Reviews for Pandora
Manifest-Destiny-x X chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
I really love the italicized lines, they add a lot of meaning that might otherwise be lost. I would have liked to see the last parts centered with the rest of the poem and the last line italicized as well. I like the 'tap, tick' onomatopoeia throughout the poem as it serves as a connecting thread. Also, I really liked the one-sided dialogue.
JaffaFoose chapter 1 . 3/25/2010
Stunning. I love this piece.

"He told me she used to all the time./Hair flying free,/with the sun and the moon fighting for a chance to shine down

on her face."

That's just beautiful writing.

"Of waking up every morning to go to sleep every night."

Wow! I've never heard that sentiment expressed any better than you've expressed it. Very nicely said.

And the last line is great. Leaves me thinking about this girl.

And your description of her is extremely well done. And and and and and. Truth is, I can't think of anything not to like about this.

Wonderful piece. Favorited.
BewilderedTeapot chapter 1 . 3/18/2010
I thought this was a really interesting poem.

I loved the formatting of the last stanza, i think it gives a sort of sense of time elapsing, I thought it was clever.

The last standalone line was nice, leaves the reader thinking.

My favourite part was: It weighs her down, all those worries.

Wrinkling her forehead and sinking her eyes. Nice imagery, and relatable.
Aoide's Anthem chapter 1 . 3/1/2010
It's interesting, the way that this poem so accurately documents the stream of consciousness and the story of a life (while a bit confusing). Great poem. The formatting of the last stanza doesn't seem to do much for the poem; rather, separate with extra line breaks.
Desy.Rae chapter 1 . 2/24/2010
If this was Facebook, I would "like" this :)
Isca chapter 1 . 2/23/2010
"It weighs her down, all those worries." Good. This line is striking because its tone is so taut and impactful.

"She's got brown hair, this one." Funny, I had always pictured Pandora with black hair. The fact that her hair is brown here makes this piece seem much more modern to me.

"Sick and tired. Of waking up in the morning and going to sleep at night." Excellent writing. This part ties the whole piece together, I think.

"I wonder what she's looking at." Hmm, how interesting. I like that this final line keep the reader guessing.
Anonymous Soul chapter 1 . 2/23/2010
I loved your poem. I liked the metaphors in your poem, especially the one in the beginning, "A lifetime Sleeping on her brow." because it creates a very vivid vidual image of the woman and illudes to the nature of her past.

I also liked how near the end of the poem you included the question 'Is she happy now' because it left the reader wanting to go back an analyze the poem in order to answer this question.
drink me pretty chapter 1 . 2/22/2010
That last line is brilliant to me, somehow.

I really felt its impact-strange as that may be,

since I wasn't even aware of any building momentum

to begin with. It all seemed so subtle, but in a

very intriguing way.

Ah, great work.