Reviews for Dumbass Boy Causes Some Consideration
Ernest Bloom chapter 1 . 2/22/2010
i like the ideas of your images

quite a lot; their execution a

little less; a bit clunky, i


beware the x of y formulation.

e.g., "a maiden of Dionysus"

might (might) be better rewritten

as "a dionysian maiden."
Isca chapter 1 . 2/17/2010
"Your eyes like cake batter." Hmm. This is a very interesting image. I like this simile; it's different, but fitting.

"A maiden of Dionysus." Good allusion.

I loved the very subtle internal rhyme of "head/profligate." It's brilliant.

"I feel as if I could lose that piece of my manhood to you." An excellent ending; it's both entertaining and enticing.

Keep up the great work. :)