|Reviews for Erestina: Rebirth|
| moi chapter 2 . 3/21/2010
cute expo. ill read more.
| Prinnydood02 chapter 3 . 3/20/2010
James's amnesia comes off as very childlike. What I mean by that is he's so inquisitive about everything around him. Whenever Megan suggests something, he always follows it up with another question. In a way, their relationship isn't unlike that of a mother and her child. Nice job with that.
I really like the name Ruth for some reason. When I hear it, I think of woman who's smart beyond their years, so that's exactly how I imagined the Ruth in this chapter. The problem is, she kind of ruined Megan and James's budding romance with her accusation of James being a Forces. I hope it all works out for the best between them.
I'm going to be stubborn yet again and say the end gave me hope that James is really Walden. The way he disabled the boy who ran off with Megan's purse doesn't seem like something James would be able to do. I could be beating a dead horse at this point, but oh well...
| Prinnydood02 chapter 2 . 3/18/2010
...Was I wrong? Could it really be James?
No way! I'm going to be ignorant until I get some proof that it really is James. Until then, I'll still believe its Walden. I mean, Megan didn't recognize him or anything. I would think that if James was so important to her, that he would be permanently etched in her mind, right? And as far as I know, Walden and Megan have never met before so its not unreasonable for me to think this way...
I really hope I'm right. But if I am, then that would still leave James unaccounted for...
With everything that happened in this chapter, I'm anticipating a special relationship blossoming between Megan and this enigmatic guy.
| Dave Lee chapter 1 . 3/16/2010
I saw your page through Airblade64 and Sea Turtles' profiles, so I thought I'd drop by. Impulsive as I am, I clicked on the first story and read the first chapter, hence the review :)
I enjoyed it! I think you did a great job of drawing in the reader with this sense of mystery about James and his necklace, and how he is (or was) involved with Megan (I apologize if this is some super-obvious fact from the last part of the story - I haven't read it yet!). Your depiction of amnesia feels more realistic than most, because for most of the chapter James has incredible difficulty with even the most basic human functions. You also did a good job with conveying the subtle, unspoken interactions between James and Megan. I am very curious to read on.
There are a few things that might warrant revision. The very first word of the chapter threw me off a bit. "Suddenly" probably flows better for those who have read from the last part of the story, but for me it was a bit jarring. I also saw "lied" used a few times, when "laid" or "lay" might be more accurate. There are a few instances of awkward construction, but I'd only worry about them when getting down to the nitty-gritty editing stages.
All in all, I'm glad to have dropped by! I'll read the next chapter soon.
| McFisticuffs chapter 1 . 3/15/2010
i guess JAMES.
After all, he suddenly disappeared in the previous one, so it makes sense that he suddenly reappears.
10 years have passed!
another reviewer pointed out Megan...could be a name conicident, but i doubt it. she was def in the first one as the little girl of that family.
I've decided it's james. don't mess this up for me!
| Prinnydood02 chapter 1 . 3/15/2010
I predict this guy is Walden... there, I said it. Now make it true...
But seriously, I like this chapter. Seeing the world through this mysterious man's eyes was cool. It was like being a child and not knowing how to do anything, yet having an understanding of exactly what's going on around me, if that makes any sense. Though the way he entered was bizarre, with the world tearing open and everything...
If I remember correctly, Megan was one of the girls James and Louisa met during their first trip to Market City. It's been so long since I read Unification that I could be wrong, though.
There are two things I'd like to see in Rebirth: Walden being revived (if you haven't noticed, Walden is my favorite character), and the return of Roth and Joy Angel. I said Joy was my favorite villain and I meant it. I don't think she got any time to shine in the last story.
I will be commenting throughout this story's development. Who knows, maybe my predictions will come true!
| moi chapter 1 . 3/15/2010
great, love it. real easy to read, great grammar and attention to detail, good plot, good characters. i will definitely read more.