|Reviews for Subrutum|
| InkWitch chapter 1 . 11/26/2010
are u emo? **laughs like a crazy hyena** i'm kidding :P i like ur story cos its so mysterious but it doesn't have much substance in it. i'd like for it to be more... i dunno, descriptive? expressive? all i got from this chapter was that some dude killed a girl and his friends were clearing stuff up for him (which is weird in some ways :S) and that he feels bad about it. that's it. can't say that's much of a story.
i'll tell what i did like about it though. u have a curiously, in-tuned with your writing (i have no idea what that means but i just feel like that's the only thing to call you :S).
i love these lines A LOT "It was never meant to be like this, he reflects dimly as he tries to make out what the stain on his hands is. The girl –...– lies surrounded by leaves and framed by murky moonlight, her hair forming an uneven, shaky halo around her head, as if the artist lost their faith halfway through making it. Stains similar to the one on his hands darken her clothing, and her eyes are lifeless, vacant and empty with no shimmer or spark in them."
i LOVE that paragraph. it's so good and that part about "the artist lost their faith halfway through making it" was just an amazingly poetic way of describing her. u can actually feel how lucas is feeling.
all in all, it's a good piece of literature, but can't say much for the story itself. i guess i'll judge after a few more chapters?
thanks for the read! :)
Please read and review my stories
| The Immoralist chapter 1 . 10/25/2010
there's never been on story on here that's caught my attention the way this one did. please do continue!
| crossfader chapter 1 . 7/7/2010
this is gripping. the opening had me right away! the whole first paragraph can honestly do no wrong. i love how throughout you never give too much away, always keep us guessing. and the dialouge has you written all over it (;
WRITE MORE. this could be a super story.
| Rinie chapter 1 . 2/19/2010
I'm reviewing because I know you deserve this. :)
Anyways, so Lucas killed Adrianne? Is that right? Anyways, you gave it a good start. I'm practically drawn to the plot. I mean, I want to know more about them and all. And I think that's really rare since you don't normally get my attention. Ever. But you did. So I'll applaud you for that.