|Reviews for Nochnayia Lubov
| Narq chapter 32 . 12/12/2010
masquerade costume unmasked her true character.
- love the juxtopositioning there!
A chilling chapter, really.
Everything nearly ties together, and it leaves little time to draw breath. Poor Nikolai, here, he seems so young and naive! :(
| Michael Howard chapter 32 . 12/12/2010
"Perhaps this would in their favour, Nora thought."
"Now, quickly, were going to-"
we're (which is extremely picky but hey, you leave very little to pick about in your work 8-)
A longer wait than usual for this installment but I've been mollified once more by excellent passages like "He knew his grandfather's limits. Nikolai did not yet know his own."
Terrific bit of writing there, evocative and yet with a hint of foreboding.
Appropriate I think because it's about to all come crashing down for this cast of characters.
| Tawny Owl chapter 18 . 11/29/2010
Oh good, I was wondering where Dima had got to, and how he was going fit into all this.
It didn't look exactly like a prison. – but he knows it is a prison. I like that.
Are sir and sire the same person? I wasn’t a hundred per cent sure if they were two people or a typo. No, two people. Maybe give them a more immediate physical distinction in Dima’s eyes to separate them more.
Matron’s toilet training sounds a horrendous idea, but Dima is so matter of fact about it. Bless him.
It was Nurse that called him Sir. Dr Chelyadin, sometimes, but usually Sir. –ah all starting to come together now.
Bless Dima, I don’t think anyone else really appreciates how confused and alienated he must feel.
And Kolya doesn’t even know he’s Dima’s friend. Is that why Dima was staring at him in the corridor? I think I remember that happening earlier on.
Hehe – I liked it when he exchanged a look with Kolya. And the way that Dima thinks of the picture and the palace as another orphanage.
Nice to be back with these guys!
| 3H chapter 31 . 11/23/2010
Hm...It seems like Nikolai's about to get Katyushka into heeps of trouble. I wonder if her attempt to get ahead as a musician is going to cost her, her life? Hurry and update!
| Chasmira chapter 6 . 11/21/2010
Still a beautiful read! I know I am to be critiquing you, but it truly is excellently written; I'll return later, and do keep up the great work!
| Punslinger chapter 31 . 11/20/2010
You are still doing a fine job of keeping us interested in the characters by expanding their personalities a little more with each chapter.
Just a few minor items. In the first paragraph: "...a thought he was clinging onto to get him through the night." That's pretty awkward. Maybe something like "...a thought he embraced to help him get through the night."
"Alexie tried to not to wish he would hurry." -paragraph 15.
"Damn Fascists. The would not have dared..."
Why did you use "Parliament" instead of "Duma?"
| Chasmira chapter 4 . 11/20/2010
So far, I must say this is truly one of the BEST works I have ever read online. It truly reads like a published work; each word is perfect, the language beautiful, the characters so very real. I will certainly return to read more; thanks so much for sharing, and do consider publishing in the future!
| Michael Howard chapter 31 . 11/20/2010
"There is on one to carry on your legacy... "
It took a bit of googling to uncover the meanings for Gospadzin and Maslenitsa. I know there are pseudo historians out there who throughly overdo the annotation thing (raises hand guiltily) but, speaking for myself at least, I won't feel like my intelligence is being insulted by the occasional translation assist. That said however, your oh so credible use of Russian words and customs really do add to the authenticity of this work.
And for that matter, where in the world did you come by your knowledge of hemophilia medical symptoms and complications? It's not exactly a common disease but you seem to have a text book familiarity with the condition. Kudos!
Absolutely fascinating plot twist this time around. Will you be turning the novel into (Wo)manhunt (apologies to Geoffrey Household 8-) with Nora stalking the German Gospadzin up and down the streets of Berlin?
Probably not, but as always, I am eager to see what does come next.
| Narq chapter 31 . 11/20/2010
Uh oh... not good.
(just wondering, why wouldn't Nora be there in the first place?)
In the lapping light of the hearth
- I like. "lapping" wonderful~
Out of sight, out of mind.
- this is possibly a very very very nickity pickity thing. Do you think "out of sight" is enough? It indicates "out of mind" as well.
Anastasia could not be risked in a pregnancy.
- this is a bit weird because first she can't be risked in a pregancy and then later you say if something happens about her it doesn't matter because they've got the boy. You'll need to work your way around that.
he felt it necessary to clarify
- the he here is alexei, right?
"There is on one "
- there is only one?
Yay, some reading to hungered, poor Narq!
| Michael Howard chapter 30 . 11/15/2010
"The musician began to keep time with the ever-quickening beat of his song, slapping at the wood of his instrument as he slang."
SANG not slang
Another good installment here although tempered by my fear that Comrade Eisenstein might never have been able to create "Alexander Nevsky" in this alternate Russia of yours.
So, will there be one Katyushka too many at the party tonight?
As always, looking forward to what comes next.
| Drowning In Darkness chapter 11 . 11/14/2010
I really enjoy this story. I can not wait to read more
| Punslinger chapter 30 . 11/13/2010
I like the chapter title. Will the orchestra be playing Stravinsky's music at the Maslenitsa Ball?
Most of this flows well,with a few discordant notes. "...enspelled his people." I don't think I've encountered that word before. How did you mean it-enchanted? enthralled? enslaved?
"...each breath began to stab too cold inside him." seems rather awkward.
"...an undeniable tough of magic..." Maybe the magician was a tough guy.
"...slapping at the wood of his instrument as he slang." Did he Sling a Slong of Slixpence?
| Narq chapter 30 . 11/13/2010
reading reading reading reading. I'm deprived of reading and you post this! wonderful!
Alexei was determined to understand, to avoid that trap. His thoughts had turned more than once to the new security agent. Nora. Perhaps she could help in this task… But he knew he could not expose his weakness to a potential enemy. The journey was his alone.
- this is interesting. His weakness if obviously the haemaphellia (excuse my spelling) but why would she have to know that to be included in the task?
I still love the Scarlet or Vermillion. Shows how simply bloody rich Pasha is.
Ah, is this the first time you mention that "his" Katyushka isn't the same as Katyushka? It's a good place to put the hint though.
| Michael Howard chapter 29 . 11/8/2010
Good chapter and an intriguing set of photographs, although I wish they were bigger and individually labeled. Have pity on your more youth-challenged readers plagued with bad eyes and worse memories!
| Narq chapter 29 . 11/7/2010
re your question to me, I think what you've got now is good. I like the "The boy's lack of reproach sent guilt spiraling into Chelyadin's gut. He took out the iodine and collecting jars in shame-laden silence."
And I really don't know whether to hate the Tsar or feel sorry for him. You're awful this way, you know? ;)