Reviews for Lighthouse Charlie
aj79k40 chapter 1 . 2/20/2010
I'm psyched to see how this new short story turns out. It seems really fun!
Mademoiselle Rouge chapter 1 . 2/20/2010
Yay! You're back!

Great first chapter :)

(Sorry, really short but I'm late for class!)
nightlystar chapter 1 . 2/20/2010
im soo excited for this story it sounds realy interesting and the sexy sense are so hot!..up date soon :)
lunabella chapter 1 . 2/20/2010
I love it! I'm so glad you are back :)

A simple and yet still interesting story is a nice change!
summers-end chapter 1 . 2/20/2010
I'm so glad to see you back! I read your profile and I'm so excited about it! Congrats on being able to do something like that-I'm always looking to someone or something for advice or (more to the point really haha) praise.

I'm really curious about the title! And I forgot about your Christmas in summer thing until I reread the opening, haha.

When you're describing what Charlie's wearing at the very beginning, the feelings you elicit are well done. But the detailed descriptions of what her dress and necklace look like throw it off. It makes the opening too long and full of descriptions instead of a scene, you know? Although you definitely still managed to pull the reader in and put him/her in a scene so thoroughly built I felt like I could almost smell the heat and sweat myself (and Max's awesome manly shower gel stuff). I just think those little descriptions are unnecessary; they stopped me from immersing myself because they were obviously included to set up a scene. Simply saying a dress and the necklace she always wore would be enough. You know? I hope I'm explaining myself well and not just coming across like a incoherent, unlearned rambler who doesn't know what she's talking about.

SO excited you're back!

laramara chapter 1 . 2/20/2010
yay! new story! very excited! can't wait to read more!
I Murder on Impulse chapter 1 . 2/20/2010
Hehe very cute!


1,882 | « Prev Page 1 .. 116 123 124 125 126