|Reviews for Hailstorm|
| thefaultinourpatronus chapter 3 . 3/15/2011
I don't think this was a boring chapter at all! It was pretty entertaining, and while it may not have had that punch that the first two chapters had, it was definitely an exciting one! The character development was good - it was nice reading about Hail and Zhanna's relationship. Vetra seems like an interesting addition as well!
| thefaultinourpatronus chapter 2 . 3/14/2011
Hey there! So I keep hearing tons about this story, I figured I HAD to come back for more ;) Not that I was disappointed, none in the least!
I think you did a great job with the mix of action and dialogue, it fit very well and was really intense! The descriptions of the fights were amazing, it got to a point where I was just scared o.O Call me a sissy but lol, yeah. Anyway, I especially liked the part Hail and Senthus have a little exchange! Overall great work, once again! (:
| allegro rao chapter 21 . 3/13/2011
You're quite right. The story as it hurtles towards the end is damn epic and this is probably your best piece of work second to Time of Kings. The strongest point of this chapter was the plot connection to Time and that made the whole thing feel that much more epic. The imagery at the beginning was pretty solid too and I like the interaction between Ruin and Nemesis... Good versus evil huh?
Love it as always and can't believe the end is upon us!
-Allegro Rao via the Roadhouse
| thefaultinourpatronus chapter 1 . 3/12/2011
Amazing first chapter! You've really captured my attention with the dramatics of this.
“His own silence was the most fearful of sounds. It said everything it needed to. It taunted. It warned. It told.”
-What a start. What. A. Start.
He shifted towards her. His green eyes relinquished their inertia, bursting into verdant life. Something within her hand caught the light. He saw a bracelet of sand coloured beads, and then further, clasped in her fingers, was a metallic key-card. When he breached the doorway he saw the guard lying unconscious – or perhaps dead. A glance back notified him that the Wilder was armed.
The details you've given us are so vivid and the vocab makes it way cooler. The thoughts between the action had a very haunting feel to it.
Overall great start, I'll definitely read more ofthis in the future! (:
| Aeryn Jaden chapter 1 . 2/28/2011
Great opening, it really captured my attention. You caught me with this first chapter :). And I'm gonna have to make the time to read it all, sounds amazing so far,with so many things that I want manage to really create an atmosphere that enthralls the reader.
Your characters already show promising depth and the action is depicted at a good pace. I like it, and I can see it's going on my watch list. Good job!
| Kobra Kid chapter 19 . 2/21/2011
Oh wow, this was a really gripping chapter! Once again, wonderful work as always! I'm in love with all of your characters, or the main ones, haha. It's so hard to pick a favorite. There's bad-ass Hail, sweet Micah, and fire-bending Ruin. The great thing is that each of your characters had a distinguishable personality and set of values, which is just awesome! I really love how you describe simply everything, and how you showed the readers that Meredith and Hail are alike in many ways. That was really clever, and added another touch of realism to this amazing story. Ever think of getting your work published? Because seriously, I can totally see me grabbing this off of a book shelf some day. :D. Great work as always! Keep it up!
Kobra Kid, Roadhouse
P.S. I just updated RFTA. If you don't mind, can you please review? Thanks (:
| allegro rao chapter 20 . 1/31/2011
Sadly this story's going to end soon as I near the conclusion but it's been a blast and this chapter certainly did not dissapoint. The whole scene with Conner was pretty chilling and as always you captured the mood and atmosphere of this story quite well.
-Allegro Rao from the Roadhouse
| allegro rao chapter 19 . 1/9/2011
Glad to hear Connor as my favorite character in the story is getting a heap of development. As for the rest of the chapter itself, it was quite exhillerating. Much more action packed and charged than previously and things are most definately speeding towards the end. I think I'm starting to understand Vetra's importance to the story when you said 'she was the piece that completed the puzzle'. All in all great chapter and it's sad to see that this story will be ending soon.
-Allegro Rao from the Roadhouse
| allegro rao chapter 18 . 1/9/2011
After a long delay it's good to be back reading these awesome stories. You're right when you said you were preparing some fireworks for these characters of yours-everything I've read here looks to be moving towards the big finale? Having said that I'm not able to give any real critical opinions good or bad for anything these days. All I can really say is I found this particular chapter enjoyable to read. I do believe this is the first time we've been introduced to Vetra and Cronus right? Best part of the chapter personally for me was the way you intorudced Cronus's scene at the start. Nicely done
Can't wait to see how the story ends and hope to see more from you in the future. Varadon is still being written and hasn't been shelved at all!
-Allegro Rao via the Roadhouse
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 24 . 1/8/2011
I think that was a great ending - the 'wrapping up' didn't feel too forced, and as always the writing flowed really well. As usual, the interaction between the characters felt natural and realistic; I'm glad you decided to keep Micah alive and have Hail and Zhanna reconcile, even though they can't really be 'together', but I think that fit the whole story really well - it's not a neat, perfect happy ending. Overall, great job, it was a huge pleasure to read this.
| xRayne wolfx chapter 12 . 1/7/2011
I love Zhanna.. She's so powerful, yet even she has emotional issues like any other girl does.. You portrait that so well and Ruin is interesting, she's a goddess in a way but she isn't.. I love your discriptions as well, you have a way with your writing and I enjoy it.. Keep it up and good luck with your next story :)
| michelle chapter 21 . 1/7/2011
Just read chapter 20 :) wow it was very dramatic and action packed :D the bit with connars old friend was really well written :) shall read more soon! Well done! Xx
| Kobra Kid chapter 18 . 1/2/2011
I like Cronus. He's just a man corrupted by what you said, 'a toxic parasite'. He's flawed, very flawed, but isn't everyone? I really do hope that he overcomes Nemesis and helps the rebels. I can tell that he has a good heart, but he just needs to escape from the evil overcoming him. As for Ruin, I like her. She didn't mean to hurt Meredith, I realize now. She's a very unique character, and I enjoy reading what she says to the other characters. Oh, I know that this has NOTHING to do with the story, but whenever I read about Meredith, I imagine her as the one from the American T.V. version of "The Office". Yeah, probably because that's my favorite show...well, anyways, MICAH BETTER NOT DIE! HE'S MY FAVORITE!
If you don't mind, can you payback via RFTA? Thank you!
| seredemia chapter 24 . 12/29/2010
OH. THIS IS AWFUL! I HATE IT.
It's over! That's why I hate it! Noo. I feel like this story should go on forever just for my sake. I'll really be missing Hail. A story without him is just like... gah. Not possible.
LOL! You made a book called Hailstorm in Hailstorm! Hah, that cracks me up. *Wants that book too*
*Sigh* It's so wonderful to see the characters so full of happiness and hope. I think I might just shed a tear of happiness... I love how Meredith is living her life now... I think she deserves a happy, carefree life from now on.
Yay! Ruin's alive! Thank the lord! I knew you couldn't kill her! I never doubted it for a second!
I will not cry... BUT THIS IS SO SWEET. They named the baby after her dead ex... BUT NEVERMIND. Leo is a nice name! I like the name Leo! Oh, everything is so happy! I wuv it!
This story has been such a pleasure to read! I really enjoyed the time I had reading this! I cant wait to read your new story (I read the summary in your profile)
| Narq chapter 4 . 12/28/2010
He scowled in pain,
- I'd say to change to "Scowling in pain" just because you've got a lot of "He.." sentences around.
Oh I don't mind
- comma after oh?
Taras knew this place...
- felt that this para seemed a bit tell-y. Would be better if you could incorporate this into dialogue to make it a show.
he was gazing out at the Excavation wistfully once again,
- just because we're in his POV, we wouldn't need the 'wistfully' coz a) it's a tell - SHow that he's wistful and b) you can't see yourself being wistful
a will as strong as iron
- feels a bit cliche?
Meredith screamed a piercing scream
- somewhat repetitive and overwritten. You need to find another way to make it sound piercing ;)
She calmed down, composing herself for one moment. And then an urgency like no other swept through her body, and she too found herself running.
- need to show how she calms down here, and a comma after and before too.