|Reviews for 152 Bennett Street|
| deefective chapter 1 . 3/26/2010
Flow: Hmm, I'm not so sure about the flow in this one. Though I did like the prose-y feel to it, the rhythm was a bit off. I felt like some of the lines were either too short/long or didn't belong where you placed them, yet at the same time it wouldn't work any other way. I'm not sure what it was, really.
Descriptions/images: Your imagery in this is just lovely. Very soft and gentle, and it lends a tone of an old family tale to this. I liked the fact that it seemed effortless as well, and not as if you were trying to think up things to describe poetically.
Tone: The whole piece had an overall tone of a family tale, as I said before, but it also had the feeling of an excerpt from maybe a book. There's a quality to this that makes me feel like this is not the end, as if there's more that could be said but you chose not to. Not that it's a bad thing.
Other: I found it interesting that you didn't choose to format this and instead just wrote sentence after sentence as if writing a paragraph. I think that's one of the things that lent that out-of-a-book feel to it. I kind of enjoyed it as well, just because poetry is so often broken up and stylized.
Overall, nicely done.
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 2/5/2010
I love that you used a kind of poetry prose/flash fiction method to give us this image because you said a lot without writing too much, or becoming too elaborate. Well done. I also enjoyed the idea of your first line, "I believe that if a place can be cursed, another can be blessed" it's a cool idea that I think you took with and ran with wonderfully, and there are some binary opposites that aren't thought about as much as others. I also loved the image of "shipwrecked souls" because of the desperation of being shipwrecked and how that would form a good connection and juxtaposition with the idea of being "blessed."
| lipleaf chapter 1 . 2/5/2010
This was certainly an interesting piece. I'm not overly fond of the format, if only because it reads like a story, but in this case it actually works quite well, since you write in complete sentences.
I liked "The wildflowers outside never die." It just seemed so profound, like the flowers thrived off of the blessing. It was almost as if the blessing gave this place not only safety and comfort, but life itself. I also enjoyed "their prayers are embedded in the woodwork." It gave me the feeling that the house itself wanted to be blessed, wanted to be holy, so it kept the prayers of saints stored within itself all this time.
| for shame chapter 1 . 2/2/2010
my favorite is the first sentence.
nice to find some optimistic poetry.
beautiful, as always.
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 1/31/2010
Oh, this is nice. I like the personification given to buildings in this, even if I'm not much of a religious person myself. It's still a very nice little piece. Keep writing! :)
| Isca chapter 1 . 1/30/2010
"Benedictus." You had me at "Latin." ;)
"I believe that if a place can be cursed, another can be blessed." A thought-provoking opening line. I like the tone: it's hopeful. This is a new spin on, "If a door closes, another will open."
"The numbers on the doorpost [...] ward off night and pull in the lost - pull in the wayfaring, shipwrecked souls." This is probably my second-favourite line from the piece. The "pull in the lost" part reminded me of parents who leave the front porchlight on when their child has been kidnapped, in hopes that their child will find its way home. The fact that you used numbers, instead of light, however, made me think of numerology, astrology, alchemy, etc. I also like how alliterative "shipwrecked souls" is. Yup, an excellent line. :)
"I hear sweet words around this house." Like a hum of "Hallelujah" when you walk down the hallway. Stunning.
"The wildflowers never die." Well, isn't this just an impactful little line; it's incredible! I love the pastoral imagery and the powerful message.
"Their prayers are embedded in the woodwork." This is my favourite line from the piece; my heart just thudded in my chest. Prayers embedded in the woodwork. Truly, that is a masterful line; bravo! I love the idea that prayers can resound, like the tolling bell, in the very frame of a home; ancestors watching over the new generation. How heart-warming.
"The bell tolls its blessing." John Donne would be proud of such a lovely line!
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 1/30/2010
this is really something. it's so thought-provoking and the first line just draws me in and leaves me wanting more. the whole thing, is just really beautiful. i love the bit about shipwreckled souls and the prayers in the wood. excellent.