Oh my gosh, I love this story.

"His grandfather was so very right in staying he should not have come."

SAYING he should not have come...

Very glad to see this one finally get updated although the gap of time - and my poor memory - meant a brief feeling of disorientation at the start. And even a second reading of some of the earlier chapters does not allow me to completely reconcile the Nikolai of Part One with the young man on display here. (Is a Counter-Counter Revolution coming?)

But lines like "a conveyor belt of servants" and "But the child came with them" are certainly enjoyable scenery for the ongoing journey.

Very good plot development and character relationships. I don't know if you had all of these people and events in mind when you first started writing about Katya, or if they just came to you as you went along. But they all flow together smoothly. The little orphan boy and the hint of "experiments" arouses creepy suspicions, like Pavlov's conditioned dogs? I'm eagely looking forward to learning more.

Your title doesnt make sence it should be Nochnayia Lubov...Im russian just wanted to let you know

"The meaning of this hit him suddenly.(maybe :?) I must be in the Tsar's private wing." - I think the semi-colon might work better?

"The car drove on, distancing them from the Palace til it was lost behind them. But the child came with them. He clung to Nikolai's thoughts and would not let go." -shiver, so very good.

Now that I've finally had time to read all of this, I am greatly impressed by your storytelling skill. I felt that Nikolai's character was pretty shallow compared to Katya, but by filling in his background you are making him more substantial.

The counterrevolution removing Stalin and restoring Russia's nobility was a surprising shift into fantasy or supernatural genre. I can't tell yet how well you will pull it off, but it's an interesting twist. And you have a fine-tuned sense of aristocratic refinement, e.g. "The carriage clock ticked discreetly on the mantelpiece, diplomatically filling the silence so awkwardness could not enter."

As for "purging" the titled heads-I think that term wasn't used until later when Stalin started cleansing the Party of members whom he suspected might threaten his power, and everyone who supported them. The number of victims is still uncertain, but it foreshadowed the Nazi death camps.

P.S. It's nice to encounter someone who is also familiar with Lermontov's novel.

Excellent job of establishing background atmosphere and characters. More details might help, e.g. the unsanitary latrine, particularly in winter when the frozen ground makes digging toilet holes nearly impossible.

Drinking kvas - good touch. You could mention that the alcohol made Katya tipsy, as she was unused to drinking.

Some small mistakes: "...the officer that guards her." I would use "who" when writing about people. "That" seems inhuman. In Paragraph 6; "...focused entirely focused on the crust." is redundant. Paragraph 13; "The soldiers...his rank." Should be "The soldier" if it's only one person.

You're an amazing writer; you seem to have a pretty good knowledge of history (or at least of what its like in Russia), and you're able to use details without going overboard. The characters seem very well developed and realistic, as does their situation and surroundings.

Good job!

I did like the explanation of Russian nomenclature quite a bit. It certainly does make sense.

What is less clear in my mind is how we will get from the Nikolai of Chapters One through Seven to the young man presented here.

I guess the old phrase "Therein lies a tale" certainly applies in this case 8-)

"The blade, a bullet: these were two good for the impure of blood and soul."

TOO good.

At this point I'm confused about why the old Chapter Eight is now the new Chapter Nine, but I guess that's because I don't yet recognize the importance of what was presented in the new Chapter Eight.

Ah well, reading on.

Yup, that makes sense. Absolute sense, and now let's get on with the story, shall we?

:wink:

You know too much girl. It's scary how vivid your writing is, like your doing this whole history rewrite for peole who can't bear history (including me).

Good chapter. I don't think there was any problems with it except this:

"He spat her name" - he didn't say her name. he said "..for HER to clean up."

XD

Narq.

It was the next day that they brought the explosives to the camp.

-Edit: I'd replace "that" with "when"

Sophie, gez, your knowledge of this is extraordinary. I feel like you know exactly what you're talking about. When you describe things I can see it! I took a course on this, and I still don't think I know enough to ever sit down and write a story with such a setting that's completely out of my comfort zone. You've taken "write what you know" and really turned the tables...this whole scene with the explosives arriving and the organization of the quotas that need to be filled and the cord cutting-extraordinary detail!

And bless your heart for not going into a terrible dream sequence. And doubly for not ending the chapter with the unconsciousness, as I always have a terrible habit of doing, XD.

Ah, this is unbearably sad D,: I like that you use the word "wailing" though because I can really hear it, and I think it's a unique description not often used. And geez, thank God for Olaf...what and odd thing for me to say...XD

"It is not I that is saving you. It's you that is saving me."

-Nice turn here, I like how you still keep her in a strong position.

Great ending too-sort of reminds me of this month's WCC prompt ;) Into the wilderness-I feel like after taking that course on Russia that I have little faith they'll survive, but I want to stay optimistic. Given the terrible beginning of this chapter I'm glad that it turned the tables and ending on a more happier image.

I really like the way you integrate those crazy dream parts with the reality, it's like she interchanges between the two so smoothly it's not that big of a deal. It's always fun to read, anyways.

This chapter reminded me so much of Yuri and Lara in Dr. Zhivago. It's like the time spend in this little sanctuary isn't going to last, so you want them to make the most of it, almost. Her conviction that she's dying is freaky. I mean it could happen, probably will, but I dunno, it's sad.

It's all sad. And you've done a great job in painting their surroundings, describing the snow in a melancholy way, it was very tragic, but beautiful as well.

Haha, I actually cried out in horror. Olaf! No!

You have a skill for misery, for conveying it. Goodness, that was depressing. Poor Nikolai! I liked this:

'They were sounds an animal would make, not a man. Not an officer. Not her officer.' It's awful to imagine Nikolai in such a dependent position now, what is she going to do!

I'm sorry, my reviews are getting steadily worse. I just have to know what happens lol.