Reviews for Temple Dancer
NinaBinaBallerina chapter 10 . 1/26/2011
love love love!
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Michael Howard chapter 10 . 5/8/2010
Well, as is so often the case with your work, you kept the tension and suspense going until almost the very last words of the story, but Thank the Gods, this one ended exactly the way I hoped it would. Although perhaps 'ended' isn't really appropriate here because you haven't labeled this one as complete and now we have a new generation to contend with as well.

I'm quite satisfied with this work as is, but should you be planning more visits to Ancient Greece, I'd be very happy with that as well.

Which is exactly the place you left me in when "Freedom Bound" ended!
Narq chapter 10 . 5/7/2010
yaya you updated!

I love the way you implied that our wonderful herroine is with child, finally! :D
Michael Howard chapter 9 . 4/26/2010
"I know what is like to fight the Fates."

What IT is like...

"All that was needed now was for Timo to come home so she could tell him her choice."

Uh huh. That should go over well...

Timo is going to be royally, no better make that democratically, pissed off at his mother when he gets home!
Narq chapter 9 . 4/23/2010
Oh! The day I have time to read, you update! This is amazing!

I love the way you can flesh out characters so effortlessly and wonderfully. It's just a pleasure reading your works!
Michael Howard chapter 8 . 4/20/2010
"The sun beat them mercilessly, and Timo measured the pass of time but the ache of its glare in his eyes."

Shouldn't that be 'BY the ache... '

A very powerful and moving chapter this, especially since the Syros (mis)adventure here seemed to come out of nowhere (at least to this reader). I'm not sure yet how it will tie with the whole Serrae and Timo dilemma but certain vague possibilities come to mind.

"Those boys would no more part with their hard-won coin for a slave than obey a woman."

A wonderful line that, funny and perfectly representitive of the time you're writing about.

On the other hand (isn't there always one of those!) the names Andreas, Stavros, Stephanos, and Gregorios, while Greek in origin, all have Christian associations that make them seem a bit anachronistic when used in a story about Classical Greece.

Or so it appeared to me.
Narq chapter 8 . 4/18/2010
I must say that it's astounding how easily you led be into Syros' heart. I had little/no idea who he was at the start of the chapter, but at the end of it, my love goes out to him completely and I find that I feel for him so much!

Greatness!
Michael Howard chapter 7 . 4/14/2010
Generally speaking this was an enjoyable chapter but the part that should have been the highlight for me, the scene with Serrae and Timo together, was actually a bit frustrating because I'm not sure what signals were being exchanged there. Was Serrae's non verbal response to the question of who should Timo marry a sign of her conflicted feelings about him, or instead proof of the intensity of her love for him? In any event he seems to have interpreted it badly. I say 'seems' because I don't know what 'Kallos' is supposed to mean. Was that explained earlier? If so I missed it.

Ah well, looking forward to the next installment - for a couple of reasons!
Narq chapter 7 . 4/13/2010
por por Seerrae,

you do the emotions so well here.

I love it love it love it!

and Niko and Andronika are so cute! though I'm thinking how they'll be like when they're older :P
Michael Howard chapter 6 . 4/13/2010
Impressive physical prowess on display here but I'm thinking that fighting ability alone will not keep Timo and Serrae together in the way he hopes.

Good chapter.
Nar chapter 6 . 4/10/2010
I've got to say this is one of my favourite chapters out of everything I've read so far.

I just so love Timo's silent danger, and the friends he's got. He's got all those cool lines

And he makes me blush! /
Nicki BluIs chapter 1 . 4/8/2010
Hello!

My sincerest apologies for this extremely belated prize review! I'll spare you the excuse because they are all lame.

ANYWAY. This piece was interesting. I really got into in the beginning but I don't feel like the text itself hooked me. I think you relied too much on the "previously on" section to draw the reader in. It worked but perhaps you should have made the opening itself stronger. The one thing that did stand out to me was your description of Hestia. Goddess of wives and slaves. Well played :P

The world building was very well done I feel. I'm not sure how much research you did, nor how authentic your descriptions were but I believed what you were saying and that's really all that matters.

Serrae's relationship with Timo bothers me. Nothing wrong with it writing wise I suppose but... it is so Pretty Woman! i know it's a different context but still they fit the hooker/rich guy cliche so well; it's kind of sad :( 'Cuz there is so much wrong with that movie and the whole cliche in genral and now I'm projecting it all onto your characters which admittedly is a bit premature but still...

Kallis didn't seem to have much of role in this chap besides being the villain. I thought her character could have been developed a little bit more so as to give her more depth and to give that particular scene more significance.

The chap ending was weak I think. It was cliffhanger but not all that tantalizing. Like I didn't feel the need to take the leap so to speak to find out what happens.

Overall I think it was a solid chap and a good foundation. Keep at it and I hope it goes well!

Congrats on WCC!

Nicki
Michael Howard chapter 5 . 4/5/2010
"Ten he turned and fled."

THEN he turned and fled

"No longer having the strength to keep her legs strong beneath her, Serrae She collapsed into Timo's arms."

Take out the She

"If she couldn't marry him, how you she marry anyone?"

Change 'you' to 'could'

But even if you fix up the wording of that question, there still doesn't seem to be an easy answer.
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