I would've liked it more if you hadn't written it so formal and detached, more like covering the news sort of writing.

Nothing touched me or scared me as I read the piece, like I said, it's detached. You know how I heard the voice of the narrator in my head? Normal but with a couldn't-care-less tone.

You could use the last 2 paragraphs to change the story. You could rewrite it from the Godding's point of view. Describe how every man fell (with emotions: fear, horror, sadness) and the things he saw, how everybody treated him and the things you could write are endless.

I feel this has potential. Good luck! :)