Reviews for David, a portrait
KaenaFolcun chapter 1 . 12/25/2010
this is brilliant- enough so that i read it simply as poetry first, not feeling any of the forced emotion and rhyme and structure as i usually do behind most sestinas :) great job!
Isca chapter 1 . 3/23/2010
"As though I could read it's edges." "It's" should be "its." This line really is fantastic, though. I love that the speaker is attracted to lines of symmetry.

"The ledges of his lips." Lovely alliteration!

"Or the shape of his hands deeper still in his pockets." This is one of my favourite lines. I'm not sure why, exactly, but there's something very subtly sensual about this image that captivates me.

"Merely ledges for our words to plummet from." Excellent writing here. Quite masterful, really.

"All things unbearable." Breathtaking!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem. Keep up the great work, Juliet. :)
Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 3/23/2010
Captivating imagery, and I like the pacing as well, along with the description of the relationship, and conveying of emotions. A great Sestina in my opinion.

Just one thing:

{as though I could read it's edges,} its.