|Reviews for A Box Full of Cookies|
| Hoor-al-Ayn chapter 1 . 9/10/2011
Lol that's so funny! Brilliant story. Kind of sad though...
| StoryMonster chapter 1 . 4/3/2011
I liked the deviation from cliche, and it has an interesting plot.
A tip for you: No caps, write in italics for emphasizing and others. It helps, and it looks way more possessional
| IfWeWereInLove chapter 1 . 2/9/2011
Interesting. I don't think I've ever read anything like that on FP quite yet.
So kudos to you for bringing up something new!
My usual stories are the types of ones with happy endings but this had an amusing and well written ending.
Just a tip, try not to write anything in caps.
eg."APRIL FOOLS DAY, Loser!" Trev bellowed into my right ear.
Instead you could say
"April fool's day, loser!"Trev bellowed loudly into my right ear.
It's grammatically incorrect but otherwise your ideas and descriptions for this story are really good.
| 64ShatteredButterflys chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
This is so sad that guy is such an ass!
| Xxluvbugger213xX chapter 1 . 10/30/2010
ahahaha! I loved it! It's hilarious, and it's so unpredictable! Also, i love it the way you made the main character unattractive to herself. That's rare, and pretty common in girls today lol. Love it, i'm going to read another one of your stories now ( ;
| donttellanyone chapter 1 . 10/7/2010
whoa, i want to kill this trev guy..
| nooooooooooooooooooooooooooope chapter 1 . 9/19/2010
That was... Depressing. Yet kinda funny... Ahaha. I don't really feel that bad for her, because what she described herself as seemed a bit like a high school thing, and when she got older she COULD make herself look decent.. Plus, she didn't seem sad or anything about her life, she kind of had a positive outlook towards everybody else, and when she was insulted or something she just agreed with them! It was like she was totally neutral... Anyways. This isn't exactly romance... Kinda misleading... They all seemed really mean, but that's life. There's always gonna be someone like that, at least this one isn't all torn up about it. I think this goes more into the life/humor section.. Anywhoo. I liked this, it's very eye-opening when you get to the really deep moral underneath all the humor/low self-esteem -
| ranDUMM chapter 1 . 9/18/2010
Poor girl! I feel like crying now, I feel so sorry for her :( She's so sweet and nice, and she was so cute when she thought he liked her. I feel really bad for her now... and he was so mean to her!
Your descriptions were great - they were funny and yet they made us feel really sorry for her as well. You have a knack of writing the right words at the right time. The tense of the story changed a few times - such as:
- "I thoroughly enjoyed watching this boy. There is always non-stop excitement around him..."
It should have read:
- "I thoroughly enjoyed watching this boy. There WAS always non-stop excitement around him..." You switch 'is' to 'was' a lot, so careful of that. The ending was a little abrupt, as well.
Just a small mistake:
- "...would be much easier that it has been for me previously." Change 'that' to 'than'.
You write REALLY beautiful pieces! I can honestly say that I loved reading this piece. You are so talented :D Really awesome work, keep it up!
- repaying review 2/5
| Cassie1521 chapter 1 . 9/12/2010
That was really cute/sad, but very well written. Your characterization was really good, and I love how Garnet still manages to see the best in everyone and be optimistic. You can't help but root for her and hate the others. Good job!
| Katerzzz chapter 1 . 9/9/2010
Very good story, very sad. Also incredibly well written. It's an amazing piece, and I especially like how she manages to stay so upbeat in the light of tragic, terrible events.
Thanks for reviewing.
| Long Island Iced Tea chapter 1 . 8/20/2010
Lol, a very O'Henryesque ending... I know it's mean of me, but seriously I thought it was hilarious.
| ByYourSide chapter 1 . 7/14/2010
(mouth drops open)
That was so sad...
It's amazing how she stays so naive and cheerful. I'd be completely torn apart inside if I were her. That joke was really harsh of Trev. I hope she finds true love someday.
| WindLessNiteZ chapter 1 . 6/10/2010
ok call me a sadist but after i read that i laugh i know somehow this is a sad story and that guy was just mean .
but than i still laugh gosh i must be evil .
-anyway nice story is short but you expressed the plot in a very good way that i can understand this story completely . great job hope to read more of your story in the future C
- oh and thx for your review C
| Kyllex chapter 1 . 4/21/2010
Aw! This was sad. But...funny. Okay, it's not funny, WHY AM I LAUGHING AT THIS POOR GIRL'S MISFORTUNE?
Trev is a jerk. They're all jerks. ASSHOLES. Jeez.
I like this. The idea is really original. At first when he started talking to her I was all, "Aw, maybe somebody really does like the ugly girl!" but then he did that mean thing and my hopes were crushed. And yet I still laughed, for some odd reason. IT'S NOT FUNNY, DAMMIT.
Anyway. Sorry. I'm like really hyper right now so that's why this review is kind of strangely ADHD. Oh well.
I really did like it. I don't know if you could tell by my incessant rambling. But yeah. I like it. Er...good job. Heh.
| MeAsIAm chapter 1 . 3/28/2010
Another amazing one-shot! Your stories contain just the right tints of humor! :) The summary was delightfully misleading. A really nice read!