Reviews for Erestina: Rebirth
Prinnydood02 chapter 40 . 7/25/2010
You've certainly loaded your Machine Gun of Revelations haven't you? How is Baylor supposed to accept the news that his parents are dead and his sister wants nothing to do with him? It's sad, really.

I think hugs are nice. I don't see many of those anymore in favor of overdone, cliche, see-them-from-a-mile-away passionate kisses. Though seeing James and Louisa kiss would just be awkward and I hope it never happens.
Prinnydood02 chapter 39 . 7/25/2010
Cyrus is wound pretty tightly about all of this. I'm pretty sure that's not healthy. Either that or having a burden this heavy on his shoulders is what keeps him going. The more I'm exposed to his mannerisms, the more I get attached to him for some reason, though maybe he could use a bit of loosening up. That's what makes him a good foil for both Erestina and Johanna.

On a slightly related note, Cyrus's mother was never mentioned. Is she ever going to be brought up, because I'd like to see if his parents have anything to do with why he's always by the Princess's side.
Prinnydood02 chapter 38 . 7/25/2010
It's about time things started making sense. This chapter really helped me slot a lot of things in with the previous story, thankfully. One thing I am grateful for is more of a focus on the importance of Cyrus in all of this because he just seemed to be along for the ride while we were just told he was important by his absorption of the Fighter. Maybe now he won't be so conflicted anymore. That'd be nice.

Still waiting on an explanation for Louisa...
Prinnydood02 chapter 37 . 7/25/2010
This was a pretty short chapter, so all I have to say is: What a twist! Cyrus may be more important than he was led on to be.

On to the next chapter!
Ghost chapter 50 . 7/24/2010
Moving right along. Keep it up. It is a very good story.
JuniperRhose chapter 8 . 7/18/2010
Aww...I really wish he'd woken Megan to at least tell her what's going on.

One thing to fix that I noticed: you say "Baylor swept past Louisa and opened his door." but I'm pretty sure Louisa isn't there. :)
JuniperRhose chapter 7 . 7/18/2010
Oh dear. I hope Baylor's okay!

Also, James is totally James.
JuniperRhose chapter 6 . 7/18/2010
Sad that he lied to her... :(
JuniperRhose chapter 5 . 7/18/2010
First off, I think the attack from the Forces was really cool, but I would have liked more description about exactly what it looked like (I'm picturing a really big Rhinoceros beetle right now) and more information on Baylor. I know you want to keep him mysterious, but I would love more description even on what he was wearing or looked like. We know he was wearing a coat even though it was warm, but not much more.

He's TOTALLY the real James. I'm sure of it!

It doesn't really sound like this King has much power at all. The forces come fairly randomly, rather than when the nations disobey him. Perhaps he set them free but in the end couldn't control them?

Please forgive my musings. I think that maybe it's helpful to let you know what the reader is thinking, but if you'd like me to stop sending you walls of text, feel free to tell me! :D

The end of this chapter makes him seem more distant from Megan, which is too bad 'cuz they seemed to be forming a bond...
JuniperRhose chapter 4 . 7/18/2010
"or maybe I just got robbed a lot" hahahahaha

Aw

I will assume you know what I mean by that. Lol. :)
JuniperRhose chapter 3 . 7/18/2010
Haha, I love how he caught the boy. Was he a solider or an officer perhaps? Way to give us hints, but keep us wondering. :)
JuniperRhose chapter 2 . 7/18/2010
Once again, I still think it should be lay instead of lied.

I like how you don't forget that he would be dehydrated and starving. It helps your story feel realistic. Well done! :)

I like the explanation for why she names him James, rather than giving him some random name for no reason. Also, it makes me wonder if James really DIDN'T die, he just got sucked to wherever, and Man is really James, so James is the right name for him because he really is James.

But I think you mentioned he was surprised to hear his voice as a man rather than a boy, so I doubt that.

But I still wonder it!
JuniperRhose chapter 1 . 7/18/2010
I think you did an excellent job explaining how Megan treated him when she found him and especially liked the mention of him feeling angry when she left for a moment to get a blanket.

You tend to use "lied down" and I think it should be lay down. Once in the beginning when he's arrived in the cave and once when he's just put on his clothes.

I like this a lot. :) You do a good job of explaining what's going on while still making everything remain mysterious. Really well done!

(also, I realize it's early, but I want loveyness with Megan and Man. But... I'm silly like that, hehe.)
Ghost chapter 46 . 7/14/2010
Cool a few more chapters nice job! will be waiting for more...
xoxlizzie chapter 1 . 7/1/2010
Great start!
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