|Reviews for Minor Talent|
| J. D. Bennett chapter 1 . 3/13/2010
(Hey, sorry it took so long to review...life has been crazy lately and unfortunately the pen is no substitute for the real world)
So I decided to review this story instead of Into the Night, just because I'm curious. I hate to start out the review negatively, but there is a bit too much dialogue at the beginning. Though it seems like a good way to start a story with dialogue, that's a lot. Almost like a wall of conversation, no narration.
I like this story, though. The idea of an eccentric, lonely middle-aged woman and her adventures at a wedding is very interesting.
I feel bad for Hazel. She got dumped by some rockstar and ended up going to the wedding of her ex at which, I am assuming, she intended to make this certain ex jealous by going with the rockstar. Is this right?
This is a great story! Now on to the next chapter!
| Kobra Kid chapter 2 . 3/11/2010
Haha I love Hazel. She's so punk & kick a$$! :D. I love girls like that, since its always so entertaining to see how they interact with other people. As for Catrin's "prediction", I think that it will come true. Hazel is just ignoring it right now, but I bet in the future that she'll realize that Catrin was right after all.
I only spotted a few typos, but I'm sure if you just read over it again that you'll find them.
Besides that, I love it! Keep it up! :D.
P.S. Sorry for taking so long to repay you. Life has been mayhem haha. But could you please payback via RFTA? Thanks so much! :].
| BlaznFangurl chapter 1 . 3/11/2010
I read this quite awhile ago but my computer wouldn't let me review so I finally found time at the college to review it. Anyways this was really good, I love your ability to set certain tones, it makes the reader's feel like they are right there.
I am looking forward to being able to read more, Hazel seems like a very god character to follow.
Great Job, Blazn.
| soundless.dissonance chapter 1 . 3/9/2010
As an intro, this was fairly successful-you definitely caught my attention within the first few minutes of reading. Your grammar was good, but not perfect-a few minor comma things here and there, but nothing major.
The only thing is, the first few paragraphs or so were more confusing than attention-grasping. I know a big part of writing is not giving everything away at once, but it took me a little while before I was actually interested in finding out what you were keeping secret, if that makes any sense.
I'm worried the plot might be a little over-used; just make sure you're staying creative in the future. Nothing to really stress about, I just wanted to call it to your attention.
...This probably seems harsh, but I did enjoy the read. Hope you continue writing. (:
| Kobra Kid chapter 1 . 2/26/2010
That was a great intro! :D. I really like Hazel (since I'm a music geek also :3) and I think her name is really cool. I do like Will also though, and I'm glad that him and Hazel get along. I hate it when you get into a relationship, break up & then never talk to each other again. But, yeah, I'm glad Will & Hazel are still talking.
Great intro! Can't wait for an update!
P.S. Please payback via Ace of Spades once I update. Thanks so much! x3.
| Sparkling Sploosh chapter 1 . 2/26/2010
I have to say that the opening was lacking a hook. At the beginning readers like to read something intriguing that will make them automatically want to read on, this phone conversation which was describing what Rosie did was not exactly my cup of tea.
There was a few things that confused me, so I disliked that. On the phone conversation she was saying that she went through boys quickly, I am expecting, and that she likes being single? Yet once they are off the phone it gives the impression that she isn't ready to face her ex from many years ago?
The man at the boy intrigued me and it sort of makes me sad to see that we didn't get to see any more of him in this chapter, I am expecting that he will play a larger role later on.
Overall it was well written, it just lacked something that grabbed the readers immediate attention.
Keep going with it!
| Devil's Playground chapter 1 . 2/25/2010
I like the conversation used to open this; it's an original way to start a story up, and it effectively set the atmosphere, started introducing the character, and made me curious to find out more about the story all within a very short amount of reading.
The flow of the writing stayed good throughout, and it seemed like it had flown by when I reached the end. I stayed entertained throughout it, and it left me wanting more. The word choice was great, and the descriptions of the characters were just enough to let me picture them, without being over-narrating or anything.
I already feel connected to the character, too. Such an awkward situation - ouch. I could feel her discomfort and her regret throughout it, without you needing to state how she was feeling outright. The dialogue between Hazel, Rebecca, and Will was great.
There was a little bit of info-dumping at parts, like when it was describing her job. I feel like that could be introduced more subtly, through a conversation with another character or something, rather than thrown in like that.
Overall, it was great. I enjoyed reading it, and it seems like a very promising story already. I can't wait to read more of this, so please update soon! :)
| Kiki Gardens chapter 1 . 2/25/2010
Love itt! I want more haha.