|Reviews for Valiant|
| MidniteLayce chapter 11 . 12/13/2010
And so the plot continues to thicken deliciously. ;) I was very excited to see that you'd updated so quickly. The tension between Ava and Henry is driving me crazy (in a good way), but I like that you aren't rushing their relationship. And I feel for poor Saxon, but at least his episodes are under more control now. Also, I haven't really mentioned any supporting characters, but I adore them all. Ryan and Ginny are so great together; Bryda creeps me out/makes me angry; and Kell, Cody, George, and Kaylie make me laugh/are great friends.
I do have to mention that there are a few grammatical errors and that changing between scenes and sometimes between perspectives can get a bit confusing. But other than those few details (which really don't bother me much), Valiant is fantastic! :) Here's to another wonderful chapter and to many more!
| MidniteLayce chapter 8 . 12/12/2010
My gosh! This story is getting epic! ;)
I am really, really enjoying Valiant The plot is unraveling nicely (I have tons of questions but also hope that they will be answered in time, and- unlike countless stories out there- I'm enjoying the journey), the characters are endearing and realistic (you know, as realistic as vampires can be lol), and I simply cannot wait to read more! I just wanted to leave you a quick review and gush for a while; you deserve much more exposure and props than what you seem to be getting. I'm loving this story! :D
| MidniteLayce chapter 5 . 12/11/2010
I am very glad that I have rediscovered this story. :) It's written exceptionally well, and I am intrigued by the characters and their stories. I have paused in reading only long enough to let you know that I am most definitely a fan.
| Follow-The-Spiders chapter 10 . 12/11/2010
For the previous chapter:
The Lion King!I love it!
You might want to edit the structure of your story. Try separating paragraphs according to change in scenes/location (like a Shakespearean play).
| Follow-The-Spiders chapter 8 . 12/11/2010
There are far too many vampires stories these days, however, I find yours much more interesting.
For one, there is action; not a lot (which I prefer), but enough of it.
Secondly, your take on the vampires is slightly different; the Daywalkers and the Nightwalkers, as well as the difference in a person's scent and the reflection of their emotions in their scents.
I found that bit very interesting (the scents and the emotions tied in with it).
Keep it up.
| Follow-The-Spiders chapter 7 . 12/11/2010
This chapter confused me. How did Saxon know that the others were like Henry, but darker?
You might want to edit this chapter, seeing as how it's somewhat confusing.
However, I have to say, it is intriguing, your story that is.
Keep it up.
| Follow-The-Spiders chapter 5 . 12/11/2010
Just a suggestion: you should put up the location of where the chapter takes place. For example, in the Artemis Fowl books, the place and the country is always given.
You could try that, and also try and giving it a title. Or since you're focusing on three people (at least that's what I've determined so far), then you should have their names written on the top of the chapter so that it's clear who you are focusing on.
| Follow-The-Spiders chapter 2 . 12/11/2010
You don't say, "painful all over." That's incorrect. Instead, you should say, "It was painful." Or, "Every part of his body was in pain."
Again, a little too chunky paragraphs. You should try and space them out.
| Follow-The-Spiders chapter 1 . 12/11/2010
It's interesting how you've made two different types of Vampires; the third kind is interesting too.
However, it feels like an overload of information; maybe you could write it with a bit more dialogue or something? Probably that's just me because I don't like heavy paragraphs. Nonetheless, this has piqued my attention.
Keep it up.
| Eat-The-Meak chapter 10 . 12/10/2010
So far it's really really good. You're sense of imagery is amazing and the way you describe everything gives me a crystal clear image in my head. Currently my only potential problem is that Henry seems to have lost the beautiful, dark, aloof attitude he started with. But, it's understandable I suppose; often times the personality you initially see isn't what a person is "really" like. Either way I look forward to seeing how everything plays out.
| Eat-The-Meak chapter 7 . 12/10/2010
Wait, wait, wait. How could Saxon (cool name, btw) know enough about Henry to say "like you, but darker" but then not realize he's a vampire? I'm somewhat really confused :(
| Eat-The-Meak chapter 5 . 12/10/2010
"Not if it helps you sleep. I would not be one to deny dreams" may be the best response I've ever heard. I all but laughed myself silly over that one. :]
| Eat-The-Meak chapter 3 . 12/10/2010
Oh, I loved it after the first chapter, and somewhat hope for a bit of romance between Bryna and Henry, despite what the mini synopsis says. haha. I didn't want to blow your story up with a comment on every chapter, but realized that if it were my story I'd love to have a bunch of comments to look forward to. Hopefully we think alike. I'll try to hold back a little, though. haha
| Danica West chapter 7 . 6/23/2010
Great Chapter! I wonder where you are going with this and I love the fact that I don't know it. Most fics around here are so predictable.. and as I mentioned before, it's refreshing to read something that's not rushed.
Henry seems like quite the character; I love him already. And the background story about him and Ryan was cute :) (cute is not really the word, but you know what I mean!)
Keep up the good work. You deserve more reviews.
| Danica West chapter 5 . 3/31/2010
I loved the first chapter - your description of how Henry is on his knees, soaked in blood and dirt, was just perfect. I could easily picture the whole setting in my mind.
the next chapters were good too. Seems to me like you're slowly trying to get the story going, introducing each character and plot without rushing too much.
But the Henry and Bryda chapters were definitely my favorites. Can't wait to read more :)
Oh, and I really envy the way you write. The flow of dialogue and descriptions are nicely done. Wish I could do that
Now chew on that and start typing me a new chapter!