|Reviews for Twain|
| thePrincessandthePervert chapter 1 . 7/14/2012
A bit confusing at times, but honestly I loved it, and it kept me on the edge of my seat, even if it was just the introduction.
| Ioga chapter 8 . 2/6/2011
Hello again! You know, there aren't cliffhangers in this story so it's seldom necessary to make the cruel puppy eyes of neediness at you for getting updates done on time. Unfortunately for all of us, I guess, if you're looking for a scheduling effect from us. ;)
Judging by the fake license Jacob was waving around the principal it seems likely that last time I got confused by his lack of _P.I._ license, readnig it as a lack of driver's license.
I've been watching the development of the reactions Emma and Jacob towards each other with some confusion. There was major progress done in the latest chapter, where they interacted at length for a first time in either ever or a long time, but before that I've been wondering for many a time whether there is a greater plan or mostly randomness to their attitudes towards each other. Jacob's curtness and annoyedness seems kind of firing off randomly for the most part; I haven't managed to connect to him being like that by nature early on, so I keep getting surprised by his snapping or "snap-like" thoughts.
The cases are amusing, as usual. I was almost certain the eye-less lady would have the mutilated body of her eye thief in her fridge for a moment there. ;) Thanks for this!
| BlackAliceButterfly chapter 5 . 10/31/2010
Somehow, this reminds me of an agatha christie story. it's about a rich man who lived in england. he was walking on the sidewalk one day, and he heard a homeless man play an unearthy tune. So, events follow in which he feels like he wants to be free. eventually he gives up everything, so he is finally free. he encounters the homeless man again and discovers he is a saytr, and he had paid an enormous price to be free.
this is really rather wonderful, though. no crashing of reality- and the boy became a bird- a god in a way. ( I know, way to state the obvious.) but...yeah. I liked it. thanks!
| BlackAliceButterfly chapter 4 . 10/31/2010
Mr. Hitchell was interesting. He was an " Oh" man, sort of a plain white paint spread on a concrete wall. but beneath the wall, there was a harsh grey, scarred and tempting. I imagine that's what drew his wife to him at first- and I think he half-heartedly loved her for a while before he killed her and his child. He left his child in his room though- I feel as if he wanted a reminder of what he did.
| BlackAliceButterfly chapter 2 . 10/31/2010
All I could really think within this chapter was " Love is a sin, cloaked in the arms of a blessing." in short, love is a mixed bag, and it's like a drug that no one truly condemns. you captured the nearly toxic way that Lillian and Michele appeared to love each other.
| Ioga chapter 5 . 10/20/2010
This is a nice collection of detective stories! It just got better as I read it onwards. I think my favourite chapter ordering is 4 (best plot), then 3 - 5 - 2 (I might like it more with a bit more hand-holding towards the end for how the forums, synchronized gay suicides and doll sacrifice were connected "in the background") and 1, most of which I spent rather confused (also partially because I was trying to get used to the story without unnecessary help from things like remembering the summary X-)).
So, it took me a while to figure out the general setup of the stories. As the first story is so different from others and the second is kind of open-ended, I assumed for up until a long way through chapter 3 that the two first cases were somehow connected and would be closed later. Until chapter 3 started the series of clearly closed cases. I was wondering if it'd be easier for the reader if, say, the relatively straightforward murder case from chapter 4 was shifted to be in the second chapter to demonstrate that these are 1) supernatural and 2) one-chapter stories besides the basic concepts that we have two detectives etc. Then introduce more complex concepts like occasional open-endedness in the following chapters.
I'm still kind of wondering if the two have their own special skills, like her actually being more sensitive to supernatural stuff and him, hm, being able to concentrate and do the CSI-onna-computer routines. X-) I have some trouble recognizing Jacob from the first chapter's slumped man description, by the way, he seems younger than the descriptions back there but it's hard to tell. I may have missed some details though, like at some point I could have sworn it was brought up early on that he doesn't have a license, but I guess she definitely doesn't have one and yet they drove the uncle's car over to the copycat house. Maybe it was she who didn't have a license. Oh well, this is what you get for reading a couple of pages at a time. :)
Minor nitpicks: I've spotted two-three times where you write 'to' when there should be 'too' (once in Myriad of a Rose too). Chapter 3 also had one comma missing a trailing space, and 3 or 4 had a 'he' where there should have been 'her' if I recall correctly. Can't remember others for now; generally the language is quite clean and the text flows nicely.
All in all, nice concept and implementation, maybe sometimes the interpretations left to the reader leave the reader boggling but hey, I'm all for literature that doesn't turn off your thinking. It's a welcome change these days, after all. ;)
Thanks for this!
| dawnfire216 chapter 5 . 10/9/2010
Wow... This is truly an awesome story. You get a gold medal, my friend.
And me being all sincere like this also means that this was an extremely good story and the characters are well completed. The only thing that I don't really get is whensome of the mysteries are solved, I don't really know sometimes why the person was killed or whatever. Anywho, nice story, and I like how it's a horror story with a good mystery. I look forward to more updates!
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 3 . 5/17/2010
Sorry this took so long to review. :( I got all askew with time and stuff, what with everything being so close to the end of the school year.
Anyway, I liked this one. It made a lot more sense. I have a feeling that Janelle's boyfriend hit her or something. Maybe that's how she got the doppleganger.
But who killed the guy? The mom? O_O Creepy...
Is the setting for this story modern day era or a more supernatural type of world where anything can happen?
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 2 . 3/2/2010
Is that the end of this mystery? O: I didn't get it. xD Man, these mysteries always mess with my head so bad. There's always a clue somewhere that I don't get right away and it takes me three or four re-reads...
Aah, but it was very interesting. Why is Jacob such a slacker? What made him lose all hope? Is it all these terrible jobs they get? Also, I think Emma's non-chalant way of just assuming position of leader both angers and awes me at the same time.
I'm glad that she's not a dictator, or whatever, but she's way too smug. Aah, but I suppose her choice of career did that to her. Hmm. :
Good chapter. If it's not done, I can't wait for the next one. If it is, can you please explain to me what happened? XD
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 1 . 2/21/2010
Wow. How did they kill her? I don't remember that happening. :/ Do they have powers of some sort?
Private investigators... hmm. A pretty strange pair if I've ever known it.
You know, I really thought Carla was trying to help Jill. That was crazy. I almost didn't know what was going on. I was like, but she's the good guy! D:
I feel so misled. XD
Nice start, very interesting.
| Happy Cereal chapter 1 . 2/14/2010
Really great first chapter. Your writing style is so perfect and unflawed, its crazy to think you're just 15! The mood and the ambience of the story was wonderfully magnetic, and the characters vivid and three-dimensional. Can't wait for the following chapter!