|Reviews for Lighthouse Charlie|
| nadljfaithglingh chapter 2 . 2/25/2010
Oh, the hostilities! Love it! I also love how I can get such a great feel for your characters in such few words. Wonderful. Can't wait to read more!
| nadljfaithglingh chapter 1 . 2/25/2010
Another story! YES. Love it so far. I like how you set it up so that there are other elements of the story that will come into play, but in a subtle, well-written sort of way. Off to read the next chapter! And once again: YAY for another story :D
| MCM315 chapter 2 . 2/25/2010
You're back! I miss your other story, but am glad you're still writing. And this seems really interesting so far. There's a lot that's not known, mainly what happened during the year after the prologue's incident? I doubt they were a happy couple. lol. Beauregard seems very interesting; I'm curious as to how he's related to the family and why he comes and goes constantly. I love love/hate relationships, which is what seems to be going on between Charlotte and Beau. And them going to school together and living in the same house is sure to be fun to read.
Great start. I liked the failed date at the beginning, and Charlotte's reaction when she saw Beau again. As always, I'm looking forward to more of your writing :)
| sunshinernnr chapter 2 . 2/25/2010
omg, omg, omg! I don't even know where to start or what to say that will adequately portray how excited I am about this story! I'm a long time fan of yours but have only recently been nudged into reviewing from silent reader-hood. So... let me count the ways I love this story so far.
Prologue: The descriptions are amazing! This might be my favorite description of yours, "my hair spread out darkly across the honey toned wood like spilt molasses."
I think it's so interesting that you ended the prologue with this line: "And so it was that we both went into our first kiss with our eyes wide open." Seems they didn't go into it with open eyes, since it's now a year later and whatever happened that night hurt her badly. So.. cool use of contrast there (unless I'm misinterpreting this.)
1st chapter: I like how you started out the chapter with a seemingly unrelated event and segued into the Charlie/Max dynamic from there. (Although I bet Emmanuel will feature in the story later.) It keeps the story multidimensional.
I think you have such a good mix of dialogue and description. Enough description to show your mastery of words and enough dialogue to keep the story active.
I'm confused about this line: "She performed some mental little pirouette thing across the entrance way . . . " Do you mean mental as in crazy? Or as in.. in someone's head?
You may have a mistaken carriage return after this line, "I sat forward beseechingly as I added,"
Also, I think it's so cool that you mentioned the jumble of footwear congregating by the door. First because you added detail and intermediary action without detracting from the story and second because my family does it. Is it an Australian thing?
| Alenor chapter 2 . 2/25/2010
oh he's sticking around for a whole year? can't wait to see how this turns out for them. clearly he often comes and goes, yes? cya next time ~ Alenor
| righthere431 chapter 2 . 2/24/2010
Lol a year! I hope she survives...well more like Max survives ahaha.
| GemsBlowfish14 chapter 2 . 2/24/2010
Woo hoo another update unless than a week, this officially made my day! I love the way you develop your stories by giving enough backgroud to make the reader feel content yethave that mystery that makes you curious and crave more. Curious to find out about what happened during the year that passed and the years before. I also really like how this is first person because I think you get to know the character better cause you are inside their head. Anywho just thought I'd drop a review telling how much I like this story so far! Hope you update again soon!
| swapna chapter 2 . 2/24/2010
I'm so excited to read this story! I love your writing, and I'm glad you've started a new story!
I think Emmanuel is an awesome character, and I hope they're going to be platonic friends. It will be interesting to see the sexual tension that will undoubtedly result from Max and Charlie living in the same house. I'm kind of curious about how they are related - through the stepmother perhaps? I hope we get the story of the aftermath of the kiss from the prologue.
| Amelia chapter 2 . 2/24/2010
Hahaha Oh my goodness! That was something, that was...
Why's Charlie so angry at Max? Can't wait to find out their history! Great start to this story, Jess. I've read most of your stuff and I can positively say that I'm in love with all of them. D Can't wait to read more!
| Mai-lee T chapter 2 . 2/24/2010
I really like this story line! It seems alot more original than other stories out there. I feel kinda bad for Max tho... he HAS to be a little hurt by Charlie's words...
One thing confuses me tho: The prologue is when compared to chapter 1? In the past? or future?
I love you're writing tho! I've read you're other story(s?) a while back and they're just fabulous!
Keep up the good work!
| blurrylights chapter 2 . 2/24/2010
I loved the bit with Emmanuel. That was so cute, how they both felt nothing for each other. :) And how they blatantly expressed that.
I just found one error:
"Much as it galled me to admit it, maybe my dad had been right, dates on a school night were a bad idea, I was totally knackered."
-That should be two sentences. -Much as it galled me to admit it, maybe my dad had been right. Dates on a school night were a bad idea, I was totally knackered.
-He he. Knackered.
Ugh, Max. I really am so curious to see how exactly he's related to her. It's not an incestuous relationship, is it? That would be creepy...
Also, I'm curious about Lisa. Stepmother?
UPDATE SOON! *entices with colorful candy from van*
| Lil Bazza chapter 2 . 2/24/2010
It's not like I intentionally added the story to my favourites. I mean, I'm used to the review button being there, and I don't review many times that I add stories before I realise what I'm doing! :( But you know, I do know how to remove it! :P
Summer sounds delightful. Do you know what it's like here? It's snowing, the ground is icy and thus you don't want to walk on it because you end up on your bum, and I sleep under two 'comforters' and a blanket. And yup, it's not even 0 degrees Celsius.
I loved the moments between Charlie and her date. And I love the title of the story. I have a feeling that Max is going to be using it in some profound love speech or something. Or her Dad. Are we going to get a play by play of what exactly went on in the history? Like who Max is, how he's related? Why he doesn't go to school? How he's going to graduate?
Why ask questions? They'll be answered if I wait. :o
I was so upset when I got your review reply, because I had a horrible mid term to study for today, and all I wanted to do was read, and as I was going to be I got your response, and I'm like, oh no, she's going update soon and then I'll want to read it and I can't because I should study. But the exam went horribly so reading it was a nice distraction from how horrible I feel.
Oh this story is going to be so much fun. I can just see fights, and brawls, and incredible amounts of sexual tension. It's going to be like those middle chapters of Private Lives Public Property...
Ah, made my day. Made. My. Day.
Even cheers made my day. Ha. My old roommate from Perth (the West Coast supporter) used to say cheers all the time. Ah, I miss that.
| book-geek chapter 2 . 2/24/2010
this chapter confused me a little. where did he go? who is the other guy? (i know u said something about him but it was kinda random how he was there) but it was still very interesting
update soon (:
| keywordparamore chapter 2 . 2/24/2010
Haha, I get my terms from a book about slang through the decades... an example:
"So Max has come back in a fall by? I think Charizard's lighting up the tilt sign when she says she's unhappy that he's back, especially because she thinks he's the mezz. This is the dog's ankle!"
"So Max has come back for a visit? I think Charlie's lying when she says she's unhappy that he's back, especially because she thinks he's perfection. THIS. IS. AWESOME."
I feel like a nerd now, but gah. What a great story!
| xlovexpollutionx chapter 2 . 2/24/2010
cute date fail at the beginning! and i'm def interested to know more of the max-staying-with-them circumstances and history and such. but really, i'm just so psyched to read another story by you.