. :)
| Kobra Kid chapter 1 . 4/23/2010
Wow, that was awesome! All the time you spent editing sure paid off! :D. I didn't see any errors whatsoever & everything was great. Seriously, fantastic job.
-Broken Cross from the RH
P.S. If you don't mind, could you please payback via RFTA? Thanks! :)
| Young Cali Punk chapter 1 . 2/15/2010
Wow, this is a really powerful piece. I'm excited to see what you can do with it. I'd have to say this man is definitely not happy. I've been through a rough break-up or two, and that's pretty much how it goes. Favorite line: 'Fragments of the imagination are more or less just streams of thought in the mind, less existentialism and more theoretical physics. Some of the most brilliant thoughts are those blurted out in random blankness with no prior connection.' Very interesting work, I'd really love to see more.
| Skinny.Pig chapter 1 . 2/15/2010
Just from reading this once over, I was confused as to whether he was commiting suicide or just shooting up. The story is wonderful though either way. I can geniunely feel for him as he goes through the heartbreak. Great story and great emotions, I'd love to read more of your work. : )
| fudgyvmp chapter 1 . 2/14/2010
welcoem to the roadhouse
First my only major grammar complaint. You shift from past to present many times. I've always been told to stick either in past, present or future and to never switch in stories, but if this your writing style I’m okay with it.
"Like a two bit whore but with a better vocabulary" I think two bit is hyphenated, but that doesn't stop this sentence from being really funny and contrasting with the depressive tone bringing in some angst.
On a similar note, you make good use/lack of use with grammar here. I'm a nit-pick at it usually really anal, but the way you write brings the words together in a way that they still make sense, it actually brings more life into your writing.
You have the most interesting way of conveying feelings "Like gnomes trying to violently rape his organs."
Umm I'm almost afraid to ask, but near the end I got a bit confused, this is a piece for literature tests. He died right? Killed himself? I only ask because you don't say it exactly, but it seems completely implied to me (the blood and then the Akheron). the last time I thought something was implied I was yelled at for misinterpreting which is the only reason I'm questioning here.
Anyway, you’re writing style is phenomenal for short pieces like this. It really gets emotion conveyed, like a conceit that actually makes sense.
If you feel like returning the review, I'd love one on the prologue to my story Guardians' Creed, though whatever you feel like is fine, or nothing at all.
| ephemeral dance chapter 1 . 2/14/2010
Welcome to the Roadhouse!
And... wow. Double welcome to the Roadhouse because this was amazing. It's one of this things that I really can't even think of a good, proper review for. I just want to say "IT WAS PERFECT" but that sounds so fake and I can't leave it at that.
But this was, this was perfect. Your style is amazing, just the kind of the thing that I love. It was flowing and profound without being pretentious. Really just great.
I loved it. Fav'd.