|Reviews for Nochnayia Lubov|
| thewhimsicalbard chapter 40 . 1/24/2011
Now that I'm actually conscious, I'm going to take a serious look at your quality here.
Having said that, I feel like I'd have to be much better with prosecraft than I am to do your story any justice. Your story needs an eye with a better sense for the small nuances of fiction than I possess.
However, I have some skill with voice and phrasing, so I'll see if I can help you out in that regard, at the very least :)
Also, I noticed one thing about your story while I was thinking about it as I fell asleep last night, and I'm not sure if it's a contradiction or not: how exactly does Nikolai know so much about who Nora actually is? Because (correct me if I'm wrong) he is telling the story to Katya in Part 2, correct? Specifically, I'm speaking of Nora's last chapter (hats off to you for killing off a character, btw - hard to do).
If my suspicions are correct, I think you could fix that with a little phrase that goes something like this at the end of Part 1:
"And it was a long story, though one that ran deeper than Nikolai would ever know."
That would put the author in a better position to be omniscient, and though it eliminates the consistency that the story-telling device you have active provides, it also eliminates what can be easily interpreted as a discontinuity by the author.
Ha. There, I think I might have helped with something!
My favorite two parts of this chapter were your description of Nikolai smoking the cigarette, which was simple but did wonders for your scene and for his characterization, and then the italicized bit at the end about the soldiers in their uniforms. That was moving.
Great job Soph! You know, somehow - among all of these fiction writers I'm friends with: you, Em, Liana, and two of my IRL buddies - I'll figure out how to do this thing. I'll write more than the first two paragraphs of this novel yet!
Well, time for class. I'm looking forward to more of this!
| hangover hobby kit chapter 40 . 1/24/2011
Ah thank you for replying to my last review
Not every author does and it's always nice to hear from you guys beyond whatever genius it is you serve up for us avid fans of yours. ]
I love it how you don't shy away from using such descriptive language. Super effective in getting across just the right atmosphere and emotions.
Will be on the look out for what's next as always!
| thewhimsicalbard chapter 39 . 1/24/2011
I just read this entire story in one sitting. I turned off my phone, locked my door, and told my roommate not to bug me, no matter how late it got.
Soph... I don't want to write my novel anymore, because there's no way I can do ANYTHING like this. This is so good. The story is so powerful, the words so eloquently phrased, and the characters so flawless. You've done excellent research, especially in the first few chapters before they left the camp. I've read A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich (sp), and your work was comparable. On so many levels, this story is excellent. I haven't been so thoroughly sucked in to a story as a reader since I read Orwell's 1984 last year. You've done such a fantastic job. I mean wow. I'm struggling for words. Look at me up here, bumbling like an idiot.
It is 3:34 A.M. I will be up at 9:00 for class. The fact that you've managed to keep me up so long speaks volumes for this story. I'll do it justice of a review of your actual writing in the very near future, but I wanted you to know exactly how in awe I am of this work. The emotions in this piece gush. You've captured a sense of hopelessness that most people can't even dream of, and then you have embedded a beautiful romance within it.
You make me feel so delightfully inadequate :) It's a tribute to the quality that this story so delightfully exemplifies. I see levels and layers and a depth of character to this story, I am also quite directly and personally touched by the simple tale on the top. I wonder how you do it... I can see all of your characters. If you ever kill Nikolai, I might never forgive you.
Now, pardon my immaturity, but I want you to understand that there's a very strong, primal, and decidedly not writer-like sensation driving this review:
Um liek OMG tHat wUZ teh moSt AWSUM stoRy evr! Liek plz UpDAte Son!
But seriously. I want to read more of this.
| Tawny Owl chapter 23 . 1/23/2011
Lovely evocative beginning. And a violin case Ah ha! If we hadn’t talked about it before that’s the point that would have clinched it for me. The reasoning it behind her being able to play was convincing as well. It meant it didn’t feel like you’d just pulled a rabbit out of a hat. I can’t remember if you’d mentioned she was a Roma before though?
If she thought about it. So she didn't think about it. – I like the idea here, but the phrasing of this bit doesn’t quite work.
as the hearth fire slowly roasted her feet, - nice.
I like the way Nora’s mother talks. You don’t really tell us what she looks like, but the way she bustles in on a mission gives a strong enough impression.
Nora feels stung a lot in this chapter though, especially by her mother.
Liked the description of the stove, and the significance of the change in languages too. It hadn’t occurred to me that they were speaking Romani first off though.
The first flickerings that Nora may not be able to do the deed either.
Resenting the implication that he must therefore be there for her, - haha, I know that tone of voice.
Nikolai stood in the doorway, looking very surprised indeed at her mother's face. – and I’m very surprised to see him, the crafty stalker.
Nora refused to smile at the thought. – Like this
Behind him, the neighbour screamed at her husband, who squatted in the corridor, semi-conscious with drink. Nora was flooded with the sudden crushing impression that they were Nikolai's fault: that him and his noble, imperialist hegemony were trying to bring her life down from the heavenly arias of her imagining to some more class-appropriate squalor. This is bloody good too.
Nora barely resisted an urge to trow the camera through the window. Or at Nikolai. The problem was choosing which. And this!
"I couldn't remember how to get to your place. I asked around and they said-" Even if he was asking after Katya?
Oh, Nikolai the kicked puppy! I want one.
| lookingwest chapter 18 . 1/22/2011
Once again, this was a fabulous chapter. I feel really lame because I can't give you any criticism to improve this, it's just...excellent. Haha, I mean, if you ever have something you're uncertain about or you want like actual questions answered, let me know straight away and I can help out with opinion, etc. Otherwise, grammatically, spelling-wise, structure, content, plot, setting, you balance everything so well, especially character.
I enjoyed getting back to Nora and seeing the duel problems with being a past Party member and then also having to play the Royal game. It makes me sympathize with Nora, for some reason, and even if not intentional, if I went in disliking Mogilev in this chapter, I ended hating him, haha. You did a great job emphasizing their distate for one another during the talk with the Tsar and then I was surprised to see it break out into an actual physical fight of sorts too!
Loved the little details in this one, like "Nora dragged her glance..." I could visually see that play well. This story always jumps me right into my imagination and constructing these scenes. I'm also very nervous for Nikolai-I mean, we kind of know what happens to him eventually, even further down the line, but seeing this be painfully drug out and explained in depth is hard but necessary. It brings such rich background to his character. I'm very nervous to see what unfolds regarding the use of Kat-I mean, hopefully that's all said and done, but not if she gets manipulated by the Tsar himself! Poor Nikolai!
Poor Nora too...poor everyone! D: I look forward to seeing this unfold, as always. Oh! And I also enjoyed the theme of propaganda in this chapter, and how you brought it up regarding Nora's character several times, it just kept reminding us and the other characters of Nora's past and her loyalties, really helped keep the tension up!
| thefaultinourpatronus chapter 1 . 1/22/2011
Great start! Your descriptions are lovely, and I especially like the interactions between Katya and Eleni! The whole setting is really nice as well, nice first chapter (:
| Punslinger chapter 39 . 1/22/2011
I can perfectly picture the town "pinched in the narrow valley." Great descriptive sentence.
Good chapter, with Katya slowly coming to accept her new life of freedom.
| Punslinger chapter 38 . 1/21/2011
Wow! That is one hot lady. Kolya is a lucky man. I don't know whether to feel relieved that Katya will live, or disappointed that I won't be able to read her tear-jerking death scene.
Why don't you call the foal a colt, since you've made it clear that it is a male?
I thought a kolkhoz was a collective farm established by the communists. Why would it still exist under the restored monarchy?
| 3H chapter 39 . 1/21/2011
Oh my goodness gracious!Two chapters in one day? YAY! I LOVE YOU, thanks so much for not teasing me. Everything I was going to say was beautifully sumed up in the chapter. You described everything as I would have,Katya leaving her past behind with the spirits of her fellow zek and she seeing things in a new light. Being in a town, FREE instead of a prisoner, after five years is going to be difficult for her. Sadly, she'll always feel like a zek. Though, it was wonderful for her to think of Koyla as Koyla and not some guard she was traveling with. So I hope this is leading in the direction of how Katya ended up in a labor camp. ANd Hallelujah! They made it to a town!
Since you did this for me, I'll be patient and wait for the next chapter. THANKS SO MUCH!
| lookingwest chapter 17 . 1/21/2011
...and Sir sometimes. Twice, Sire had come. ...
-Are "Sir" and "Sire" the same character? Or are they different? It's a little confusing here because you say that Sir didn't come that often, but then that Sire had only come twice-which doesn't seem often to me...so that implies it's the same character right off the bat, though I'm aware there's a bit of clarification earlier. At first it was a bit disorienting. Especially since you refer to both spelling through the entire first part-and even if they are clarified two separate characters, the spelling so close to one another is something I found distracting-though that's again, more personal opinion Knowing you, you've got a good reason why they're that way, haha, so I trust you.
I loved that ending, the way that you make the photograph come to life for Dima was great, and I loved his characterization of resourcefulness when it came to the hairpin, that hinted at background that I think is essential for us knowing more about Dima bit by bit. The dialogue of Dima was well done, I think it was realistic, and I loved his conversation with Sir the best, in that second part-your work really highlighted there. A short chapter, but with great implication and a great end-point full of suspense!
| 3H chapter 38 . 1/21/2011
Thanks for answering the questions to my last review. I swear to you this story gets better and better! What a way to start my weekend. It seems things have come full circle, or semi-circle? Katya took care of him when he was injured and he has taken care of her. I loved it! I'm trying to understand Katya's thinking. I suddenly became confused with everything by her reaction to Koyla's news of pressing forward. Did I miss something? Was she angry cause, she was ready to die with Nikolai as her own, away from everything without a care in the world? Hmm... -Or- Is she angry because now, she has to face her uncertain future, she has to worry about what will be? And when she said, uhm... "You made me hope." Was that because she hoped for death, or she now has the warmth of hope in her soul, because she's no longer dying, because he held onto hope for both of them, (the way a significant other should) By her sudden attack, I'm thinking she has hope for the future now. Reassure me that that's what's going on, I want to fully understand. I'll re-read it, that might do the trick.
And boy is she jealous of the attention the little foal's gettin. But now we know how gentle and nurturing Nikolai is. Poor guy want a kid with Katya, because he loves her. Damn it! I want to hear them tell each other they love one another. Now you better hurry up and update by... oh lets say five minutes ago. My mind will be so consumed by this story that I might go insane and be sent away to a psych ward.I love you so much for writting this story!
| Michael Howard chapter 37 . 1/18/2011
Survivor guilt, huh? Not surprising given what Katya has been through lately. But I really like them as a couple and hope they have much more of a future than she thinks they do.
| NinaBinaBallerina chapter 37 . 1/17/2011
love love love. This is the best story I have ever read on this site. very professional and beautiful. I love how you changed the history of Russia a little, gives a new edge to the romance,
| Punslinger chapter 37 . 1/16/2011
Aww, you had to go all female on us-switching from fascinating character and action episodes to a long drawn-out death scene. Well, after all, it is a Russian tragedy and since there's no railway platform for her leap from a la Anna Karenina, Katya is free to milk her role for all she can get out of it.
Hurry up. I'm eager to learn what happens next.
| hangover hobby kit chapter 37 . 1/16/2011
Can't believe I've caught up with this story now.
I'm constantly surprised by the amount of superb writing that fictionpress members are able to produce. This is undoubtedly one of them.
Looking forward to more from Katya and Kolya.