I like the beginning from Father Nature's point of view. Looks like an interesting sub-story. It kind of reminds me of how the Greek gods were always having affairs with mortals, or the war between Titania and Oberon in Shakespeare's "Midsummer." I hope you play this out more.

On a similar note, I wish you would develop the mother's character more. Her dialogue feels very childish and, aside from this little glimpse into the affair, we don't know much about her.

Nice ending to this, though. I like how Prim and Primrose are starting to bond. It seems like they have personalities that balance each other, which should be interesting on the journey.

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As a whole, this is coming along nicely. You have a great concept, but I think the execution could be better if you just took more time with it. I noticed that this has been updated really quickly. Don't be afraid to take the extra time and post farther apart. I find it helps a lot to write the chapter, then come back to it a few days later and fix it up.

Good luck with the rest of this! :D

~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)

General grammatical note: Pay attention to when you mean "your," as in as possessive and "you're," as in the contraction "you are." You've been mixing those up a lot.

Sounds like she has an interesting mission. Once again, i think it was sprung on a little too fast and could use more emotional lead up, but it sounds like it could play out well. I like the personification of mother and Father Nature, and the idea that there's a conflict between the two.

I also like Primrose. It (she?) sounds like a good comic relief character.

Okay, this chapter was /really/ confusing. Honestly, I have no idea what's going on. There's a talking flower, Father Nature is really her father, and her mother's been lying to her...? I had to read this a few times just to get that.

I think part of the problem is that it was hard to tell who was talking. Try to add more dialogue tags so it's easier to follow.

Also, try to stretch this out so it's longer. a lot of action was happening in a very short span of time. Try to work in more physical description or emotional reactions. That will make this longer and clearer without having to actually change the plot.

I like the name Prim. It's probably partially because of "The Hunger Games," but it is a pretty name, and fits the character's nature well. I wonder, though, if her mother isn't nature oriented, why would she have named her daughter that?

I don't really have a firm grasp of Father Nature. I assume he's all-powerful, but he can't control his appearance? Also, his speech was strange. He acted wise, but his speech was laid back. I like what you're going for, but try to be more consistent with it.

This test for Prim looks interesting. Definitely not like any conflict I've seen on this site before.

Interesting concept. I like the whole modern society vs. nature concept, but the whole "Mother Nature" thing seems even more toward the spiritual side. I look forward to seeing that play out.

I also like how you ground the setting. The digital camera is the only thing that really reveals that it's modern, but it's strong enough for it to be obvious.

I have mixed feelings about the main character. She's very quirky, which can make for an interesting protagonist. I'm worried, though, that I'm going to have trouble connecting to her as a reader. Try to keep in mind that she should have some relatability to her.

Looking forward to reading on :)

~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)

This seems more like a prologue, than a first chapter to me. You are telling the story, rather than showing it. And, while I enjoy different styles of writing this just seemed a little too narrative.

On the other hand, I can't wait to see what you have planned regarding the acorn, and the parents. I thought it was different on how she actually talked to the acorn - her thoughts would have been fine, but it was a little dry humor which made my smile.

We. Thank you for using my suggestion. Haha, I'm loving this even more.

It was a short chapter but it was fine. The flashback was good but it could have been better. To me, it's vague. How come Mother Nature was cruel and all that. I think if it was much more detailed, the readers would understand "Mother Nature's character".

It was a fine chapter though.

- . . Amethyst Penn :)

These type of mistakes are quite common in your writing:

So your immortal? - Must be : So you are immortal?

I noticed this in the previous chapter too, so please avoid such mistakes.

A very good chapter. Coupled with the simplistic style makes it believable.

But you must put on some breaks, you know. The story moves very swiftly, so the enormity of many incidences as lost as new ones keep springing at you.

Father Nature is her father? Did not see that one. The story moves at a lightning fast pace. I barely had time to digest that the flower was actually, you know, talking when I learned that she is the daughter of Father Nature.

The simplistic style of narration keeps up with the age of the child. But isn't it too straightforward for a twelve year old? It seems like she is only 7 or 8 years old. Anyway, those are my thoughts.

But I hope that if we see a time leap with Prim grown into a young woman, it would have an effect on the style.

The meeting with Father Nature was hurried. I mean children even younger than Prim should be awestruck, and as you grow, you start disbelieving these things.

Other than that, nice, lively.

Interesting concept.

upon the little, pathetic seed. - I find it strange that in the first line, the power of the acorn has been discussed but in the second it has been reduced to 'pathetic'.Maybe you can try changing the word to something with less intensity.

Engaging chapter. I particularly liked the way she talked to the acorn.

Okay pretty interesting chapter here. First of all, when she meets "Father Nature" I think her reaction should be a bit more surprised or at least a hint of fear because no matter how old you are, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be THAT interested and unfazed at seeing an entire man appear and disappear before you.

Also, this sentence,

["Never mind that. The thing is, I didn't grow that acorn. And I have a pretty good feeling you did."]

I don't think the "didn't" and the "you" should be bolded, it would probably be better if you italicized them if you're implying that you want more emphasis on them.

Okay um the green thumb theory, I don't know if you're deriving that one from "green fingers" which is the ability to make plants grow. I'm not sure it's a word or not but I'll just leave that alone for now.

Either way great chapters, those are the only errors I saw but you could also do with more description and information because so far I don't really know anything about the characters appearance, surroundings and etc. etc. Besides that, good story so far, it has a lot of potential! (:

~Idareutoguess From the Roadhouse

Haha, this was a pretty light hearted chapter with a dash of humor. The idea of her speaking to an acorn made me chuckle but I wonder what that part has to play in the story. I love the main character, and how she really connects with nature and the outdoors, I'm sure many people can and should relate to that. great chapter but I think the conclusion is lacking a bit because the reader needs more than just a tree growing to look forward to in the coming chapters lol, but overall great job (:

~Idareutoguess from the Roadhouse !

"capture a priceless moment with my new digital camera.", lol i've been meaning to get a digital camera for agesXD

"Mother thinks I'm crazy, to prefer the outdoors despite the heat instead of the air-conditioned indoors.", i don't think their's meant to be a comma there.

"for hundreds of yards", um you did'nt write her looking around or walking around. How di she know that their was'nt an acorn for a hundred yards?

Okjay she's talking to an acorn. Meh i've heard people doing stranger things. Alot of first person stories use I to start a sentence. Try notr to do that. You do it a good bit here, but not the worst. Just be careful.

Ps, repay to Eden if you want

Wow. That was great! :D. I do think that the protagonist is a little lonely, if she is talking to an acorn. But hey, I talk to my dog a lot. x3. So, I can't blame her! I actually think its really cute. :).

Anyways, I don't see anything wrong at all. Great job on descriptions, awesome dialogue & a great ending. Keep it up!

Broken Cross from the Roadhouse

P.S. Could you please payback via Uprising? Thanks!