|Reviews for Burn|
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 5/16/2010
"He whispered the les of a true devil"... lies
"For it is all a lie. a plot you see"... This period seemed so out of place since it was the only time you used one. Plus, if you are going to keep it, it should be A plot
"For what lyes in his hands is rage"...lies
"Be drug down into the darkness"...dragged
"So deep you won't be sable to get out"...able
So I liked the piece. It was especially a stark contrast to the other 2 pieces I just read by you. I think your word choices here is really great. It definitely gets his evilness across well and I like that it's a warning to someone else. Well done.
The only thing is the capitalization. It's all over the place. I would work on keeping it more consistent. Still nice job!
PS Check out the Review Game and/or the Review Marathon (links in my profile)
| Yusuf chapter 1 . 3/29/2010
Wow, not sure what to say other that, very dark and very well written.
| Broken-Angel-1994 chapter 1 . 3/29/2010
WOW! This is amazing. It's beautiful and well written. I can't express how much I love this. I'm adding it to my favorites so other people will read it. LOL! :D
PS: In the 3rd line, is le supposed to be lies?