Reviews for Nochnayia Lubov
Michael Howard chapter 32 . 12/19/2010
I wish I had the skill with words to proper describe your skill with words. All I can say here is that reading your work is like watching a parade of disparate mankind marching along the street. This is the complete opposite of escapist fiction. The reader sees him or herself in every scene, the triumphs, the abject failures, the chaotic randomness of human existence.

Superbly done.
this wild abyss chapter 4 . 12/17/2010
So I really liked your use of paralellism in the first paragraph. You didn't overdo, but what you did use was perfect. I thought that was brilliant. And that brings me to another topic. I love your style in this. It's bare, almost stark, but it works. You don't waste time with any useless descriptions, but the image is still there. You don't go into great detail, but what you give the reader is enough. In a way, I think this writing style perfectly echoes the plot, if that makes sense. Like, Katya and Nikolai's situation is represented in the scarcity of your words. Hmm, that doesn't sound flattering, but I promise that I mean it only in the best of ways.

I also enjoyed the way you introduced Nikolai's name. It was simple and to the point, no games or coy tricks. Just, "My name is Nikolai." And that was it. Wonderful! But having said that, I think what you should have done was start it off by Katya thinking of him solely as 'her officer' not just 'the officer'. You started to do that a little, but I think it could have been more effective if you made her think of him only in that way for a while, and then introduced his name, which would have thrown her for a loop, but then she'd start thinking of him as 'her Nikolai' eventualy. (Obviously this is several chapters down the line)

Hmm, another thing I felt was absent was Nikolai mistaking Katya for his former love or pretending that. I mean, he hasn't seemed to have had that breakthrough moment, so it just seems natural that he would continue to have trouble differentiating between the two women until that climactic moment. Heh, that's just what I think, though.

But it was still a beautiful chapter, as always.
this wild abyss chapter 3 . 12/17/2010
Man, I have a hard time coming up with critiques for this - it's just so different and brilliant at the same time, ya know?

Anyway, like you mentioned earlier, I think that it would be better for you make a few more references to the passing of time, because at this point, I don't know how long Katya and the officer have known each other, or how long it's been since the explosion. I mean, I would have thought that eventually the superiours would have figured out that Katya was there, since I the Party would let the guards be completely unsupervised. So yeah, a few mentions on elapsed time would be good. Another thing, which sort of indirectly stems from the lack of definite time-referencing, is the fact that based on this chapter, Katya seems to have gotten over the others' deaths fairly quickly. Now, I obviously know that she wouldn't have done that, but because of the lack of time referencing, I got that impression at first. I mean, I'd understand her ability to move on at a faster pace after everything she's been through, but still. But that's pretty much the only thing wrong with this plot.

I really like how you characterize the officer. I've mentioned it before, but the way you omit his name gives him an added weight, as we have to know him by what he does and not what he's called. That makes you as the author pay more attention to his developement, which then benefits readers. I especially liked how at times his mannerisms border on the insane, then the next moment he is incredibly tender, even if he's pretending that Katya is someone else. My favourte was when he called her 'Katyushka'. I love that about the Russian language, the way they turn a name into an endearment so cleverly. And not only did that name bring out the authenticness of this story, it showed more of the officer's personality and ability to love.

Oh, one other thing I noticed. You started out the chapter with a full paragraph of secon-person narrative, but then rather abruptly switched to third. I'd suggest either cutting that start out (beautiful and deep as it was) or rewording it so it matches the rest of the chapter.

But this story is absolutely amazing in all other respects. You have a real winner here.
Nika chapter 4 . 12/14/2010
just a little fun fact. My sisters name is Ejkaterina, and her husband... none other then a man named Nikolai. katya and kolya. i had to giggle at this.

also, as a russian reading this. its awesome. ive just found my self reading parts, like later on at the Winter Palace, which i have visited. and i can just imagine it so clearly and vividly, you have painted the scenes and settings just right. and great little ways of using words like samovar. great story!

Punslinger chapter 33 . 12/14/2010
An engrossing chapter, full of sharply etched action and breath-holding hints of dire events to come. Don't keep us waiting too long.
this wild abyss chapter 2 . 12/14/2010
The fact that you don't give this officer a name is a good technique. By not having a name to pin him with, readers have to know him by his actions and words. Does even Katya know his name? If she doesn't that would just accentuate the baseness of her relationship with this man, though obviously she is beginning to feel something, otherwise I doubt she would be daydreaming during their intimacy. Though it's a little early in the story to know for sure, I think that you might possibly be moving a little fast. But as I said, this is only the second chapter, and I won't know for sure until then. But on the whole, this is wonderful. I really like your character's personalities. Their actions and reactions all seem believable and understandable, even Olga's. You've done an excellent job here of showing both sides to the story.

I will definitely be continuing this in the near future.
this wild abyss chapter 1 . 12/14/2010
I can't believe that I've never found this before now. This time period and setting has always been intriguing to me, and you portray it so well. I loved the baseness of these characters' emotions and how realistic they seemed to be. That straighforwardness was brilliant, I thought. The appearance of the dog, Olaf, was great as well. He was a nice way to break up some of the tension shown throughout this chapter, and I've always been rather partial to dogs.

Great hook for the novel!
Frayling0 chapter 1 . 12/14/2010
A new story :) This caught my eye because I love Russia - Russian culture, history, language. All of it is so beautiful and elegant to me. The opening was a really unique way to introduce Katya, so kudos for that. Lines like 'Arctic wind' and her obvious desire for warmth played with my senses well. I felt sorry for her... that officer using her vulnerability. Her situation seems pretty bleak though I get the impression she's going to be a strong character. He seems to need to her though, you got that across well with his 'desperation'. I also love the developing of this relationship... what started as something sexual or as a trade, has turned into something more deep seated. Your scenes and characters are very real as always. Great work on transporting me to Russia! I can't wait to read more :) ~ Luke
Tawny Owl chapter 19 . 12/13/2010
So I’m guessing Nora is Katya? Or pretending to be Katya if she’s been stringing him along, but I’m not sure how she’s made the switch. She’d need the help of the chorus girls wouldn’t she? And I guess if she is Katya that’s the secret she is hiding from her employer.

Nora’s confidence really shone through here too. What with the jacket over her shoulder I could easily imagine her having a bit of a strut.

She perched one hand on her out thrust hip, waving the other by his face like an actress. – nice image, but where’s her jacket gone?

Mogilev maybe introduce him sooner. Obviously Nora would see the Tsar first but I get the impression the man has a presence like treacle. You can never quite get rid of it and he’d look up as she came in which would draw attention to him.

That’s interesting, I’ve never really thought of the Tsar as attractive before, just kind of pale and sickly. I identify with Nora’s desire fro what she can’t have, but maybe take the opportunity to show more of him from her eyes. Is there anything physical she finds attractive about him?

I like the image of a dog guarding a bone. I’m guessing the bone is the Tsar? It’s too protective to apply to Nora, but maybe put something in Mogiley’s movement. Or maybe put his movement and his eyes not leaving Nora the other way around to make it clearer? I had to think about it.

Nora turning her forced position against the wall to something sultry though was brilliant.

I’m starting to enjoy Nora and Mogliey’s little spats. There’s still a danger in them because I’m never sure who is going to come out on top.
Narq chapter 33 . 12/13/2010
Grr~ i don't know whether to hate or love Nora and the Tsar here. I love/hate how well you can write your characters, how much you can turn me around your pinky! :D
Michael Howard chapter 33 . 12/13/2010
"piles of folds" seems a bit clunky here, at least by the standard of your silky prose, but unfortunately I don't have a better suggestion to make. And having silence repeat in lines seven and eight borders on redundancy. Perhaps the first instance could be switched to 'enough' or even the ever popular 'shut up.'

There are some powerful, suprising moments presented in this installment, and plenty of unanswered questions. Just how badly hurt is the Tsar? Will Dima get away? And even, is Russia ready for Tsarina Anastasia?

As always, looking forward to the next installment.
3H chapter 33 . 12/13/2010
Hm... short chapter but no lack of suspense. I wonder what is going to happen to Nora, now that she aided Nikolai in Dima's escape. No doubt the Tsar would want her killed. But I'm jumpin the gun, has Koyla even escaped yet? I can't wait for the next chapter and I'm so glad we're gonna get to Katya and Koyla soon.
daydee chapter 33 . 12/13/2010
very interesting chapter
Punslinger chapter 32 . 12/12/2010
"He knew his grandfather's limits. Nikolai did not yet know his own."

Great lines; full of ominous foreboding. If we didn't already know about Nikolai's fall from tsarist grace and exile to a distant labor camp, this would prepare us for it. You should write more like this-taut sentences rich with meaning.

Another good chapter revealing your protagonist's hubris that will carry him to his inevitable tragic fate.
3H chapter 32 . 12/12/2010
Yay, everythings coming together, perfectly. Ya know? I've had a horrible week, so do you know how happy I am that you updated? It seems like it's been forever since your last update. I thought it was so cute how Dima thinks of Nikolai's family as his own, and now, I feel a storm brewing. I want to let you know this is the only story I STARVE for...So I'm hoping for a speedy update.

P.S. Katya and Nikolai back in the cabin, have been on my mind through out this entire story.I think I asked once whether or not Katya was going to pass or not. I can't remember if you answered, so I presuming not, and that's okay. I guess I was just wondering how many more chapters we were going through until we return to the couple. It's eating away at me. All I'm hoping is that Koyla's story will keep her stimulated, as if everyday is another turn of a novel's page and she has to get to the ending. But I hope the finale of his story doesn't mean she's ready to let go and give up on life. I'm praying Koyla better explains why he's over Katya/Nora and that his strong love for her, gives her more of reason to fight and survive. Through all this suffering, I need a happy ending for these two. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! Don't let Katya die.

Anyways, I'm truly excited for the next chapter!
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