|Reviews for Guardian Angel|
| MeAsIAm chapter 1 . 4/6/2010
Nice opening. Eye catching. :)
The sun that had lighted up my small kitchen eventually.. - should it be 'lit up'?
In the same sentence again, I think it would be better to refer the kitchen as 'our kitchen'. As Catilin has left the house just before the sentence comes in the text, it sounds odd.
The curiosity about what Catilin has done was nicely brought in the story.
| Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 3/8/2010
This was a sweet story. :) I love how simple it was and the gentle imagery you used.
Good job and good luck in WCC!
| Tawny Owl chapter 1 . 3/8/2010
Wonderful opening. Points for humour and disgusting imagery. And the mother's humour was fun too. And Josh's reaction was just so boyish and smug. Ok, I'm so hooke dif I've commente don your first three lines without getting any further. Brilliant way to bring me straight into the action and set the scene.
The mystery of 'what Caitlin' did tightens the hook. It's great that you ahve the confidence to not blurt it out right away.
The bit about trusting her feet was good, but odd. Mostly becasue people don't really make a habit of trusting otyer people's feet so why would she mention that she trusts hers over everyone elses. Or did you mean she trusts her feet over people generally? Does that make sense?
Breath being the only music was nice.
You introduce the baby with such compassion as well. It's not over the top or cliche, and I like that we come to him/her through memories of Nick.
The description toward sthe end was beautiful, although it did make the run up to the end of the chapter feel abit slow.
The mention of the angel at the end was a good way to finish. iIt hinted at more of a story and made me want to find out more.
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 3/7/2010
A very sweet little story here-unique usage of the prompt too. There are some great descriptions and the scene with finding the North Star really stuck out for me. I think you handled the dialogue and character interaction well. It also came to a fitting ending and it left me thinking about it for a few moments after I finished reading. Good luck with the WCC!
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 3/6/2010
This was a really nice little story. There are some grammar/usage issues here and there, but overall, it's really a special story. A very unique take on the prompt. That's part of what I love about the WCC - it's so interesting to see how differently people interpret the prompts. Lovely. Keep writing and good luck in the WCC! :)