I thank Heavenfell too! o Less grammer mistakes, a bit more descriptions! Yay~! o

Ooh, suspeense . . . o Bad guy Camper, right? For now . . .

Hmm . . . So, when will the intro arc finish? The real action usually is a lot more exciting, to be very blunt.

Wow, you really improved this chapter!

This story reminds me of .hack (do you know that game..?). I friggin love that game/anime, so this story's really enjoyable for me.

Anyway, update soon! You can send me your next chapter once you're done.

In respone to your author's note; I don't think anyone will be left out here. Aside from what you had covered in the first chapter everything else is pretty much universal (such a MP, for instance).

Anyway, the story was good. It could use a bit more coloring for the scenes and such, but nothing much. Aside from that you have a strong plot going. I was also pleasantly surprised by the amount of reiews you had recieved regardless of the duanting submission size.

If that isn't a testament to writing talent, then I don't what is. Lest you have a plaque or some type of lisence certifying your talent... I dunno, now I'm stuck in a rant... :)

Great job, anyway.

O.o I would be wickedly surprised if some random lady's face appeared on my screen. O.o "Blue" . . .? I feel bad for that Matrix Key . . . Wait . . . MATRIX? Like that movie . . .? And, and . . . O.o Either way, I like the ideas so far. _ But, I feel like there's no definite ending to this. O.o Hopefully, there is.

Heheh, I like how you explained everything. _ Hopefully, the fundemantals aren't that long and the story can procede to the real action soon. o

I really like how this is going, and all the ideas you're having. _

Oh . . . This has like a "Final Fantasy (Final Fable, Final Fantasy. XD Smooth! _)," "Fire Emblem," ".Hack (x, GU2 or something . . .)" and "Fate/Stay night ("Are you all right, Master?" sorta reminded me of that . . .) Great! A big batch of different things all in one huge idea! o I like that.

Hmm, I'll read the next chapter before I make one of my full-blown reviews. _ So far, I like how it's going. Yep, longest chapter you posted so far~! Sorry I couldn't read it until later. O.o I had so much things to do . . .

Hehe, you have talent for making your characters seem real. Blue's cold personality was hilarious, and I found myself laughing when she called Vaan a clueless brat. Your writing and dialogue is witty and funny, and Im really enjoying this!

I like the idea of this story! The plot is really unusual and interesting so far! You have a way of creating atmosphere and mood in your writing, which is really good! I look forward to the next chapter.

P.S. I hate writing first chapters too...

Very cool premise. I don't think I've seen another futuristic themed fantasy fic in here since my own. The plot is great; though you have some minor grammatical errors littered throughout the dialogue.

As a bit of advice I suggest cutting this chapter in half; right after Vann finds the card. Few people have the attention span to sit through a grueling 50 word submission, this will scare away a good deal of your potential reviewers. Aside from that, great job!