|Reviews for Powerless|
| JamesTacitusWhite chapter 2 . 1/30/2011
Bunny is an action filled woman, err Karanthian, and you've unfolded a story that connects my heart to her pains and suffering.
You must finish another chapter, i'd love to find out how the ball and revenge plans turn out!
But to be more constructive, i must give you kudos on the delicate descriptions of how she pains for her home planet. Also the disgust felt after each encounter with master philips. I enjoy the background of the story, it leaves me wanting more info on how the epic battle destroyed man kind and the first encounter with earthlings and the Karanthians. The dynamic relationship between the two is quite entertaining but sadly repeated in our history.
Life as an author is busy so i wish you gods speed on pressing out another chapter and thanks for the read!
| VC chapter 2 . 5/25/2010
Good job on the story so far. The story line is unique. I notice that you seem to skip minor details, like she is sitting down and suddenly you say she is working in the garden talking with her friend. Maybe your just typeing so fast that your mind skips it without a thought. I would sujest that you read through these first(if you don't already), just to make sure that it all makes ence and that the connections are correct.
On another note i know some places and people with a high demand for stories like this, keep it up you could just make it.
| Rio's Desire chapter 2 . 5/24/2010
Very interesting, I would like to read more.
| Bickazer chapter 1 . 3/19/2010
Hmm, I quite liked this.
I'm always interested in relationships between masters and servants, doesn't even have to be romantic. Certainly, though I don't think we'll be seeing much more of Mistress, I find her fascinating and complicated. Bunny is an interesting character too and I think the decision to write this in 1st person was a good call because she has a very strong, distinct voice. You did a good job of establishing her central conflict from the get-go. It's indeed a scary propect to think that the peope who once cared about you might have abandoned you. Ive a thing for fallen hero stories so to see that combined witha master/servant story makes me incongruously delighted.
You do have a few spelling/grammar errors; I noticed in particular that you tended to use "it's" inste of "its." One is a contraction, the other a posessive. To helpfigure out when you should use which, it helps to think "it is" every time you read an "it's." If the sentence sounds weird ("It is claws" intea of "its claws) then you should use "its". Don't worry, it's an easy mistak to make, and you didn't have many others.
I'm very eager to see what happens next with Bunny and her new master. Update soon!