|Reviews for Loving the Black Cat|
| QQ chapter 2 . 3/14/2013
You should label this as tragedy...
| Angel chapter 2 . 10/16/2011
A very nice and beautiful story. The endings quite tragic. I hope that one day Arisa will be able to see Rei again somehow. One of the best stories I've ever read
| mangareaderperson chapter 2 . 5/3/2011
aw... :( ;( :'( T_T
so sad at the end...
but it's so cute me likes it
| starless-knight123 chapter 2 . 4/17/2011
omg i love the story im crying right now... no lye.
| Lee Daniel chapter 2 . 2/17/2010
I have to admit that when I first started reading this, I was not sure where it was going or how it would fit with the theme of the contest. By the end, though, I found it was very fitting indeed. To sacrifice one's self for another is the ultimate display of love and a love between a cat and human is definitely a forbidden love. Well done.
| sophiesix chapter 2 . 2/15/2010
oh sad ending! but sweetly written too, and maybe kinda necessary to balance the happiness in the rest of the story?
There were a couple of places where teh story could have been streamlined to be more powerful, eg her ability to talk to plants doesn't get used, i think, so you could cut that out as distracting, maybe? i'm not sure why seh was ironing clothes that had already been dry cleaned either.
And there were a copule of places where the story could be expanded, eg I also wondering why she liked Japan so much, it doesn't really get explained?
but overall I liked teh lighthearted nature of their relationship, the natural dialogue, and the wish fulfillment! :)
you have some lovely turns of phrase, eg
"it was a cold summer night " i like that, the contrast there combining the heat of summer with the cold of night. but occasionally, you rely a little too much on using adverbs, when using stronger and more descriptive verbs and other language could make the sentence more powerful.
very sweet relationship between these two, and great use of teh bell to link the various sections.. nice job and good luck for teh comp!
| ArmariaSeole chapter 2 . 2/14/2010
Aw...Such a sad ending. I really like the bell idea. I've always been a sucker for animal-to-human changes and the way you made Rei human was really cool. One question: What did she try to grab near the door as the room was burning?
| Anise Cary chapter 2 . 2/14/2010
WOW I did not expect that ending. I like the combination of the last challenge with this one, it made for a wonderful story. I want to cry for Arisa and Rei. Good Job!
| secretsofadarkangel chapter 2 . 2/14/2010
Aw! I loved this chapter!
| secretsofadarkangel chapter 1 . 2/14/2010
When I read this chapter, it reminded me of discrimination. Like how people cannot choose the color of their own skin, same goes for animals.
| Vulpine Ninja chapter 2 . 2/14/2010
The prologue started off just fine.
but then... here comes the question: do Japanese people believe in the black cat superstition too?
This is one problem when you choose Japan as a setting, but you don't know Japan well enough. So, IMHO the sentence where Rei relates his colour with witches is irrelevant.
Do your homework next time... (you could use Maneki Neko or Nekomata instead).
Oh yea, I don't it is necessary to mention her parent's name and the description of her gift. You could just say she's mere psychic, because when you explain a lot about it, it gives the impression that this story will have upcoming chapters.
Hmm, I'm aware that this is like a shoujo manga. Amusement park and humanized animals are typical things in Japanese media. Well, to make a cliche acceptable you have to write it goddamn well. This story lacks intensity, and to be honest i have neutral feelings towards it (neither like nor dislike). If only you'd describe more on Arisa's good qualities because I can't really feel what Rei feels towards her. I can't see why she's worth falling for. she seems pretty normal to me (well my first impression was that she's a good hearted badass). In the end, The sadness of her loss didn't reach me. I think you should put more emotion into the story.
Sorry if I sound harsh, i'm just stating my opinion.
| MiniBlackRaven chapter 1 . 2/11/2010
Interesting beginning to say the least.
Super Special Awesome Happy Critique:
I love the type of perspective you use. Very interesting introduction. It makes me want to read more.
Harsher Critique (read this is you want to improve your writing):
You're cramming a lot of information into one sentence. Try breaking up your ideas a little.
Overall, good start. Keep improving.