Reviews for Nochnayia Lubov
Tawny Owl chapter 53 . 6/12/2011
BL? you have an offer for thsi story. Oh, very cool.

It seemed strange that Syvbs can be smelt out by her brother - but it does kind of illustrte both that he knows her thought process, and that while she's excited and throwing herself in, he's striding around with an unpleasant look on his face.

Loving the detail of his disguise only working up to a point as well.

I wonder if Shvybs realised exactlt the position she was putting her brother in? Or whetehr she thought it was worth it to get him out of the palace? I don't think she's selfish enough to run off just becaus eshe wants too - she loves him too much.

There was lost of wonderful description in this too - from the gypsy with pinning eye s to Shvybs big entrance. It didn't feel as rushed as some bits do.

I do love Shvybs - that ending was perfect.

I did like Alexei getting caught with his hand on Nora's cheek though.
Tawny Owl chapter 52 . 6/12/2011
The intricate wooden floor rolled beneath a monstrosity – I had to think about this a few times, but when I got it everything just clicked. Really clever bit of description.

I wish I had a Chelyadin somewhere – he’s like a sensible, kindly old uncle. But a bit sneaky as well. In the conversation with the Tsar it did feel like he manoeuvred it round to Nora quite skilfully.

And Nora coming over all coy, still not quite used to that, but it does show how strongly she feels about the tsar.

And there Alexei goes again, being all complex and interesting. Interesting bill for him to want to pass though, makes me think more of his own fear than that he just wants to build a perfect race. Although they do go together in this case.

Knobbly hand s- I like that detail. Not all strong shoulders and firm jaws.

Not sure I like the idea of the room aching with emptiness though – although I get what you’re trying to say, it just makes it feel impersonal to Nora, which weakens it.

Even Mogilev couldn't find you. It's…. well. You gave him a scare, that's all. Let's just leave it at that." – stipulate the him is Alexei – I thought Mogliev at first, and I can’t imagine him being scared of much.

Chelyadin suspects, methinks.

Lava and ice – nice.

It feels like, in this chapter, you put the most time into the bit with Anastasia and Shvybs. The beginning of it felt more well rounded. I think you need to be consistent with what you call the characters in the text though. It seems ok to call her Shvybs when we’re in Alexei’s pov because that’s what he thinks of her as, but when you change it to Anastasia it disrupts his perspective and makes it feel like the voice has changed – If that makes any sense? I think what I’m trying to say is that you can right third person from one character perspective and still get a really good sense of their voice and who they are depending on the language you use, and it also contributes to setting and atmosphere. It feels like you are doing it sometimes, but it’s not always consistent. Ok, stopping the rambling now.

Wouldn’t Alexei have to be a bit more careful when he undressed as well?

Anyway, lovely end. I love that Shvybs is rebelling, but inviting him to rebel with her.
Tawny Owl chapter 51 . 6/12/2011
Really confusing myself as I think I've been reading ahead without reviewing again.

I liked the way you started the chapter with the word pain, but after that you used it quite a bit in short succession which weakened it a bit for me.

The idea of Mogliev hanging around for the right moment to pop Nora off is a frightening one. i think it's the calmness you convey in him that does it. Really brings it home that he does this sort of thing on a regular basis.

Nora's face hung lifeless - love that description. It conveys a real sense of exhaustion.

Nurses get to talk to doctors like that? Even fake ones? Still, yay though, as much as I don't sympathise with Nora, if Mogliev is going to kill her I want to see her in a position to fight back. Far mor satisfying.

Strangely I'm having a lot of sympathy for the Tsar at the moment. Maybe because he's being such a boy about Nora and not using her name (the way you phrased that was perfect) but it is very humanising. I know I say that a lot, but I think in this whole story I've found Alexei the most complex and intriguing of the characters. Possibly because, although he doesn't have the most to fight against, he has the most variety, so we get to see him in a lot of different roles.

Poor boy thinks he’s been used ? That’s exactly the boyish sort of behaviour I’m loving at the moment.

Kind of strange thinking of Mogliev as actually having an office, or a place to chill. I know I’ve said I was curious, but part of Mogliev’s unpleasantness is that he has this whole detached, hired robot thing going on. Having him appear more human adds to his disturbing nature in some way. Maybe because it’s easier to think of him as a robot than an actual person?

Let’s give her what she wants – so generous!

When you say Mogliev is too close for comfort it feels a bit like a pov change to Fima. Mogliev probably thinks he can’t get close enough. Fima’s reactions were really genuine though. I liked how you handled them. And the practicality of her despite making it clear that she’s not happy with what’s going on was very real.
thewhimsicalbard chapter 53 . 6/11/2011
A perfect ending. Gawd I love how you do that!

Here's what was happening to me:

*gasp* SHE SAID SHE LOVES HIM!

buh-bum, buh,bump, buh-bump...

*hug occurs*

DAWWWWWWW!

:)

That was all kinds of powerful-yet-adorable.

Question: where did the gypsies come from? And how are you going to pull all of these plots together? I think we're on something close to twelve now... I haven't seen half of them in many many chapters *ahem*

Can't wait to see the next chapter though. Should be very nice. I'm going to guess at least three chapters until we can get back to Nikatya... I miss those times. I seriously just went back and reread all of the original intro.

Nice to have you back though, Soph!

:)

Everything else is flawless as always. I don't think you've lost any skill in your absence. Your language is beautiful, and you write this perfect stuff like it's nobody's business. I gave you a facebook referral today too. I'm just standing here being a fanboy!

-twb
3H chapter 53 . 6/11/2011
YAAAAYYYYY! Do you know how happy I am that you posted? It's been to long, but I hope your traveling was eventful and fun! Anyways, I am smiling and am so happy for your publishing offer. Congrats. Now this means you're not going to post the rest about Koyla and Katya? :( Welp, I'm going to have to wait longer than I hoped. Which sucks, but I am so happy for you! Also I'm getting to attached to Nora and Alexi, they don't seem like the villians any longer.
SapphireaAarelNikolaenva chapter 52 . 6/10/2011
I love this story alot defiantely the one with Alexei and is just brilliantly wriiten.
Michael Howard chapter 52 . 6/7/2011
"When Nora woke, it was afternoon, and the Tsar was at her widow staring out at the world he never seemed to go outside and join."

Window

Another enjoyable chapter (of course) with a fun little hook there at the end. Your Anastasia is so endearing!
Tawny Owl chapter 50 . 5/22/2011
Ah! Mogilev has his revenge. I thought you could have taken your time with it a bit more though. It seemed a bit impoersonal, but given the loathing he has for Nora, and his love of the Tsar, I dunno, more of a sense of a job well done, or more of a rush for him. Do you get what I mean?

Loved the description of the dark smile though. That gave me such a strong mental picture.

Loving Chelyadin too - and was very relieved by the Tsar's reaction to thinking about Nora. It feels much more true to his character that he'd resent the way she has made him lose control of his own thoughts and fight against that. And that he's thought of the practicalities of it too.

The bit with the photo was quite amusing too - although giving chelyadin the chance to see it did remind me a bit of a boy's locker room at school.

Intriguing hints of the space programe though. are we going to see more of that?
Punslinger chapter 52 . 4/30/2011
I guess we can expect some surprising plot twists to come from the Tsar and his sister going public in peasant drag. But her ultimatum seemed to come too abruptly out of nowhere, and it's unlikely that he wouldn't have other henchmen than Mogilev to stop her.

It's good to learn that Nora is recovering so nicely, and still working to hook the Kingfish.
3H chapter 52 . 4/30/2011
Yay! I always get so excited when you update. I'm so glad Chelyadin stood up to Alexei about the sterilization. For as arrogant the Tsar seems he has the lowest view of himself. As in, he has high self confidence but no self esteem. Did he want Nora sterilized? I'm sure he was thinking it. And good for Shvybs, but I fear that only drama will come from them wandering a street fair. Can't wait for the next update.
Tawny Owl chapter 49 . 4/30/2011
late night addition to his exercise schedule. mwhaha. Beautiful. I liked the details of the morning after pain as well. it was there but not too much. It kept it all in perspective.

Liked the practicalities too. and that she's swearing in front of him. Despite Alexei wanting to keep the magic going a little longer they start off being quite domestic.

The widely scattered clothes though seem out of place with how careful they would have had to be though. It conjures up images of them being torn off and flung all over the place. And I wouldn't have thought that'd be practical?

The image of Nora hoping about though was a good one. As is Alexei in a clown suit and all the servants hovering outside the door. And Mogliev. Haha. Nora's hesitance was unexpected though. I thought, having been caught she would have brazened it out and strode past?

She studied him like he was mystery just for the pleasure of her solving nice.

So's the next bit about the flexed eyebrow. I do like Shvybs. I think she keeps Alexei grounded in many ways. And how do you pronounce her nickname? I've been making a fool of myself trying it out.
Tawny Owl chapter 48 . 4/30/2011
She's not even a little bit put out that Mogilev has kept her waiting? Or it just goes to illustrte how het up she is about the Tsar.

I like Dima's apperance, rather like a rabbit out of a hat. Although I think you could have made either more of that, or Nora's reaction.

And does the elderly man acknowledge Nora? Or does he just cut her in the interests of self preservation?

Oh gosh. If she is leaping to conjectures like that she really has got it bad. She's two mood swings away from being a bit of a bunny boiler. But I like the way there is enough of the old Nora left to approach him as a play. Something she can work at and manipulate.

Frustration ground her breath into a groan. Liked this. And Alexei seems all most playful in the next bit. Which is nice, but kind of strange too.

I suppose you do eat, at some stage - and he teases! I can almost forget he's teh Tsar at the moment. And Nora's wariness continues to show that love hasn't changed her that much. Which is kind of comforting.

face infuriatingly impassive. - maybe mention the blankness of his face before this. the lightness of the dialogue makes him seem more open.

His eyes met hers. She drowned - Nice. Not a new idea, but great way of expressing it.

"Nora, you know you are beautiful." Like that too - not really a compliment is it? But it's not implying he disagrees either.

No one had ever called him that. - this feels a bit like a perspective change.

Nice taht it only takes his touch to calm nora down.

There's something refreshingly honest about Nora as well. She accepts that she'll be mistress or nothing.

Ha! tying her up _ I didn't think of that, but it makes sense. I would liek to know more of what it is about him that Nora finds attractive though. Is it a physical thing, or the fact that he'd powerful? And how does it make her feel to be with him? When she's not angry with him anyway. I think you might have mentioned it, but it feels a bit lacking here.

Liking that nora sticks to her guns though. And bless that she remembers the pain of his knee rather than the ugliness of it.
Michael Howard chapter 51 . 4/27/2011
"Until then, his mind stretched and jumped from thought to thought, refusing to settle, dancing around the forbidden subject of the woman he refused to name."

Refusing and refused in the same sentence?

"But the Tsar did not look pleased. No pleasure relieved the tension in his brow."

Again, redundant.

"But a deep seated bad feeling gnawed at the Tsar's insides."

Awkward.

"Her breathing was too elevated for the pace her work."

Pace OF her work

"When she turned from hooking the duster onto its nail, she found him directly before her, a little too close for comfort. With a little gasp, she stepped back, into the cupboard."

Little and little

Despite all the critical comments I was very glad with the turn of events depicted here. Fingers crossed that love (and justice!) conquer all.
thewhimsicalbard chapter 51 . 4/26/2011
I hate Mogilev. What a skank. Thank goodness for Chelyadin. There was a lot of action in this chapter, so I'll try to assess each point one at a time.

Nora in the hospital was a well-written bit of show-don't-tell, though I'm interested to know how she got there. After all, you did mention last chapter that "everybody" who saw Mogilev sitting in his car was thinking, "not me, not me, not me".

Just a thought for you to consider. Story logic, and whatnot.

I'm very interested to see what will happen when Alexei finds out that Mogilev has been lying to him, and that he tried to kill Nora. I'm personally a fan of the Tsar when he's being a merciless killer. You write that with the proper level of intensity, and I hope you pull that out here.

Mogilev skanky little bitch. I want him dead. He's causing problems. Let's kill him off, or something. How about we banish his ass to Siberia? I really did appreciate how you characterized him, especially how he was completely unable to read the signs of that Affimiya Gorodina, or whoever. If I recall, that was the girl from earlier during the first scene with Alexei, correct? He thought her hesitance was because she was "a princess to the core", not because Mogilev is "a dirty slut-bag". Great job; I hate him even more. Domineering ass.

Okay, so now... The hospital scene with Mogilev gave me a little pause, but that might be because I'm so familiar with American hospital procedures, seeing as my mom is a doctor. A guy just "standing" outside the ICU would never fly. But, things must be different in Russian WWII hospitals. So, I guess that works.

New chapter soon, please? I want to see where this goes, and I WANT KATYA AND NIKOLAI BACK!

On a content note, your language was excellent this chapter. I especially loved the little language games you played here. Case and point example is the "view" that Mogilev was enjoying. Great stuff. Poetic as anything. You should write poems sometime.

*wink-wink, nudge-nudge*

Your favorite fanboy,

-twb
3H chapter 51 . 4/26/2011
Uh oh...Mogilev is in deep shit with the Tsar. And I'm glad, because I don't like him much. I'm still so very happy that Dima is no longer a little prisoner in the palace. He get's to be a child. I'm some what glad Nora is alive, Alexei needs to be softened up and I believe love tends to do that people.

Please hurry and update, I can't stand waiting so long.

Ya know what? I nearly forgot about Katya and Koyla.

You're good.
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