|Reviews for Fade|
| Ebrethiel chapter 1 . 3/4/2010
Excellently written poem. Although, I must make a comment on your use of the word "azure". It does make sense in the poem, but it just didn't continue my flow of reading properly. In my opinion, the poem would have been better if you just used the word "blue".
Also, in the fourth, fifth and sixth lines:
(No longer can I see the faces of the ones I love
The shape of a tree swaying in the breeze
the bright flowers in my garden)
I think there should be a dotted comma thing ';' (sorry, I forgot what it was called) after each of the lines. Or at least a comma.
In the last two lines:
(All that I took for granted,
I think it would have been more suitable for you to use the same tense in both lines. For example, if you want to use past tense in the first of the two, you should use past tense for the latter as well - then become:
(All that I took for granted
But in my opinion, I would personally use present tense for both of them:
(All that I take for granted
That's just my opinion, though.
Overall, it is an amazing poem and very well written.
| Lightning And Blossoms Eye chapter 1 . 2/26/2010
Why must you write such sad things?
| Eternal Note chapter 1 . 2/26/2010
i like it not love like