|Reviews for Pretend|
| Lomesa chapter 1 . 5/19/2010
| The lone canine chapter 1 . 4/13/2010
~To The Music Critic~
Before I praise this song, I would like to say to anyone out there who has read this, even if a song doesn't have rhyming words, doesn't mean it isn't a song, or it doesn't work. You need to think about it, and try and imagine how it would piece together. It might not be easy here, but I can do it, anyone can do it, just try.
~Now to ILoveMyPersonalTwistedEdward~
I like the meaning of this song, even if it is a little cliche or overused, the theme to it works nicely with the lyrics, so that makes up for the minor issues. I also like how you spaced each part of this song with Verse and Sub-Chorus, so that at least the readers could know when the Chorus was and when a verse was. Nice work,
| The Music Critic chapter 1 . 3/12/2010
I love the fact that your song doesn't sound too whiney. However, if you didn't want critisism, you wouldn't have posted it on this site, so I have a few pointers.
The idea is overdone in so many cliched pop-tune records. "I am searching for the reason I love you." That line really made me hear this song as a hannah montana vibed song.
Also, your sentences are very...non-sentence like. Try writing a short story and fix the lines to rhyme. All the best music tells a story.
Speaking of rhyming...
There is none! I couldn't detect the slightest amount of rhyme or rhythm in this song what so ever. I usually like the faded, illusive rhyme, but this didn't even have that.
Try not to sound too rambley in your songs, also. "Why won't you make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world?" "Does it not matter?" "Do you not worry?" "Why won't you listen?" "Why can't you show it?"
This song owuld be a lot better...as a duet. A girl and a boy. With the boy answering some of these questions. You're portraying females as needy, and it's a bit unsettling.
Despite how you might take this comment, it's not intended as a hate rant, just critisism.
The Music Critic.