Reviews for A Vampire Queen |
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![]() ![]() Is this the end? |
![]() ![]() ![]() I liked this story. The ending seemed rushed and I just wish you had added a sentence or two about Elaina and Nikolas eventually getting married, and finding out they had a stronger/different connection than what she had with Phillip. Just a little bit of a let down, but otherwise I enjoyed it. :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() *Happy Tear.* |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well that was an interesting ending, a bit quick, but well written. I didn't spot any spelling or grammar errors. It's upsetting that Phillip died, but it's good that Nikolas is there for her. I hope your revamp of the story goes well. Keep up the good writing, you did well with this story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love how it came back to master Ansley. You did good kid. Oh wait, I'm younger than you... In any case, you did amazing. A. M. A. Zing. Is there going to be a sequel? That would be amazing. A. M. A, oh forget it! |
![]() ![]() ![]() The ending felt a little fake and a little forced, as well as rushed, but overall the story had a nice tone, dlear voice, and Elaina had awonderful wit that made me chuckle at times. It's refreshing to see a powerful female character who can stand on her own two feet when surrounded by super-powerful creatures. And then become their queen. It was another inspirational story, not that I would expect any less from you, given your history. |
![]() ![]() A fitting end to the story. Perhaps in your editting, It would be worth mentioning what Nikolas believes might happen should he de throne her, or if she abdicated. "No, Elaina. Not without you. You have an unprecedented amount of respect among your people. Don't let that go. Show them that you can recover from this, and they will be able to as well. I'm not going to let you sit here moping for the rest of eternity." for instance could be extended slightly to say that it could cause some sort of rift in the Vampire race, which could lead to the perception that the race was weak because of Phillips loss. This could in turn lead to the belief that she was not strong enough to lead the race etc etc etc. On a plus side..Contrary to my earlier comments...the speech in this chapter was much better, and more fitting the creatures and era they come from. Good luck with the publishing efforts, It may be hard to write a story to completion, publishing is another kettle of fish altogether. RvR |
![]() ![]() ![]() I am glad this story ended like it did-I always thought she needed to be with Nikolas. Good story, I enjoyed it alot. |
![]() ![]() ![]() whoa :) this is amazing xD can't wait to read more! D |
![]() ![]() ![]() i like the ideas that are in this chapter but i think you could have drawn it out more - it would have been more detailed and better. as it is it just kind of feels like information overload, but shallow information at the same time |
![]() ![]() ![]() um quick question. when did she get kidnapped? |
![]() ![]() ![]() That was an interesting chapter. It was well written, I didn't spot any spelling or grammar mistakes. It was kind of sudden that Elaina just got kidnapped out of no where. The battle was interesting as well, but a bit quick. And sadly now Phillip is dead. Keep up the good writing, I look forward to reading what happens next. |
![]() ![]() NO! You made me wait all that long for that! I depise you for killing that awesome character! Though I am a little thrown by the chapter on how she was kidnapped why one econd the fae prince was holding her, she broke free and then Phillip was dying behind her? |
![]() ![]() ![]() This story is so good, I love it. This chaper ends on a cliffhanger-will Elaina turn to Nikolas. What a surprise that Phillip died-I had not thought of that. This story flow well from chapter to chapter and keep you interested with every chapter that you read. Can't wait for the next update-this story is amazing. |
![]() ![]() I love this story. I don't know why I haven't read it sooner. Every chapter is better than the last. Keep up the good read. I can't wait for the next chapter. |