You have a good plot line but I think you are failing slightly at remaining in character when writing their speach. Vampires as old as some of the ones you have created speak far too much like 15 year old school girls from today's era.

"No way could you ever let me down," For example.

Remember, even 50 to 60 years ago people had a VERY different way of talking, and this is not something that would be easily broken or changed.

RVR

Well that was another interesting story, Nikolas is back and things seem to be heating up again. It was another well written chapter, I didn't spot any spelling or grammar errors again. And the relationship of Nikolas and Elaina is very intriguing, it'll be interesting to see how everything turns out, especially now that the war is heating up again. I look forward to reading your next update, keep up the good writing.

ok, guessing phillip gets killed eventually then elaina mates nikolas.

Very addicting.

Well that was an amazing chapter. I didn't spot any spelling or grammar mistakes. The content was great, the descriptions were very good, and Elaina's talk was extremely well written. And now you ended with a great cliff hanger. Overall it was a fantastic update. I can't wait to read your next update, keep up the great writing!

NO! MEAN! it is anesly right? he is the one from the royal line who is missing? liked the show of power from elaina. update v. quickly to make up for the mean cliffhanger. pretty please? ;)

O.O could you have made it any more suspenseful? can't wait for the next chapter!

think i like philip more for allowing elaina the option to back out at every turn. now that all this has happened am v. curious to see anesly's reaction. does he arrive soon?

Well, that was a well written chapter. Now Elaina has all this responsibility, I wonder if there will be more attacks, or if Ansley will come back. Keep up the great writing, I look forward to your next update.

(Also, I am "MD", now with an account though :) )

but what of nikolas?

OOH this is getting GOOD! i cannot wait to find out what haappens next. you should have sophie come into the vamipre mix in another way than her brother...but it wsa just a thought, i myself wouldnt even know how to start THAT off. lol (drinks milk with cookies)

I really like this story so far! Its great! Keep up the good work and please hurry with the next one!

later

Em

Great update! This is an interesting story, and I'm excited to see where you're going to go with it. Keep up the great work.

good

please let annesly arrive in time or have something interrupt the ceremony. also if this is just for covenience why is phillip being so affectionate? update soon