Reviews for Lost in a light
RipplingEbbulience chapter 1 . 2/18/2010
Well done!

Keep writing.

-Rippling ebullience
Atomdancerr chapter 1 . 2/13/2010
Painfully beautiful! As always your stuff is so deep! I think I finally understand one, this one! Dieing stars are a Ghost's worst nightmare! They are the real lake of fire that awaits all Ghosts for Ghosts are homeless dead Humans who did not make it into that 1500 mile long cube called New Jerusalem (mentioned last two chapters in Bible) due to not making peace ahead of time with Its owner the Carpenter who will end up with His Kingdom if for no other reason simply that we use Science to invent it and give it to Him and He deserves it. Over the next ten to fifteen billion years Science can fulfill all Faith. New Jerusalem exists if for no other reason, self fulfilling prophesy and relativistic circling Space/Time for due to General Relativity which has been soundly proven the Future is the Past. When our Sun and other stars go nova they will truly be lakes of fire and woe unto all Ghosts! :((
Aniette chapter 1 . 2/11/2010
I especially enjoyed the way the first three stanzas follow the loneliness of a hurt heart before it suddenly gets so structured, concise, and the hope dissolves into an acceptance of reality. Wonderful!
pearls1990 chapter 1 . 2/4/2010
Wow! This is wonderful! Very sad and very heartwrenching! You two need to collaborate more often!
Chaos Apple chapter 1 . 2/1/2010
As I've said before, you have a fantastic grasp of diction. You make very wise word choices.

"I've been wandering,/restless, amid those ruins"

that line is so full of power, and heartbreaking. The sense of loneliness is tangible. It feels as if the world has fallen off it's axis.

The entire poem has a very surreal feel to it. Expertly crafted.
Little Miss Cullen Cutie chapter 1 . 1/31/2010
Beautiful. I like the part about the ruins, it seems to me like it's dusk, which is my favorite time of day. Just the way you (and you friend) described things is very lyrical and poetic.

~Little Miss Cullen Cutie~
Punslinger chapter 1 . 1/30/2010
This is a good poem of forsaken love. The imagery and feeling ar there. Now for the bad news: For me, at least, the sum doesn't equal the quality of its parts. Mirabella has made such a strong impression (I haven't read K. Chance yet) that I would rather each poet stand on her or his own merits.
Isca chapter 1 . 1/30/2010
"I've been wandering." I love this opening line; it reminded me of T.S. Eliot, for some reason. It's tragically beautiful.

"Amid rocks and memories and a piano; amid particles." God, the angst here is palpable. I love the "amid particles" part; it's a lovely way to conclude this thought.

"Without being able to listen to the silent words." Very thought-provoking and philosophical.

"Lost in a light, the simulacrum of a dying sun." Oh wow. What a marvelous image. The ghost of brightness. STUNNING!

Nice collaboration, Mirabella and K. Chance. :)
Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 1/30/2010
Grey-headed Lovebird (Agapornis canus)

[Not J. Alfred Prufrock's lovesong redux]

restless at world's end

when red giant swallows earth

changeling spirit roams
Casino Kat chapter 1 . 1/30/2010
very pretty. impecable imagery.

Now Autumn whispers sonnets, and you are made to rest.

- I think this happen to be my favorite line, though it almost sounds a bit dejected. I'm usually drawn to dejectedness, though.

letyoursoultakeflight chapter 1 . 1/30/2010
I like this ] I was reading Brother's Grim inspired poetry today and it kind of has that kind of a feel to it.

And a piano, playing silently

Amid particles of shattered dreams

- Love that. The piano just shouts memory in my opinion; lovely ]

Walking paths you’d have me not.

- Is that a little rebellion I detect?

Threw labyrinths at my hopes,

- brilliant way to thwart something! Or perhaps not thwart... just making sure you really want the prize ]
fleur de l'est chapter 1 . 1/30/2010
retless - do you mean restless?

Would I be correct in guessing you wrote the rhyming verses?

The alternating structure between regularity and free-verse makes me wonder if this is 2 different voices, or just different thoughts of one. The imagery is definitely pretty, especially "Threw labyrinths at my hopes".

Some lines remind me of T. S. Eliot.. "Amid rocks and memories" reminds me of the first part of The Waste Land, remembering wonderful things past amidst a deserted landscape. "semblances and resemblances" certainly sounds like Prufrock's "visions and revisions" xD

But that's not to say the poem is Eliot-like. Although the message seems somewhat desolate, the imagery is very rich, and I'm inclined to think the ending isn't that unfulfilled after all.
Lady Livia chapter 1 . 1/30/2010
The entire time... I pictured this as a woman walking through ancient ruins in Europe or somewhere... thinking about her life and all those ponderings... in that peaceful, yet haunting setting.