|Reviews for Dumbass Boy Causes Some Consideration|
| Ernest Bloom chapter 1 . 2/22/2010
i like the ideas of your images
quite a lot; their execution a
little less; a bit clunky, i
beware the x of y formulation.
e.g., "a maiden of Dionysus"
might (might) be better rewritten
as "a dionysian maiden."
| Isca chapter 1 . 2/17/2010
"Your eyes like cake batter." Hmm. This is a very interesting image. I like this simile; it's different, but fitting.
"A maiden of Dionysus." Good allusion.
I loved the very subtle internal rhyme of "head/profligate." It's brilliant.
"I feel as if I could lose that piece of my manhood to you." An excellent ending; it's both entertaining and enticing.
Keep up the great work. :)