no good no naked

Hi

THis is a really good story

Congrats ! You made me blush ... and I'm 27 ...

i like the story its nice it actually gives you hope that one whilst playing truth or dare your crush is going to kiss you out of nowere.

I love this story! Good job!

AWESOME

haha NICE!

-M

Freaking Amazing.

I wish something like that could happen to me.

I actually found this story by accident when I was googling my username, and I'm glad Icame across this story. I think this story has good plot development and a great sense of timing, you did really well with that, and after reading your profile I hope you keep the writing up even though lack of response can be a little underwhelming, just remember that there really only a few stories out there with huge amounts of reviews... So hopefully this one review will help spur you on!

After reading through your story I can offer just a few things that might help you along, near the beginning of the oneshot you introduced he characters merely by putting a brief discription in brackets, short stories are short and lack a lot of information as it is so perhaps if you added a bit more description of the supporting characters it wouldn't be so hard to gague the level and types of relationships that exist between the group. Add more than just adjectives to the descriptions of the characters and enrich it with flashbacks or memories to let us understand why exactly Leydon is sweet and caring and all that stuff. Also I didn't really get why the main character referred to herself as the freak just before they kissed? Was it because she was never-been-kissed before that time? I think it would make an interesting read if you kind of explained this... Is it lack of self worth that makes her think she can't get a guy or is she just holding out for Laydon? Etc etc.

Of course I mean only thes things in the most constructive way, I really did enjoy the story and the ending was so very sweet (ps mind my spelling sorry, I'm typing all of this on my iPhone.)

This was a cute little story. I do agree with another reviewer, I tended to pay more attention to May and Layden. I know the other characters were important, but whatever. I would also agree that the description of the game was a little confusing.

I have a feeling that Charlene made up that dare, but hey, who's going to complain about that?

I think there was one word that was wrong, but I can't find it now. That's really going to bother me now. Oh, well, besides that one stupid word I didn't find anything glaringly wrong, so good work.

I really loved Layden's unique name. I hate coming up with names for my characters, it's seriously the hardest part of writing sometimes.

Anyway, this was really a cute story and it flowed well and was an easy read.

Cute!

That was so cute. I love it.

good job. i think you need to explain the game a bit better, its not hard to understand just your wording is a bit off. otherwise i love it! dont waste you time paying back :)

-norah

Aw, it's so cute! I just love it!

It makes me want to write a truth or dare story!

: ) keep writing!