Reviews for Everything Against, Coming Together
Cecilia A chapter 5 . 4/30/2010
Whoa that was fast... Okay then... You seem to be catapulting it into a fantasy world where everything is perfect. O_o

Cecilia A chapter 4 . 4/30/2010
The choir room went from purple to brick in two sentences, unless they're purple bricks. Haha, choir is my second period too. :)

Wow, random ending... haha.

Cecilia A chapter 3 . 4/30/2010

that is all.


PS, proofread this one. A couple contradictions.
Cecilia A chapter 2 . 4/30/2010
Wow, she's got absolutely no sense of danger, does she? This was WAY fast, and I thought I was rushing it with my story. I'd make a serious effort at moving this chapter to the middle of the story and coming up with some other way for them to meet, it just simply is not realistic. give info about side characters (and main characters) throughout the story instead of all at once. (Or maybe that is just me liking to string people along. :) )

You also switch from first person to third, going from Emma's POV to knowing what Sam is thinking. Unless she's a mind reader, I'd come up with some other way to convey his thoughts. 'He looked so confused blah blah blah'.

Other than the extreme speed and recklessness about this/her I'm enjoying it. :)
Cecilia A chapter 1 . 4/30/2010
There were a few tense issues, and slight contradictions here and there. It went a bit fast, I'd throw in some more description and try to draw it out a bit.

It seems to me that she's more like an ungrateful teenager than abused. She has a phone, a laptop, a car, and money to burn. She has chores and a nagging mother like most teens, the hitting and her reaction to it seemed out of place. Very emotional girl here, seems very drama-queen like to me.

Other than that it's good, you have a nice vocabulary and style. :)

Isis P chapter 6 . 4/6/2010
Sam and Emma forever.

If you split them up I will tackleglomp you.

Just sayin'

Anywho, I like this chapter a lot.

I like that Nathan is ~inlove~ with Emma.

Emma is definitely better with Sam, he's so much better for her.
Isis bby chapter 1 . 4/6/2010

The ending is pawsome.

I like your writing styles, you have a combination of Nicolas Sparks, James Paterson, and a little twist of yourself.


I can't wait to read more chapters.
chewychester chapter 2 . 3/17/2010
Alright, here is the review. I'm dying here. What a cliffhanger. I want a hot 8 pack!:P
chewychester chapter 4 . 3/15/2010
Great story!Loved that fiery ending. All that smooching.