|Reviews for Stream in the Snow|
| Louis Denair chapter 8 . 2/27/2010
Very good! Incrementing tempo, gradual unveiling of human drama, sprouting vivid idyll imagery woven into a garland dream of man-made Eden prototype fantasies that are, perhaps, in all of us. Interesting notion, "Each day, I face a new stranger in the mirror" True, somehow, but even in the ever ephemeral 'present' we are supposedly a divergent being, quantum-furcated amber-sealed fossil that dies or falls dormant before we can so much as glimpse our own reflection. Why, just as the long since exploded stars whose late image we view centuries after, so our own image as portrayed by the mirror is indubitably a curiosity of the past.
| Louis Denair chapter 7 . 2/27/2010
'from the limbs that pluck
away her fibers and
claw her skin, her heart,
all: her very soul' Powerful emotions seeping through the always constricting barrier of words. Stirring.
| Louis Denair chapter 6 . 2/27/2010
Ah, to learn French once. It is a language that successfully evaded me, it seems, from school to college, somehow shying as if deeming itself incompatible with the quantum constellation of my soul.
| Louis Denair chapter 4 . 2/27/2010
Ah, the old Pioneer instinct. But what when you reach the coast, o bold settler, wilt thou feel satiated
| Louis Denair chapter 3 . 2/27/2010
"I become the field
of sand you tread your moistened
coral feet upon." You have a talent for coining those deep, sweet ending lines that leave the impression of reading sth profound etc though a little too much of a mood-piece, and too little content.
| Louis Denair chapter 2 . 2/27/2010
Good control and diction. Clear theme, methinks. Longing for innocence gone? Jesus connotations possible, though I doubt that's a valid interpretation. "Tell me the
truth. What are you worth, my lamb?" Makes me think of William Blake's 'The Lamb'. ;)
| Louis Denair chapter 1 . 2/27/2010
I like it how there are two separate running simultaneously here that put together make up independent poems to be read separate while still being interconnected, complementing each other. Maybe reflects the hyper-threaded nature of human conscious. Or maybe it just look provoking. Still.
| Mirabella chapter 4 . 2/12/2010
I like this on, especially the beginning, and confused ending. Plus the naming of each of these as numbers was inspired. :)
| Isca chapter 9 . 2/11/2010
"The walls are crumbling. Mon dieu. I am dimming out." This part of the piece was fantastic. I love your use of French too.
| Isca chapter 8 . 2/11/2010
"I want butterflies atop my eyelids." Wow. This line is absolutely incredible. I'm stunned.
| Isca chapter 7 . 2/11/2010
"She smirks with vigor." Strong image; the child sounds very adultlike.
| Isca chapter 4 . 2/11/2010
"The edge you speak of is not far off." I like the angsty tone of this line.
| Isca chapter 3 . 2/11/2010
"Smothered scum." This is so graphic. I like it.
"Gnawing at the sheet." Strong image. I like the idea that we have the power to free ourselves from societal bonds.
| Isca chapter 2 . 2/11/2010
"Downy atop the roots of a tree." Stunning description; it's so softly spiritual.
"The jasmine leaves." Good.
"Olive lips." Is this a subtle allusion to Jesus?
"Heaving heart." Nice alliteration. The word "heaving" is pretty onomatopoeic too.
"My lamb." Lovely term of endearment.
| Isca chapter 1 . 2/11/2010
"Stir the skin." Such a startling, yet gentle expression.
"Sepia wings." Beautiful description.
"Cluster at the candlelight." I llike both the imagery and the alliteration here. This is my favourite line from the piece.