Reviews for Marked
MiranDuranDa chapter 17 . 11/30/2016
Are you familiar with the term "Mary-Sue"? It's a character in a story that is without faults. I feel like Cas and Calla are both Mary-Sues. In my humble opinion the story would greatly benefit by introducing flaws to these characters. I found it difficult to believe that Calla would be obviously insulted and threatened and yet find having her guard called "cheap" a grevious enough offense to warrant being disfigured or killed. It doesn't make sense to me.

I have similar difficulties with Cas. The loving older brother who forgave his sister for accidentally crippling him, I believe. Threatening a bodyguard, I believe. Getting off his horse, feeling awkward, and telling people not to bow to him because of his status, that I have trouble with. We haven't seen that anywhere else in the story (in the beginning we saw him in a hall with servants acting deferentially and he was respectful but not embarrassed or excessively humble).

Instances like these rip me out of the story; I can't get immersed in a world when I'm constantly doubting the plausibility of the reactions.
Guest chapter 44 . 5/15/2016
All the men on this story are feckin idiots. They never listen to the women who are clearly always right! Reflects reality perfectly haha.
geeyeahyeah chapter 72 . 10/25/2015
This was a great story! It's one of those that I will definitely pick up and reread again.
geeyeahyeah chapter 46 . 10/24/2015
I am really liking Dante's character change towards Calla. Great story so far! It's so hard to put down!
AlysonSerenaStone chapter 72 . 6/16/2015
Wonderful story! This really is fictionpress fantasy at its best! I really enjoyed your characters and writing. The plot was good too and everything came together in all of the right places. I really liked Dante and Calla-they are the characters that just make sense, you know?

It's so sad to hear to that your story was plagiarized and good luck with publishing!
qpst1235 chapter 72 . 12/11/2014
I love this so much. I don't cry for these kinds of thing but your story brought me close to both tears of joy and sorrow. Even now I can feel a slight burn in on my eyes. Thanks for he good story.
Ayame Yoshida chapter 8 . 7/13/2014
Listening to Fall Out Boy Death Valley and one of the lines in the chorus is "I wanna see your animal side" and I thought it was very ironic. Like the story though, very good.
deets1 chapter 72 . 4/27/2014
This was beautiful. I loved it so much. I've been reading it all day and... I just can't express how much I like it. It's awesome. Thank you for writing this.
HA chapter 69 . 4/16/2014
Well done
SeaBlueRose chapter 68 . 4/6/2014
(I have an account but I‘m too lazy to log in)
This... thus story, can be summed up in one sigle word: masterpiece. And I‘m not joking.
The changes of POWs and scenes were magnificently written, as well as the gradual change in Dante and Calla‘s relationship amd the twists on this story. Also, you avoided the “happy ever after“ ending, which is too cliche and, in my opinion, would make this story a bit... less incredible, we could say. Beacuse not everything can end making everyone happy.
I‘m really glad that I‘ve found this story, and I thank you for writing. Really: thank you very much!
Anyway, to sum all this up: MASTERPIECE! :)
Guest chapter 1 . 1/3/2014
That story was absolutely fantastic! I've been looking for a good story for a long time and this went way beyond my expectations. I couldn't stop reading it! If you ever wanted to be a writer, I say go for it. Your writing style and storyline were interesting and kept me interested the whole time.
Sven Tveskegg chapter 47 . 12/12/2013
A house just left alone does not ring true. Unless people were saint (and they are not) there will be vandalism or burglery, besides an untended house quickly falls into ruins. Perhaps invent an old faithful servant or friend of the family that has tended the place.
fracturedinnocence chapter 12 . 10/14/2013
Oh my gosh i love this story so far! I,m so sorry to hear about the plagiarism though and hope maybe it stays up for a while longer? Oh gosh i will be so distressed if its taken down when im in the middle of it. It's all up to you though, this is a wonderful story
Tofu chapter 46 . 7/31/2013
I apologize, I hadn't reviewed earlier.
It's just that I finally felt the clench. It's a little weird, to say, but when Dante buried his head in his hands, I saw a clear picture. Simple words, but it made my heart wrench all the same. A little awkward to say, but that's what I felt in that moment.
A dark love, that's all I can say. You've painted a dark love.
Beautifully done.
Definitely not sappy or eye-rolling, as you call it.
Iceleaf chapter 72 . 7/16/2013
I liked this story, so I hope you succeed in publishing it.
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