Reviews for Nochnayia Lubov
NinaBinaBallerina chapter 41 . 2/26/2011
omg! i can't wait to see what happens when they finally get home! love this story
thefaultinourpatronus chapter 3 . 2/25/2011
Hey, congratulations on winning the February WCC! Sorry this took so long, but anyway, on to the review.

The opening was fantastic. It talked about things that happen in our daily lives, something so real that it's easy to relate to. I think a prologue like that is interesting for the start of any chapter, it's like a small intro, but isn't related to the story. Awesome D

The ending was nice as well - it was sort of like the opposite of the beginning, which was terrible and sad, while the chapter ended on a happier note.

'Gravel tore at her cheek where the force of the explosion threw her. Her forearms and legs were likewise bitten by rock. Her back was hit with punch after punch of debris'

-Okay wow, the image here is scary, and so GOOD (: Fortunately or unfortunately, (lol) I can see the picture in my head clearly.

The details throughout the story and chapter are amazing. You know all these find descriptions and things about the history of Russia, it makes the writing immaculate. All the stuff about the explosives and bombs are just really really well written.

With a sad, silent smile, she nodded.

-Interesting line, because we don't really know whether she's won over by him, whether she believes him, or if she's just smiling to reassure him.

One line I thought was odd and could be re-worded

-Taking her hand, he kissed it and squeezed it.

The repetition of "it" sounds awkward when read out, so I suggest you change it to:

-Taking her hand, and kissed and squeezed it.

Again, congratulations! You're work as usual is amazing! (:

x mandy
lookingwest chapter 20 . 2/25/2011
Woo! Sophie, congratulations on WCC! Sorry this took so long! XD And yay, I made it to chapter twenty! Now I get to feel sweet while scrolling down on the chapter drop down box!

Opening- Loved the opening visuals with Mogilev because it gave me a better understanding of the setting. I liked the part about him detailing how he checks everything but was still troubled with thoughts about Nora and what happened between them. I also think you did a fantastic job transitioning into that past scene there-beautifully smooth!

Scene- My favorite scene was definitely the one with Zhukov-man, it sounds so real! You do a fantastic job and making their discussion sound legitimate and I just adore how you've twisted history in a way that makes sense and is so believable. That scene also really showed mastery of Russian history, I think-it's so obvious you know your stuff that you're able to shape it as you wish, haha, so cool.

Enjoyment- I really enjoyed this chapter because all the scenes fit together so nicely and such wonderful transitions. The end with Nora was chilling, I might add, and I liked also seeing where the story went after the squabble with her and Mogilev. Per usual, the Tsar puts me on edge!

Characters-I think as far as characters in this chapter, like I mentioned above, this was a chapter very centered on the Tsar and how he's changed from then and now, and then also how mysterious he is. You've definitely added depth to his character through that scene with Zhukov-that last bit where he was like, "how are you going to do it?" and there wasn't a reply was amazing, haha. Even after all these chapters he's still a chilling man and I never know exactly what he's going to do. Stark contrast from what we learned about him in school and in Russian history.
berley chapter 5 . 2/24/2011
Congrats on winning the WCC!

“Sometimes, the air was thick with them you could not help but breathe them in.”

- I really liked this line because it made me imagine a lot of things, including more than just one sense. It made me think of when I’m walking outside in the summer time and I walk through a bunch of aphids and they get into my eyes, nose and mouth. I think it’s really cool when a simple line like that brings back a specific memory or sense like that, it’s awesome.

I really enjoyed the beginning with Katya imagining her friends. I was confused for about a second since it has been a bit since I’ve read this story, but it didn’t take long to realize that her friends were not real. I enjoyed how they were mentioned so smoothly and it was almost like they were real, especially since one of the girls had lice and they were talking about the officer. It was a nice way to introduce the chapter.

I absolutely adore the chemistry between the officer and Katya and just how the two of them interact in general. You can feel the tension and emotion between them as you read, which is just brilliant. Their relationship, if that is what you want to call it, is progressing beautifully. You’re pacing everything so well so far, I love it!

Guh, I pretty much gush about everything when I read your writing. I was frozen with Katya while she was watching her officer get beaten. The tension you build up in the end of the chapter was great, I definitely can’t wait to read on!
thefaultinourpatronus chapter 2 . 2/24/2011
Wow, melodrama to the fullest! With the officer walking in, looking at Katya - amazing scene.

Eleni seemed almost to float, her body pushed back by the force of Katya's invective.

I really like that line!

The pace towards the end of the chapter picked up nicely, and I really liked how frantic it was (:

It's also cool how this story isn't one of those typical romances... Believe me, I'm writing one, and this is definitely one of the unique few. I've read the later chapters, and you have amazing talents (: Keep writing!

x mandy
this wild abyss chapter 39 . 2/21/2011
Congratulations on winning the February WCC!

Opening) I think that for the beginning, you went a little overboard with description. In comparison to what the rest of the story has been, the writing felt overly flowery and without that sparse feel that I’ve come to enjoy about this story. The sentences in the first paragraph didn’t feel quite as smooth and connected than they usually do, which made the transition into this chapter a little hard to follow. You established where the characters were, but not as well as you could have, I think. So overall, it wasn’t a great start to the chapter.

Description) You use a TON of color descriptors throughout the chapter. (umber, bronze, navy, ivory, purple, blue, grey, ) and it got a little weird after a while. I think it would have been better to stick with one color, or at least a general theme, because so many conflicting and varied descriptions did get to feel a little odd and confusing after a while.

Characters) I’ve loved the steady build-up in Katya’s personality to this moment, the moment she realizes she cannot be with her friends anymore. You’ve painted her internal struggle perfectly, and in this chapter, where the culmination of it all comes about, I got a great feeling of satisfaction. Katya is such a beautiful character, you made her transition from past to future perfectly. Lovely job with that.

Enjoyment) This was a very nice chapter. Katya’s final conscious decision regarding the past has been a long time in coming, and I thought it was well done. However, the chapter by itself didn’t feel as if it should have been posted on its own. It was almost like it had been tacked on as an extra bit without being fully developed or written, if that makes sense. In short, I liked what happened, but I thought you could have given readers more.
Tawny Owl chapter 40 . 2/17/2011
Congrats on WCC.

Tiny grey space - loved that.

Shut up - should this be italics?

You captured Katya's emotions really well in thsi first part. The idea that she's going crazy on the inside, but frightened of people seeing it. It's like she's still aware enough to know herself and the outs side world, but can't quite control how she's seen. If that makes any sense?

Seeing Klya feeling the same was lovely too. (cold empty space was great - and showed the suddenness of it) and the cigarette was a great way to show it.

her insides slowly thawed again.

I love your descriptions. I know I keep saying it but I really do.

A snake, fat, gorged on the lives it had devoured.

That's amazing too!

Different girls, but the men always teh same? Because it was always th same soldiers - I loved that. and the way you set it out. The idea of the uniform as an entity in its own right further down, what with the way it gives them a lisence to behave sub human and all.

That was a nasty image. But I am kind of wondering why they're lining up if there's a whole train of women?

It was also interesting that Katya has the memories as an observer, it implied that it never happened to her. Not that I want it to, but, yes, I just kind of want to know haow she avoided it.

Oh? was her garanmama on the train too? or have I forgotten something?
Skyward Ending chapter 41 . 2/16/2011
First, congrats on winning WCC! Second, the review.

I liked how you kept bringing back Katya's demons. With what she went through, there is no question that this would happen and I think you did a good job of it. A part of me did want you to describe it a little more deeply.

Hehe, Nikolai. Susceptible, alas, to the vices of alcohol even in a situation like the one you gave...although if he did it totally of his own accord I think it's a bit out of character.

Some of the descriptions didn't quite ring well with me. How do whistles trill and brakes sing? I also thought "inspect" wasn't quite the right word, because in the context of war and soldiers the first thing I think of when I see "inspect" is someone doing a full body check or something, which is weird when followed by "ran away." Another thing that stuck out a bit was "aching mind." Although I really, really like how you took a worn-body-ache and applied it to the mind, the first thing I thought when I read that line was "how can a mind ache?" I think that was just me being really nitpicky though. Both of those are based on a first, normal-paced reading as opposed to a slower/second reading. The problem comes in that when I re-read things, it's usually because something didn't sit right with me.

Regarding a more technical issue, could Katya really fit into Nikolai's clothes, and he into hers, and are women soldiers common enough not to be suspicious in this society?

As you went back into part 3, I couldn't quite reconcile Katya's Nikolai with Nikolai's Nikolai. Did the training and the concentration camp change him that much or is it that I've gotten used to other people's views of him being rather condescending and regarding him as a liability/pest? I have to admit I find Katya's Nikolai considerably less annoying than the one of Part 2.

It's interesting how the suspense isn't stacked on-one could even argue that it ISN'T suspenseful, though it's certainly kept me reading :)-and instead feels more tired, doggedly moving on, wearily looking forward to being able to just collapse and rest, too exhausted to look any further into the future. Like Katya.

Is Nora really dead?
Adrenalin chapter 4 . 2/15/2011
Congratulations for winning the WCC!

The opening of this chapter is great: Katya having a nightmare felt real and I liked how you described it. At first I thought it had actually happened and then she wakes up - surprised me.

Funny how Katya says she doesn't want to get any closer than necessary to Nikolai but still thinks of him in a possessive way, as 'her officer'. And after she calls him 'Kolya' which sounds rather affectionate.

I was sorry for Katya all along that chapter. The way she just gives in, first when Nikolai says they have to turn back and when he decides to continue to the West, shows perfectly how damaged the camps have made her. Her hallucinations about Irina and the way she considers the bath (especially when contrasted with Nikolai's attitude) were very dramatic too.

This chapter, overall, was very good. It was less rushed than the previous one and the characterisation was especially good. I wonder in what direction Katya and Nikolai's relationship will evolve.
Tawny Owl chapter 39 . 2/13/2011
This was quite a slow moving chapter, but it felt like an important one. The train signals a new stage of their journey, as does Katya leaving behind her friends. And i think it was an important distinction that you made about her leaving them, rather than them leaving her.

although given Katya's prediction of what towns will be like I think she's always going to carry the gulag with her. It was a very strong image, actually, that despite teh fact she has been to other towns before she can't imagine them anymore. I don't think I fully appreciated what a huge mental vice an experience like hers could be until then.

And Kolya laughng at her! such a boy! It's kind of nice though, becasue at least it means she's more human to him and not an unatainable dream like the nora/katya. Although it dose tend to be the dreasm we can't have that we lust after more. Until we've gorged on them and feel sick anyway.

Loved the image of his breath melting on to her neck.

Fences - those she knew well - It might be worth contrasting them here, even those she does know them well. Garden fences would be different from those in a priosn cap, surely?

and interesting how reality has reinforced the roles that they had almost shed in the trapper's hut. That's kind of sad.
Mousie Moolie chapter 41 . 2/8/2011
I love this story so much. Thank you :)
berley chapter 4 . 2/7/2011
I really liked the beginning of this chapter, and your descriptions of the forest and the two of them running through it. The imagery was just beautiful, I really got a sense of what they were going through with the constant cover of trees and knowing that their pursuers were right behind them, being able to hear the muffled noises right behind them. It was really wonderful to read.

I think another favourite part of mine was when she was washing in the river, and the comparisons to the dirt she felt from being in the camps, the literal and figurative forms of filth that you used were great and tied together and expressed very well through the act of her finally being able to wash herself. It’s like she finally gets to start over.

I don’t really have any critique for you, your work is brilliant and I wish I had the time to read more than just a chapter or two at a time.
Michael Howard chapter 41 . 2/7/2011
First a minor quibble. As a long time reader of your work, I can testify to your evocative, highly original storytelling style. But the phrase "and the mare did a grapevine of panic" prompted confusion in me rather than any sort of mental imagery.

On a more favorable note, this chapter was an excellent example of how couples both need to be strong for each other at different times.

As for your conclusion, perhaps it wasn't a cliffhanger in the traditional sense but when you have a strong emotional investment in the future of this pair, cutting out almost on the doorstep of the place where that future may well be decided borders on reader cruelty.

Oh well, I'll forgive you if you update soon.
Punslinger chapter 41 . 2/6/2011
You continue to dazzle us with razor-keen phrases: "A wall of khaki hit her eyes." "A breeze inspected her, sniffing at her grimy clothes..."

However, (a drumroll to announce the coming biting criticism.)

Nikolai's fall into alcoholic helplessness without firm motivation and Katya's abrupt switch from fearful apprehension on the verge of hysteria to iron-nerved self-control just doesn't seem convincing. All during their escape journey you did well showing them as mutually supportive, each taking the leadership role when the other's spirits sagged. But here their actions don't seem to flow naturally from character and circumstances, but simply because the author wants them to behave that way.

Of course, Nikolai has personality weaknesses, as we saw when Nora was able to manipulate him. But he is no longer that innocent youth. His prison camp guard experiences should have toughened him and made him wary of temptation in the soldiers' vodka and boisterous companionship.

You might want to overhaul this chapter and have Nikolai become not totally incapacitated but just drunk enough for Katya to shame him out of it with a sharp scolding an bucket of cold water over his head. After all, you've made them practically an old married couple at this point and that's how a long-suffering wife would would treat hubby's fall off the wagon.

I hope some of this is helpful.
3H chapter 41 . 2/6/2011
:( Aw, short chapter. I love how you used the word propoganda film, I'm not sure why.

Freaking Koyla got suckered into drinking more than he should have. I can't say I blame him, he had to sct as a guard. Once he sobers up I hope Katya chews him out for not watching how much he consumed. I wonder if part of her thought, "I'm just gonna leave the bastard on the ground." I'm so glad they're nearly home free. Switching uniforms was a last resort option, smart woman that Katya. Now that they're coming to their final destination, I just know it's gonna start a whole new slew of problems. Can't wait... And I googled Wilfred Owen. I guess James Franco wasn't to far off but I'm still stuck with the images from my dream.
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