|Reviews for Her Knives|
| Zingaresa chapter 1 . 8/15/2010
When I started reading this, I was at first a little worried that it would be a classic case of "shy high school girl, perfect high school guy." As I read on, though, I was pleasantly surprised. You did a good job of staying in the main character's head, which added to the creepy factor. There were a couple of places where the POV bothered me-here, for instance: "She smiled again, an evil smile." -Is she looking at her own smile? How does she know it's evil? Is this a thing she's consciously thinking about?
For the most part, I liked that you gave neither "her" nor "him" names. There was only one place where it got confusing, right at the beginning: "Excuse me," the ice-pick demanded.
She turned to look up with a straight face at the source of the voice that made her want to hurt kittens; Fresca."Yes?"
It took me a moment to realize that the "she" there was your main.
What else... The scene change at the beginning threw me-you started with your main in the school hall, and then suddenly she was in her bedroom but there was no obvious signal to put me there. Just... one minute, hallway, next minute, not.
I liked the significance you attached to the knives-like they were teddy bears. Though, I wondered why she killed Fresca with a scalpel instead of one of her own knives, which she certainly seems to appreciate more. Or at least, I'd think she would. As it is, the knives serve as a good point of illustration for the nature of your character, but don't really have much of a part in the story in and of themselves.
Oh! One more thing: "To her, Fresca was an anorexic bulimic shrinky-dink of a Gremlin that had been fed past midnight." -I loved this sentence. I seriously lol'd. I'd get rid of either anorexic or bulimic for rhythm's sake, and I don't think I'd capitalize gremlin, but it's still a great description. Especially the part where you compare her to a shrinky-dink.
That's all. Over all, kudos!
| Green Gummy Bear chapter 1 . 8/15/2010
WOW! AMAZING! That was crepy and the part where she lashed out with the scalpel was really unexpected! When I read it my stomache lurched. I love how we never hear his name. It adds anoth element to the story... I just cant think of what it is. Not exactly mystery but...hmm...Ill get back to you on that...
But anyhow. I like how there is nothing in the story that doesnt need to be in it.
Its a great story. I think carving his number into her hand just adds question to whats going to happen in the end.
I am definatly rereading this.
| Types Of Greed chapter 1 . 7/28/2010
It's a nice story, very well written, although horror isn't usually for me. This story was ok, it was like a twisted, demented fairy tale. A nice read, but not something you'd want to read at one a.m.
| marceline the vampire queen chapter 1 . 5/10/2010
Deep, strong, chilling...I like it. The imagination and especially originality is very persuasive.
| Miss Rosemary chapter 1 . 4/18/2010
Creepy. But I liked it. I always held that teasing and bullies were the real problems behind troubled people in schools.
I like the names she calls Fresca in her head. It gives her more of a voice. And you gave me a surprise there, when she carved his number I thought she would end up just being a cutter, but you took it to the extreme!
Btw, any symbolism with Fresca's red hair related to blood? Just a thought.
| metacognitive chapter 1 . 3/14/2010
I'm practically squealing with joy right now. ::panics:: Oh gosh, I'm as crazy as her!
But it's a great story, very twisted, almost but not quite macabre. I like her...reactions, the way her mind behaves. Very good. I really like it.
PS: Isn't it funny, that this story (I feel) flows pretty well despite being a parody and yet others pour their time and soul into stuff that reads like TESwaANP? And yes, FP is addicting, I'm so ashamed D;
| 91816119 chapter 1 . 3/13/2010
That was a really good story. Although, there were a few grammatical errors, they didn't always come up, so I'm guessing they were accidental. Possibly a bit over-dramatic, but the way you wrote it gave me the idea that the main character was possibly dyslexic or autistic, or something along those lines...?
Please read my stories :P
| Rainford chapter 1 . 3/7/2010
I think this is really good. When I first started reading it, it seemed like an average high-school-drama story, but it got better and better in the short amount of text.
Once I got to the part where she pulls out the knives from under her bed, I was like, "Whoah, crepy!"
If your goal was to write an excellent, scary, short-story that pulls the reader in and gives them shivers, you certainly did that.
The end was wonderfully creepy, and I really enjoyed reading the whole thing. I look forward to reading more from you.
| Avery H chapter 1 . 2/27/2010
I Really Really Like This Story.