|Reviews for Demons|
| Hadraniel chapter 1 . 1/31/2010
I cannot think of anything negative to say about this work. You perfectly balance descriptive prose with readability and pace. The character's feelings are well portrayed; he seems to accept his fate without quarrel, and each of his small victories he recounts with an edge of hopelessness. But it would be a disservice to you and your story to continue this "back of the box" style blurb. Thus I shall attempt to offer some measure of criticism.
Of all the stages of this poor man's life in possession, why choose this particular one? Admittedly it makes the most sense with the back-story you provided in the first small paragraph, but you could have found an equally logical explanation for other journals to be found. The reason I think that you should have chosen another segment is that at this point in his demonic experience, the narrator seems so passive that I cannot identify with him. A sympathetic character always provokes a greater reaction than an unsympathetic one. He is so far gone that he is hardly human anymore.
But this is just a matter of preference; your intent may not have been to provoke fear.
Regardless of whatever nit-picking criticism I might give, this was a fine treat! I think it was an interesting exercise, and I'd love to see a more conventional work of horror in the future.