|Reviews for When the Lone Wolf Cries|
| Lee Daniel chapter 4 . 10/24/2010
I really like the way you opened this chapter. Instead of just having Chance grumpy at the tardiness, showing the progression of time and his attitude was well done. I also enjoy the way you draw a little bit of light on Chance's past at teh end of the chapter. It still leaves questions but allows your readers to relate more to him.
| S. M. Saves chapter 4 . 7/5/2010
"Chance grunted and paces several steps in front of the building.": Be care not to flip-flop the verb tenses.
Devin really went out on a limb kicking Chance's shin. I almost expected him to be a bit of a pushover around Chance, especially after that nightmare in the previous chapter. Nice to see that there's a sign he can hold his own against Chance.
Now we know somewhat why Chance behaves the way he does. Looks like Devin hit the nail right on the head with the whole traumatic incident hypothesis.
I hope to learn more about Devin in the chapters to follow. His character is still kind of vague in comparison to Chance.
| S. M. Saves chapter 3 . 7/5/2010
Thumbs up to the nightmarish mauling. One thing you might consider adding. I know this is a dream sequence and differs from reality but since it seems that Devin can smell (sweat) and taste (blood) does he feel the wolves shredding him to pieces? Sure he screams and the wolves sure do a number on him but does he feel pain, see bright lights flashing in front of his eyes, etc? Or does he scream out of fear?
Chance is a bit of a creeper, knowing the details of Devin's nightmare. There's apparently more to be known about him. And I wonder if Mr. Fisher has something to do with any of this?
Moving right along.
| S. M. Saves chapter 2 . 6/20/2010
(This review is going to cover chapters 1 and 2)
I'm real envious of your prologue (ch. 1). I assume the scene takes place somewhere in the middle and it's the perfect way to get the reader hooked in with the promise of something good to come. Whenever I try that stunt, by the time I get to that point in the story it's already changed and I end up scrapping the whole prologue. Grr!
Still on the prologue, I think you managed to cover all the senses (the smell of the gasoline and blood, the sound of the intact windows breaking, etc). The fire being reflected in the cross was my personal favorite.
Ironic how Chance has this I-hate-everyone personality, yet he's the "most talked about student". I thought his personality clashed with that description but later on when the students were telling Devin about Dominiko, I understood the reason behind him being the most talked about and could only think "Ouch!". Seems like he's the most feared. Once one really thinks about it, it's kind of nice reading about a character like Chance. He wears all black (with black nail polish) and is a loner yet Mr. Bartson said he was his best student so he seems alright academicwise. A common stereotype would be to cast him as a class skipper who smokes pot. So kudos on breaking the mold.
I'm not quite sure what to make of Devin. Too soon to call. But that's cool, he just entered the story and I'm sure I'll find out more once I read on.
Btw, "a cross between pine sap and bacon". How did you manage to come up with that? XD
| Kobra Kid chapter 12 . 5/21/2010
Yay! That was such a great ending! :D. I really loved it! With Chance burning down the house, which was just so amazing, and then Devin and just alkfjalkjflakjf! :3. Hehe, please come out with the next book soon! I
| Kobra Kid chapter 11 . 5/21/2010
Wow, so Devin isn't your typical kid. :). I wonder who he really is and what he has to do with Serity. This is all so very interesting that it keeps you utterly hooked. :). I also like how Chance said he needed time to think, very realistic. Great job on this! ;D. Onto the last chapter T.T
| Kobra Kid chapter 10 . 5/19/2010
Okay, first off the song is obviously One by Metallica! :D. I hope it is. :3.
Anyways, back to the story. That was amazing! :D. You did very well with the suspense and it all flowed perfectly. Hmm, I wonder if the Prowlers are from another planet or dimension. And I wonder WHO exactly Chance is. Great job on this, seriously! :D.
*I'll read more once I get a chance. Time to go to Biology haha.
| Kobra Kid chapter 9 . 5/19/2010
Oh shit! D: Chance and Devin? What's going on. T.T. I really hope Uncle Harold is okay...and I wonder who the hell this murderer/rapist guy is.
On another note, though, you did really well capturing Chance's new respect towards Devin. Seriously, awesome character development! :D.
Onto the next chapter!
| Kobra Kid chapter 8 . 5/18/2010
Aww, that was so sweet at the end! :D. I'm glad Chance finally let all of his emotions out, you did a superb job at it btw! I also loved how Devin didn't give up until Chance broke, which he needed to do. Great job! Seriously, this is so great!
| Kobra Kid chapter 7 . 5/18/2010
Oh wow, the plot thickens! :D. Yayy! I love, love, love it. :). Sanders is great, I love him also. To hell with it, I love all of the characters! xD. Except for the murderers, of course. Everything was excellently written and you are really talented. Onto the next chapter!
| Kobra Kid chapter 6 . 5/18/2010
Oh wow, I do like the Uncle. He's honest, kind and understanding. Chance, though, is my favorite character of coruse! :D. The term, "tall, dark and handsome" echoes in my head everytime I read his name. :3. Hehe, anyways, another great chapter! :D. I love it, and thanks for reviewing RFTA. :). I'll review more of this tonight, I have to go now. But once again, excellent job! Love it!
| JMEM1 chapter 12 . 5/17/2010
Thank-you for clearing that up for me, :P . I was definitely surprised, for sure.
This was a very nice ending, it acted like an epilogue to the conclusion every major plot point, while still leaving the big question open "what happens next?". I'm very much looking forward to finding out the answer, too. :)
About this chapter, I especially liked the part where Chance was looking around his former home as he placed the gas cans everywhere. It was very real, I think that everyone can connect with the feeling of just wanting one last look at something.
I also really liked how you connected the prologue into the story, and I'm glad to see that the burning house was more of a turning point, rather than a tragic destruction of Chance's home and family, like I initially suspected while first reading the prologue. Very symbolic, I thought it was a great way to end the story. :D
Really looking forward to the next installment! :D Fantastic work with this story!
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 8 . 5/17/2010
Man, after not seeing you in The Roadhouse, I thought you've gone MIA from this site. :S Anyway, hopefully ya still remember me. :) Okay, so basically this is an interesting chapter to me mainly because of the fact that the main focus was totally on Chance's character development. It's really heart warming to see the emo wall breaking down due sincere efforts from an outside party. In this area, I really have to take my hat off Devin. And speaking of Devin, I do feel that so far so good, you've done a good job on his character portrayal. Now the one thing that you really need to do next is to develope him as a character. But then again since I'm so far out in reviewing this story, that might have already happened for all I know. Anyway, it will be interesting to see what further developments will occur from the show of affection here. Apart from that, nothing much to say.
P.S: Truly hope you can return this review via The Eternal Grail since you've already started on that one. Just checked and saw that you've stopped at chapter 7. You might need to browse back on the chapters to refresh your memory though since it's been a really long time since you've reviewed. Like maybe one month plus to nearing two months by my estimation.
| JMEM1 chapter 11 . 5/13/2010
I really liked the feel of this chapter. It felt almost conclusive in a way, but you know that it's just about to get exciting again. Like a break in the action, which is something I think is needed every once in a while. :)
Woah! I totally didn't know that Devin was one of the half human half wolves! Was that mentioned last chapter? I must have missed it if it was. I was beginning to wonder half-way through the chapter how Devin knew so much. But now I know, and very interested in finding out what happens next. That was a nice twist. I didn't expect that :)
Can't wait for your next chapter! :D
| JMEM1 chapter 10 . 4/27/2010
Yes! Another chapter! :D I have to say that I was glued to my chair the entire way through, the action and description was amazing. And I’m glad that everyone is okay, I was worried about everyone, even Chance, even though I knew he had to live. :P Great job. I do have a couple of suggestions, but they’re not too big:
“you're stretching my favorite shirt!” – I think perhaps he’d be too worried for his life and the lives of the people he loves to worry about his shirt.
“Harold was kicked straight in the guts and was sent straight back into the wall.” – there’s a bit of repetition with the word “straight” here.
That’s all I noticed, though! And what’s this about a second book? A sequel? :D Does that mean that this one is finished? I’m a tad confused. :P Again, though, fantastic job!