Reviews for Minor Talent
BlaznFangurl chapter 8 . 4/15/2010
Ahaha, that's so cute, he is gay, if that's what you were referring too. That's adorable. Awesome chapter as always, hurry and update, I want more :)
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 5 . 4/14/2010
Well, I guess in a subtle way, this chapter is more on Frank and Dai. Anyway for Dai's case, I'm glad to see more of his personality at this moment. As for Frank, I think you might need to do a bit more to heighten the impact of his character like maybe doing a bit of exaggerations on his expressions and reactions. I'm not saying he doesn't have impact, but compared to Dai, he's more bland to put it in a blunt way. To me, Dai seems to be more flamboyant in character and hence, his character is more attention grabbing. Sort of reminds me of the whole American Idol stand-off between Kris Allen and Adam Lambert if you get what I mean. As you can see, I prefer Dai as a character mainly because of the impact of his nature. Doesn't mean I'm a fan of Adam Lambert though. It's more like I'm neutral towards that guy. Anyway, I can foresee a war between Frank and Dai over Hazel. If so, then it should be fun. ;)

P.S: I think I've paid you back in full with this review. If so, then hope to see more of your reviews for The Elven Chronicles. Also I'll stay back in updating The Eternal Grail because of the editing currently done by my beta.
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 4 . 4/14/2010
Well, it seems that I'm looking at a possible love triangle here? Anyway, this is a pretty good chapter in the general sense. But I felt that you could have fleshed out Dai's character even more. Okay I get the idea on what he's like, but I just felt that the attention in this chapter went too much on Hazel. Frank seems to be an interesting character though and I will be curious to see what you can do about his character. As for Chrissie, I just felt that she's coming more and more to me as some random high school girl. Be careful on how you do her character here since I don't think you intend her to be a one pattern hormonally charged character. Apart from that, nothing much to say except that the ending of this chapter is pretty much interesting. :)
lookingwest chapter 2 . 4/11/2010
From RH

"Dylan." Hazel corrected.

-Edit: comma instead of period after "Dylan"

"Yes ma'am." Chrissie muttered...

-Edit: comma instead of period after "ma'am"

First part-

I enjoyed seeing Hazel interact with Katie, you seem to have two strong women characters here. I suspect that Hazel's true feelings might not be so kind, regarding Lucy's marriage, but I do like her attitude of trying to get over it at least, and staying positive. I liked seeing the dynamics work with Chrissie too. There was good dialogue work in this part!

"I'm ready." She whispered.

-Edit: comma instead of period after "ready"

Second part-

Great idea here, showing us the ropes of the magazine through Chrissie-that's a great device. It gives you a chance to describe what the magazine is all about the reader, and also give us more insight to Hazel's job, while not being too obvious about it. I also loved how Hazel type casted all those guys, that was really creative, haha, and fun too. Interesting concept...hopefully she meets a guy who ruins her usual stereotyping-I'm definitley looking forward to that!
XxSiennaxX chapter 8 . 4/9/2010
Aww how sweet,

I really like your story so far and I can't wait to read more and to see where this is going to go.

Please update soon :)
dasdhksdladj chapter 8 . 4/8/2010
Yay! New chapter! :D I loved the light-hearted spirit of this chapter, as well as the more solemn feel of it near the end. A nice balance. :)

I'm wondering, should I know what Andy's hiding after the implications of this chapter? I'm suspecting what he's hiding, but of course, I can't be sure. :P

I really enjoyed how you described the band, the good and bad stuff. It was really interesting to read about the band's different personalities and how they spend their free time :)

I wonder what Dai is going to do with the notebook, I'm assuming it's Hazel's notebook? Maybe?

I only have one suggestion about word choice here:

-Wolf and Dai were too arrogant to admit to being nervous.

- I would perhaps replace the word "arrogant" with "proud" or something along those lines. I just feel that arrogant is perhaps too harsh a term for describing friends (or at least on some-what friends).

Looking forward to your next chapter! :D
lookingwest chapter 1 . 4/8/2010
Though I think the opening dialogue was a unique attention getter with all of the dialogue I did find it a little hard to concentrate without some speaker tags. I know you use the device of having them say each others names, Haze and Rosie, so we know who's talking, but at the same time I still think it could have benefited from a little more just by having a few tags anyway. Otherwise though, it certainly set off the narrative at a fast pace and it got me interested!

Once we get into the story right after the phone call, I disliked that you used the "mirror" motif to describe you're character Haze. I think it's a little too obvious when an author uses a mirror to describe their character, and I would have liked to have seen it worked into the narrative a little more uniquely, perhaps by her observed through another narrator or even commented on different parts of her complexion throughout the first chapter like "She brushed her blue-black hair from her forehead and pulled the door open..." or something like that. But, that being said, I do like that you've given your character a very distinct voice right off the bat, and I think she had a strong attitude when she's getting ready. I liked when you described her picking out her outfit.

Nice device to give us more information about Haze through the man who attempts to sort of flirt with her during the wedding. You used a lot of words like "chuckle" and "smirked" and I think that added to the playfulness and perhaps even the mischievousness of the scene.

Overall, I like the emotion and tension between the groom and Haze, and how Haze handles the situation. It would really suck to be at a wedding when you're still not completely over the groom who's getting married! Yikes! But that addles a lot of boldness to it, and I though Haze's narrative voice was well done and strong.

From RH
J. D. Bennett chapter 5 . 4/6/2010
Okay, I'm a little confused about Dai's relationship with Lucy. Please explain?

The contrast between Hazel and Dai is striking. At first she seemed intelligent and semi-poetic, now, though she's still smart, she seems overworked and crabby. It's not that I don't like her character's the opposite. She's a diverse, real, interesting character. I like that.

Hazel and Frank are also very different. Hazel is objective, and Frank is subjective. Interesting.

As for your question, I'm not sure who I like more to tell you the truth. I totally get Hazel's uptight, perfectionist personality because I'm the same way sometimes. But I like Dai a lot, simply because he sounds fun. How old are all of the characters? Dai seems so young compared to Hazel...almost like a teenager or a very young man, like Chrissie's age.
J. D. Bennett chapter 4 . 4/6/2010
I love Dai. He's a typical dude in a band. Quirky and immature and somehow super attractive.

"She leant back, making herself comfortable..." I'm not sure if "leant" is a word. "Leaned," maybe? Not sure.

Hazel wearing skinny jeans and a band tshirt is a little strange. I mean, sure, she writes for a music magazine, but for the workplace, don't you think she'd be a bit more professional? A magazine is a company, after all.

Good chapter! Now on to the next...
Sparkling Sploosh chapter 3 . 4/6/2010
I loved this chapter!

I think you did a great job with the dialogue, as well as the descriptions.

I have a feeling that the singer is the guy from the wedding?

Speaking of weddings - I thought Rebecca was getting married, not whoever Lucy was. This part confused me.

Overall great job! I can't wait for more.
Sparkling Sploosh chapter 2 . 4/5/2010
I liked this chapter. I thought that her view on life was interesting, as well as Michelle's.

I really hope that we run into the guy at the bar again, which I'm sure we will.

Great job!
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 3 . 4/3/2010
Heyo there. Me again. Okay, so I guess this one will be the last review I'll be doing for the night. Need to prepare myself for tomorrow's Easter church service. Anyway, I can see that this is a good chapter here. I like the way where you made Hazel to have a certain work vs life kind of complex. I think it's something that not everybody will get to experience since I have this opinions that most of the time, nine out of ten people tend to mix work together with life to varying extents.

But I feel that you could have fleshed out this part instead of a mere mention. In this way, the reader could get to see more of Hazel's identity as a character. Also I think you could actually input certain moments of humour when she met the guy in the bar. Also maybe you could try to make the band perform outrageous stunts to actually capture the readers' attention. Also another thing you might need to flesh out here was her possible paradox nature where Lucy was concerned. I think you've touched on that in the previous chapters, so why not continue it? With that being said though, I won't be surprised if you've saved this aspect of the plot for the later chapters. I really need to read through the whole story to be sure. And I think I know who was the lead singer lol! :D

P.S: I think I've paid you back in full with this review. If I'm correct, then I hope that you can review The Elven Chronicles aka that work on uber long hiatus soon since I might be updating it soon. :) But then again, if I've yet to return your reviews in full, please let me know. :)
Kobra Kid chapter 4 . 4/2/2010
Urgh I hate Dai! He's so arrogant, rude & annoying! I like how each character has a distinct personality, so thumbs up on that! :D. And Guns 'n Roses, nice. (I love them also hehe)

Anyways, great job with this! Keep up the awesome work!

Broken Cross

P.S. Could you please payback via Uprising? Thanks!
Kobra Kid chapter 3 . 4/1/2010
Uh-oh, I wonder who the singer is! x3. Great job on this, really. The dialogue is very realistic & the descriptions are wonderful. Love it! Keep up the kick a$$ work! :D

Broken Cross

P.S. Could you please payback via Uprising? Thanks!
dasdhksdladj chapter 6 . 3/31/2010
Another wonderful chapter! I really liked how you wrote the drunk scene, I was worried about what was going on, but at the same time I was highly amused by it. I wonder what Hazel said to Dai... Anyway, I couldn't believe the change in Dai, I'm liking him more, but that makes me worried for Frank! My goodness, you've woven quite the intricate love-story. I'm looking forward to reading what happens next... So I shall! Onto chapter 7! :)
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