Reviews for Goosebumps
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 3/21/2010
Congrats on winning the Review Marathon! Here is your prize review:

I like the rhythms you make in this. In certain stanzas, you create a distinct pulse by keeping the lines short and using repetition. Then, you switch back to a smoother feel. I really liked the back-and-forth feel of it. It kept the piece new and interesting the whole way through. That having been said, it felt a little strange when you had two "pulsed" stanzas towards the end. That could just be me, though.

I love the connectivity of the first line and the last stanza. The first line implies that the person is physically there, but then the end contradicts that. It makes me think that what you're getting at is that the person is physically there, but not emotionally. Definitely a nice twist on this sort of image.
XxXKristie MarieXxX chapter 1 . 3/19/2010
Wow so sad but this poem pulled me in..i've been there. Great job. I'm so envious, your so good lol.

XKristie MarieX
Luna Turner chapter 1 . 3/9/2010
The angst in this was strong and well represented.

I liked the turn that the piece took at the end.

My only suggestion would be to take away the word "again" from the line "remembering how it feels to be together again," so that it's just "remembering how it feels to be together,"

But other than that, it was a really great piece.

Yours truly,

Luna Turner
lookingwest chapter 1 . 3/8/2010
I actually really enjoyed the sixth stanza because of it's imagery of a breeze through an open window, and how it would create goosebumps, I really could feel that and I thought it was the most unique part of the poem. The rest of it I feel as though I've heard before as far as subject matter, but it is a very bitter love poem and the way that you repeat the negatives in the last stanza is effective and I do like that, because it does bring out that rawer emotion. It just came across to me as too New-Moon-ish, I'm just not a fan of "needing" another-but for the purposes of the poem to convey a certain feeling this worked well.

From the Review Marathon's Review Squad, link in my profile
Little Miss Cullen Cutie chapter 1 . 2/28/2010
Good. Sad. Perfect. 'Nough said.

~Little Miss Cullen Cutie~
Keree chapter 1 . 2/26/2010
I like it. Amazing. How do you come up with such wonderful work? Regardless...well done *pats back*
Moon-Chaser chapter 1 . 2/25/2010
This is quiet good, I love the way that you have done this. Beautifully written, it gave me goosebumps.

Keep it up.

Glad to see that you are back, it has been awhile.
Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 2/25/2010
I both liked and disliked the repitition of the single emotion. You don't waver from the initial sense of: "this person is leaving" you don't travel far from that, even as we reach the end, and I liked that because it gave the exact feeling a lot of significance. However, having said that it can weigh the piece down a bit.

It's not that bad, don't be so hard on yourself. Glad to see you posting again.

Much love,

Juliet.
someday-i-will chapter 1 . 2/24/2010
I quite like the simplicity to this and the concept of goosebumps that you use. Poetically, it could probably be expressed better but I really like the first couple of stanzas.
Isca chapter 1 . 2/23/2010
I like your use of the word "seeping" in the opening line; it adds a lovely angsty quality to the tone.

"Goosebumps arise." This seems spiritual somehow. I like that.

"To be us again." I like the subtle emphasis on the word "us" here - as if the speaker and this other person are *becoming*.
under estimated artistsoul chapter 1 . 2/22/2010
It has been long time since I've been on here, but decide to see if any of my favorites were still active. Many have become only a mere memory lost in a sea of unknown names. Kudo's to you. I like this. It reminds me of a recent dream. Strong last 3 lines. Nice.
Princess-anna57 chapter 1 . 2/22/2010
Hmm, not your best written piece, but I know you haven't posted for a LONG time and I'm just glad you have! The emotion really speaks to me. I think you could have used more original phrasing though. The second and fourth stanzas are GREAT however! And I like how you used italics for that one line "All I ever needed was you" - gives a kinda haunting and mysterious effect. YAY! Overall, thanks for posting and keep writing dear.

~Anna~ _
27 | « Prev Page 1 2