A great read. I really liked the personifications, especially "Outside, the dew-dipped grass shifted in the wind. Shuffling itself, a pack of green playing cards.", and the metaphors you used.

The only critisim i have is that there was little emotion. The girl didn't seem sad enough, i think it would be better if you put in more emotion, so the reader can really understand and feel for her.

Other than that it was very good.