|Reviews for His Terrible Beauty|
| JHeartbreak chapter 1 . 11/23/2011
This is quite a good poem. While the sentiments are cliche, you more-or-less manage to imbue them with your own personal pain and intensity of emotion. I think what ultimately makes the poem is your use of imagery and meter. The insistent rhythm (which reminds me of Swinburne) adds immensely to the hypnotic effect of the dream that you relate, and gives the poem a tautness and viscerality. The imagery is sharp and fresh, and never feels merely ornamental. Overall, I'm left with a sense of harsh inevitability.
If I have any suggestions for improvement, I'd say that you might alter the figure of the lover. He strikes me as stereotypical, leading to the cliche, when you might have him archetypal. He seems to exist only as a disembodied pair of lips and a hand, and only to exist in relation to the speaker. I think the pain of the speaker would be more cutting if we had a better sense of what she is yearning for.
| yuanyuan chapter 1 . 6/4/2010
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| The Only Black Dove chapter 1 . 4/29/2010
OMGH! i started to cry. i hate you i dont mean that X0. this story made my heart ache and i couldn't help but feel the pain of the poem. it was great
| XxGlAmOuRkIlLsXx chapter 1 . 3/14/2010
This is one of the best, most intense stories I've read on here in a long time. It wasn't cheesy and cliche like a lot of other stories. I literally started reading it and couldn't stop until I finished. It was absolutely brilliant, I loved it. :)
| ripplingebbulience chapter 1 . 3/14/2010
Great use of words...
| Artume chapter 1 . 2/9/2010
WOW. I normally don't read poetry at all, but I saw this under the SkoW nominations, and the title was intriguing. Just WOW. I loved it. It's so sad, yet so perfect. As soon as I can figure out how to vote, I'm sure my vores going to you! (I have to read the others, though). But I love, love, love this!
| Electric Colours chapter 1 . 2/2/2010
I can't describe how jealous and how in awe I am of your words. They're absolutely beautiful but so emotional as well.
'Lord, help this dreamer
as Life does its worst,
for I’d sleep forever
to have him again.'
..are my favourite lines :) x x
| letyoursoultakeflight chapter 1 . 1/31/2010
as night’s black cloaking
smothers my sense,
- I love your description ] And it's odd that I pick up on that bit when I LOVE the night and think it's stunning but adore your 'smothers' description nevertheless!
And I like how you use your pen name in it too ]
The moment now shivers,
- love it
| MarieAnn chapter 1 . 1/31/2010
Wow. Beautifully written.