Absolutely beautiful use of words, I love it.

i like this piece.

sometimes, it's hard to tell who's alive,

and who's simply breathing.

the only thing i would say is that

the repetition of body in the first few lines was awkward.

one too many, and one too few.

it wasn't a full-blown attempt at repetition,

but it wasn't just a mere mention of "body", either.

i feel like there's a deeper meaning to body that you're trying to convey,

but i just can't see it.