Reviews for Downfall
DashingtoFluttershy chapter 36 . 11/15/2010
NO! I''m flipping out now! AH! update soon!
Stephie Callagher chapter 35 . 10/28/2010
Hey :)

I really enjoyed this chapter xD

I dont personally like battle scenes either so i like the vagueness, and i also like how u kinda kept her humanity in there

CLIFF HANGER! :D

I do wish ud maybe had a LITTLE more detail, like maybe someone was about to kill her and someone (maybe not Jack cos thats obvious) But like Adrian of shit wats her name... the chick that used to hate her? That she kinda becam friends with. It wud be awesome if she kinda swooped in and saved her, which wud leave it open (if Jack actually survives) for him to be like AH GUILT! And maybe if the chick died doing it? Or something and Hel wud be like omg... and it wud reall hit home.

Sorry.. this is quite long...

Are you gonna play on the whole 'they told me youd say that' becos its almost like theyve been hypnotised or something.

Also i thought theyd be more of a thought process when Ash and her gave met, becos they were like best friend?

Again, quite long.

So ill rap it up :D

I do love this story, and it has made my almost perfect day pefect :D

Stephie
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooope chapter 35 . 10/28/2010
I have a TERRIBZlE feeling that Olivers gonna be the one to hurt Jack. D:
Bumblebee303 chapter 35 . 10/27/2010
I love it. The whole story, it's great. Can't wait to see what happens next :)
metallicdiamond chapter 35 . 10/26/2010
avoid the nasty stuff! :(
LadyFelton1994 chapter 2 . 9/26/2010
oh hold the phone here Azrael? Jack? It sounds to me that you got the names from the Blue Blood seris not that i dont mind good story so far keep it up!
Bunpire chapter 34 . 9/7/2010
this is so interesting. I love it! Its kinda refreshing! (: Hope you update soon!
Stephie Callagher chapter 34 . 9/6/2010
Honestly? Not my fav chapter.

It was still brilliant, they always are.

Just seemed rushed u know?

LIke you could have given us more detail.

And wth? Why wud u take someones ability away becos its not 'fair' Its war? Since when has war been fair? idk, maybe i missed something.

Looking forward to the next chapter :)
Rosa Anderson chapter 34 . 9/6/2010
o.o Am I the first to post about this chapter? Wow—I am normally on the late-side normally now-a-days. I will send you a pm since you replied to my last review, but I had to read this first. I want to point out one minor spelling error, or rather word confusion maybe. When you were speaking of Jack’s father’s skin you said “Palled” I believe you meant “Paled” I do not expect you to re-submit this post or anything I was just letting you know for your records.

As for this chapter thank you for the insight on why Jack seemed so grim. I figure one or the other will end up dying or at least you have alluded to the possibilities of that happening. I honestly hope neither does die, but as the author it is up to you.

I know, or rather saw someone commented on the sex scene as slightly disappointing because of the build-up you had created. I can see where the person is coming from, but obviously you felt what was written was sufficient enough. I can’t say I was disappointed because I wasn’t, I didn’t expect a rather detailed sex scene, and most authors unless they believe it is needed or if they write erotica for fun/a living they don’t make them very detailed. I believe you left it to the readers’ imagination

Note to Other Reviewers: Please don’t take offense to my comments on that. Everyone has their own opinion and you/they are entitled to yours/their own.

Yeah soo, majorly long review time I guess…

xoxo-Crimson/Monica.
Stephie Callagher chapter 33 . 9/3/2010
So basically one of thems going to die.

Or hes going to have to leave. "No matter what happens tomorrow no how much i love you"

Which hints at him dying, becos she wud have to be alive to possibly doubt his love afterwards. So judging byt that she'll live.

If he doesnt die he'll betray her in some way? Once again refering back to above quote...

hm...

Something thats made him depressed, wanting her, and hes already proved his loyalty...

Yup. I think he'll die.

But thats to obvious... gr...

Ah well... Was amazing as always :D.

Yes i am going to be a perv and wish there was a little more detail in the sex scene. Its just you built us up for so long its kindve dissapointing that we only got a fade to black scene u know? But yeah, i did love it, i liked how u said bro this isnt about u, get over urself. It made it more realistic, cos they hardly know her..

Hahah im gonna stop talking now...

Good work :)

Stephie. C
Rosa Anderson chapter 33 . 9/3/2010
Wow, long-ish chapter, I have to be honest and I seriously hate to admit this, but I honestly didn’t see you updating this. I hate admitting such things, but it had seemed slightly to me that you have partly given up on this story for now to pursue other ideas, which is fine by all means.

As for this chapter: Thank you so much for updating! I kinda love how you depicted all of the kids/teens as every-day kids/teens by being all nervous and then them just sitting around the campfire acting as if it was just any other day and they wouldn’t be fighting the next day to ensure that humankind still existed. I feel bad for Helena, or rather that she blames herself for this, it isn’t completely her fault, she may have been the reason behind it, but she isn’t the one making anyone fight….I love how you made Helena become shatter brained when her and Jack were alone and embracing each other fully. It’s kinda funny, but it’s common sense that you forget anything else while…more interesting things are happening.

Wow, I made that long-ish huh? Sorry! Have fun on your trip if you can, and I look forward to seeing the next chapter. xoxo—Crimson/Monica.
L.I. Night chapter 33 . 9/3/2010
Great chapter I can't wait for you to post the convo Jack and his daddy had but I have a feeling something terrible is gonna happen to him at of the seriousness in his words when they were doing it. I hope you don't kill him off. But overall great chapter One of my favorite stories.
Stephie Callagher chapter 32 . 8/15/2010
Of course i enjoyed this chapter, i enjoy EVERY chapter :)

Cant wait for the next one, this was just what i needed to make my day perfect :D

Stephie. C
Rosa Anderson chapter 32 . 8/15/2010
Hun, when I sent you the message I didn't mean to sound pushy or demanding I meant only to make sure you were okay. I already knew you wouldn't give up on the story, it was YOU who I was worrying for.

Poor Helena :( Pain and suffering, but that is a given. Fair warning a lot of this chapter was written in past tense did you mean to?
Rosa Anderson chapter 31 . 8/1/2010
Hm, what's happened to Helena...? Could it be the build-up from all her powers that she has been using? Or is it just all the stress getting to her finally? Honestly, I am figuring it is what was mentioned in the chapters 'Gwen's Story' and 'Complications and Defects.'
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