Reviews for FablesofFantasy
ForeverNotHere chapter 12 . 1/8/2011
Guh . . . x.o Sorry it took me so long just to read and review. I've been busy. But, I'll make it up to you. .

So far, so good. . I wonder if you can somehow make this into a deeper plot. I dunno, with uncertainty? Multiple POVs? The fighting is as phanomenal as ever, but h'bout adding a bit more than just fighting, eh?

Well . . . I do have 2 complaints here . . . but, it will eventually turn long and ranty, so I'll only say it if you want to hear. .

Well, basically, other than the two complaints, you're doing great! Keep updating! Even if I can't keep up, keep writin'! o
iRaidRet117 - my FF.net name chapter 1 . 11/9/2010
I have to admit, i have not read this chapter, however leaving a review here seemed like the best way to contact you. I was wondering if when you said in your fictionpress bio that all of your stories are on hold if that meant too. I was just wondering if bleached black book 2 was ever going to grt finished, if not, I'm not one of those ppl who would chew you out about it, but some notice on your FF profile would be nice for those of us who check up on it every few months or so, just to be dissapointed with no story update or status update. Also, about this story I'm posting on, was this based off of the .hack series?
Brandi Heir chapter 12 . 8/17/2010
i kind of like yul. he's a funny character.

YAY! new chapter! long time no update huh? anyway, awesome update, worth the wait.
Green Gummy Bear chapter 2 . 8/17/2010
Whoa! Dude, no pressure! This is the best ficpress ever!
Green Gummy Bear chapter 1 . 8/17/2010
BEST! STORY! EVER! Where did you get this idea! It's amazing!
xRayne wolfx chapter 3 . 7/4/2010
Lots of fighting on, sweetness. I like Vann, he's turnin out to be my favorite character for this story. Keep it up )

Rayne
Brandi Heir chapter 11 . 7/4/2010
ugh, just pull the cliff hanger card why dont ya? like the way this going. update soon!
xRayne wolfx chapter 2 . 6/26/2010
I like it so far, though I gotta say this story sorta feels like .Hack sign 0. But thing is, I can tell that you have different ideas with this and I'm willing to follow this story to the end -

Your characters are funny as hell and your plot sounds cool. I look forward to more

Rayne
this wild abyss chapter 1 . 6/24/2010
From the Roadhouse:

- “Coming to a halt the person frowned.” There should be a comma after ‘halt.’

- “…I don't [even] know what the boss [even] is…” You used the same word twice really close together, and it sounds wrong. I suggest getting rid of the second one.

- “Grabbing Adan as he ran past him Rallen sped down the dark tunnel.” You should put a comma after ‘him.’

- Okay during the whole exchange, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out which boy was Rallen and which was Adan. If I were you, I would definitely go back and clear that up, because it’s really tiring to go back five times to try and figure out which guy was which.

- You often forget apostrophes when dealing with possessive nouns. You should go back and fix them.

- All of a sudden you started capitalizing ‘snake.’ Was there a reason for the abrupt change?

- Whoa! I noticed LOTS of spelling mistakes after you transitioned out of the game.

- You seem to capitalize random words in a sentence quite often.

- In my opinion, you could leave off most of your ‘heh’ and ‘hyah’ and other non-word dialogue you included. It isn’t necessary, and I find it faintly annoying.

Okay, so I didn’t have a problem with the length of the chapter. I didn’t seem that bad to me. But I did have a problem with your writing. No matter how amazing your plot might be, I find that multiple errors are distracting and take away from the experience. Might I suggest a Beta?
Brandi Heir chapter 10 . 6/11/2010
with every chapter, it gets more and more exciting. not sure what i think about the two new girls but i'll wait and see. hoping for more soon!
Typing Typhoon chapter 4 . 6/11/2010
Your A/N hit it spot on. Great fic. That, and I never seem to stop finding amusement from all of the old school RPG references in the fic. :)
Typing Typhoon chapter 3 . 6/11/2010
Hey, wazzap? It's been awhile since I last dropped in on your fics. Great improvement here, this fic is looking great. Characterization, scene description, and grammar are all in top order. Write on! New favorite.
lili999 chapter 1 . 6/5/2010
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seredemia chapter 9 . 6/3/2010
Well, I don't really know what to review on because I already beta you D. Anyway, I'm really enjoying reading all the interaction between the characters. You can really tell they're good friends! I love it when Vann's real life seems to collide with his 'fantasy' life. It's nice too see what's happening to him in the outside world (i.e getting told off by teachers...). The only criticism that I have is that you tend to depend on dialogue. I would love to read more about what they're feeling or what their thoughts are. Aside from that, keep writing! (Oh, and I'll try to beta your chapter this week when I have time)
Kobra Kid chapter 2 . 6/1/2010
A good chapter overall! I got confused sometimes about who was talking since you really didn't say that much. Also, Vann, Rallen and Aden all sound the same, so maybe (in the future) you could mix it up a little bit! Besides that, excellent job! I really do enjoy this! :).

-B. Cross

-Payback via Rise From The Ashes? Thanks! :D.
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